DEAR ABBY: I have three daughters with children of their own. Every year, we have a family vacation. My daughter "Monica's" children, ages 8 and 9, whom I love and see regularly, behave badly. They cuss, yell at adults and show no respect whatsoever.

We have brought this to Monica's attention multiple times. She always reacts like we are wrong and says, "I'm not going to beat my kids." At no time did we imply she should "beat" her kids, just give them a time-out or a scolding. If any of us tell them "Stop, please don't do that," they act like victims. It's so bad that one of my other daughters told us as we were planning a vacation that she will not be going because of Monica's kids' behavior.

Monica accuses us of not liking her kids and being mean. She goes to the school to argue with teachers and the principal if her kids tell her they didn't get their way. I don't know what her issue is. Her reasons sound like she is mentally ill. Anything you can recommend? -- NOT ENABLING IN NEVADA

DEAR NOT ENABLING: Monica is a terrible parent. A responsible mother would see that her children learn appropriate behavior before they get into serious trouble. Because you cannot help your daughter to see reality, I recommend you stop inviting Monica and her children on these vacations. Their behavior is unacceptable, and their cousins should not be further influenced by their bad example.

DEAR ABBY: I am a 70-year-old male caring for my 71-year-old wife. She has had health issues for more than 10 years. I own my own business and am the only employee, although my wife does help me with a portion of the business. Dealing with all her health issues, trying to run a business, trying to survive financially and navigating the world today is difficult.

I am seeking resources or a support group in my area that works with people who care for their family members. We have been to counseling, which helped, but did not help me with all that I feel and have to do. I don't think my wife could navigate this world on her own. Can you point me in the right direction? -- RESPONSIBLE IN TEXAS

DEAR RESPONSIBLE: You are carrying a heavy load. An organization called The Caregiver Action Network (formerly the National Family Caregivers Association) may be what you are seeking. Established in 1992, it works to improve the quality of life for tens of millions of family caregivers, providing education, peer support and resources to family caregivers across the country free of charge. For more information, go to caregiveraction.org or call 855-277-3640.

DEAR READERS: Today, we remember the birthday of Rev. Martin Luther King Jr. who in 1968 was martyred in the cause of civil rights. During a time of insanity, his was a voice of reason when he eloquently preached, "Love is the only force capable of transforming an enemy into a friend."

DEAR ABBY: I am neat and organized, but my wife is the opposite. She's messy and disorganized. I knew it before we married, but we made a handshake deal that she'd make an effort to pick up after herself once we moved in together. Unfortunately, it hasn't happened.

Every time she comes home, whatever she's carrying gets dropped on the nearest flat surface -- keys, bags, mail, you name it. She piles things up instead of putting them away and it feels like there's clutter everywhere I look. Our bed is often piled with clothes and other items stacked almost two feet high.

I find myself constantly picking up after her, which is exhausting and makes me feel like I'm the only one taking care of our house. Her lack of effort is driving me crazy and causing me significant stress. I've tried talking calmly to her, setting boundaries for clutter-free areas, even threatening divorce out of sheer frustration. Nothing seems to work. I don't know what else to do.

I love my wife and don't want our marriage to fall apart over this, but the constant mess is taking a toll on my mental health and our relationship. How can I approach this in a way that fosters understanding and cooperation? I want us to find a solution that works for both of us without making her feel criticized or attacked. -- MESSED UP

DEAR MESSED UP: Several thoughts come to mind. You, a man who is "super neat" knew your wife was messy but married her anyway. Short of divorcing her, would it be possible for you to designate certain areas of your home that you agree will remain clutter-free? If that isn't possible, could you do what some other couples have done, which is live apart? Marriage mediation might help your wife understand the message you have been trying (and failing) to deliver. It's worth a try, but lifelong habits are very hard to break.

DEAR ABBY: Our 24-year-old daughter is getting married in 10 months. My wife is invited to the wedding, but I am not, and I am furious. The groom's family is paying for the trip, but they say I am not invited "for financial reasons."

I don't have a great relationship with my daughter. But that isn't the point. I told my wife that if the roles were reversed and she was excluded, I would not go. This may be a deal-breaker for me. It's apparent that our marriage doesn't mean as much to my wife as it does to me. What are your thoughts? -- ELIMINATED IN TEXAS

DEAR ELIMINATED: What I think is it's terrible for your daughter to put her mother on the spot this way. By doing so she is putting a strain on your marriage. You and your wife need to ask your doctor for a referral to a licensed marriage and family therapist so you can hash this out before further damage is done to your relationship. Do I think your wife should forgo the wedding? What I think doesn't matter as much as what she does.

DEAR ABBY: To help out his parents, I pick up my grandson from day care two days a week. I recently started taking him to a local park for about 45 minutes before I take him home. I'm physically active and climb the slides, chase him around and play with him. He loves our time together.

Over the last two weeks, there has been a little 6-year-old girl at the park who seems to be on her own. Her parents, I assume, are in the parking lot. They are not in the park play area.

The time we are there is the same time school gets out, so I'm sure she goes there every day after school. She has attached herself to us and wants me to go down the slide with her, push her on the swings and chase her constantly, and she asks me to watch her do this or that. Whatever we are doing, she is right there.

She is cute and sweet, but she is taking my time away from my grandson. Also, my grandson is annoyed at someone else demanding my time which also distracts me from keeping a close eye on him. There isn't another park we can go to that is nearby, and he loves this particular one. The girl is always there when we go. At first, I tried to include her in our play but that made it worse because she wanted more attention.

I am a retired teacher, so I understand she is craving attention from an adult, but she's really impeding on our play time together. How do I politely ask her to leave us alone? -- DISTRACTED GRANDMA IN FLORIDA

DEAR GRANDMA: You are assuming that the little girl has a parent in the parking lot. The next time you see her, ask her who is there with her -- mom, dad, aunt, caregiver? If you do, you can either meet the person and explain the problem or realize that no responsible adult is looking after her. If this is the case, for heaven's sake, report it to the school or CPS because leaving her all alone is child endangerment.

DEAR ABBY: I am a 66-year-old woman who has worked full time for 47 years, in addition to raising two children and maintaining a home. I will be retiring in three months because, honestly, I'm tired of the rat race.

I'm single and don't have a boyfriend. I have plenty of friends and family, but I'm increasingly nervous about what I'll do with my spare time. I know I should feel happy and grateful that I'm able to retire, but at the same time, I'm having anxiety over this freedom. Have you any suggestions to offer? -- STOPPING SOON IN TEXAS

DEAR STOPPING: Start making a list of what your interests are. Your retirement years could offer you the chance to travel and see the wonders this country has to offer. You could take adult education classes at a nearby college or university. You might like to volunteer some time on projects or charities in your community. Or you could just hang out with friends. How you choose to spend your free time is entirely up to you and limited only by your imagination.