DEAR ABBY: A co-worker, "Erin," has been allowed to work from home since the COVID-19 pandemic, while the rest of us came back to the office. We function alongside each other much like a small family. We have no drama, no office politics and an overall great atmosphere. Erin's absence has caused a strain on our team and has fueled resentment. Many feel it's unfair, although these feelings have not been shared with Erin.

It so happens that Erin has accepted a new job and hasn't told our boss because she's worried about how the boss will react. When I found out, I did tell the boss even though Erin told me not to. So now I am caught in the snare of my own little trap of deceit. Advice? -- TANGLED WEB IN NEW MEXICO

DEAR TANGLED WEB: I'm sorry you didn't mention what the benefit structure is at your company. Erin took a job on the Q.T. while still on your boss's payroll. In the state where I live (California), that would be a reason to fire her. I do not regard enlightening your boss about what Erin did as deceitful. I think what you did was the right thing to do and loyal to the company.

DEAR ABBY: I'm nearly 70, and suddenly I'm remembering things from the past that I haven't thought about in years -- mostly conversations in which I wish I had responded differently. (I've never been really quick about responding to things.) Now they keep popping up, and I can't seem to stop thinking about what I wish I had said. I don't know why this is happening or how to stop it. Any advice? -- MEMORY-RIDDEN IN MICHIGAN

DEAR MEMORY-RIDDEN: If this is how you are spending your leisure time, you may have too much of it on your hands. When this happens, try to redirect your thoughts to something else. Then remind yourself that none of us can change the past, but we can learn from it so we don't repeat our mistakes (or errors of omission) in the future. If what's happening leads to depression or anxiety, you might benefit from consulting a therapist about it.

DEAR ABBY: I have been an avid reader my entire life, and you have always given solid advice, especially when it comes to topics regarding proper etiquette. That's why you were the first person I thought to ask when my friend shared this information from our Catholic priest on how to attend Mass with reverence. "Don't cross your legs. Crossing your legs is considered a disrespectful posture." I'm all for proper manners and posture, but I have never heard this before. -- WONDERING IN THE MIDWEST

DEAR WONDERING: This is the first I have heard of it, but your friend may be correct. In some Orthodox cultures outside North America, crossing one's legs is considered to be very disrespectful. Here in America, however, it is not taboo, but it is considered to be "too casual and relaxed" for church.

DEAR ABBY: My husband and I have been together 23 years, married for almost nine. We are in our 60s. It's the second marriage for both of us. I retired due to having to move to another state for his job. I make friends wherever I go and get involved in community activities.

My husband has no friends. Seriously. ZERO! He goes to work and comes home. Over the years, he has accused me of wanting relationships with my male friends (whose wives are also my friends) and tells me I should just go on and be happy with the other man. Neither my friends nor I have ever done anything to spark his pathological jealousy.

Currently, I am on a nonprofit board of directors and must communicate often with the male president. He has become the new target. Counseling is out of the question because psychiatry is my husband's specialty. Also, he seems to think he is always right about everything. He has never issued an apology as long as I've known him.

I do not respond to his tirades because it's pointless, but I'm sick and tired of his behavior and thought process. I understand the "why" to this behavior (his heritage and environment), but that doesn't give him carte blanche to use it as an excuse. Any suggestions for moving forward? -- WEARY IN FLORIDA

DEAR WEARY: From what you have written, your antisocial husband is a bottomless vessel of insecurity. If you haven't been able to assuage it in all these years, I doubt you ever will. Many psychotherapists use mental health professionals themselves. But unless your husband is willing to admit that perhaps he, and not you, is the problem and seeks help, nothing will change. Frankly, I am surprised your marriage has lasted this long. Is this how you want to live the rest of your life? Answering that question is the way to move forward.

DEAR ABBY: I work from home a few days a week and live a block from the local middle school. Recently, I've broken up a group of kids in my yard hitting and fighting with each other. I don't know these kids, have no children in school and realize this is an ongoing issue. I'm not certain how to handle it.

I could ignore it, but I'm afraid not only that one of the kids will get hurt, but also that a parent would be upset that this happened on my property. I could report it to the police, but that may be overkill. I could also try reaching out to the school, but without any information on who these kids are, I'm not sure that would be much help either. Any ideas? -- WITNESS IN OHIO

DEAR WITNESS: I do have a suggestion. You have already spoken to the children involved in these altercations. You are correct that there could be liability if one or more of them are injured on your property. Contact the principal of the middle school and explain what has been going on. Once that's done, call or visit the police department and report that your yard is being turned into a battleground. If you do, the next time something starts happening and you call the police, they may respond quickly.

DEAR READERS: Welcome to 2026! A New Year has arrived; the last one is safely behind us. As always, this New Year brings with it our hopes for a new beginning.

Today presents an opportunity to discard destructive old habits for healthy new ones, and with that in mind, I will share Dear Abby's often-requested list of New Year's Resolutions -- which were adapted by my late mother, Pauline Phillips, from the original credo of Al-Anon:

JUST FOR TODAY: I will live through this day only. I will not brood about yesterday or obsess about tomorrow. I will not set far-reaching goals or try to overcome all of my problems at once. I know that I can do something for 24 hours that would overwhelm me if I had to keep it up for a lifetime.

JUST FOR TODAY: I will decide to be happy. I will not dwell on thoughts that depress me. If my mind fills with clouds, I will chase them away and fill it with sunshine.

JUST FOR TODAY: I will accept what is. I will face reality. I will correct those things that I can correct and accept those I cannot.

JUST FOR TODAY: I will improve my mind. I will read something that requires effort, thought and concentration. I will not be a mental loafer.

JUST FOR TODAY: I will make a conscious effort to be agreeable. I will be kind and courteous to those who cross my path, and I'll not speak ill of others. I will improve my appearance, speak softly and not interrupt when someone else is talking. Just for today, I will refrain from improving anybody but myself.

JUST FOR TODAY: I will do something positive to improve my health. If I'm a smoker, I'll quit. And I will get off the couch and take a brisk walk, even if it's only around the block.

JUST FOR TODAY: I will gather the courage to do what is right and take responsibility for my own actions.

And now, Dear Readers, allow me to share an item that was sent to me by L.J. Bhatia, a reader from New Delhi, India:

DEAR ABBY: This year, no resolutions, only some guidelines. The Holy Vedas say, "Man has subjected himself to thousands of self-inflicted bondages. Wisdom comes to a man who lives according to the true eternal laws of nature."

The prayer of St. Francis (of which there are several versions) contains a powerful message:

Lord, make me an instrument of your peace;

Where there is hatred, let me sow love;

Where there is injury, pardon;

Where there is doubt, faith;

Where there is despair, hope;

Where there is darkness, light;

And where there is sadness, joy.

O Divine Master,

Grant that I may not so much seek to be consoled as to console;

To be understood, as to understand;

To be loved, as to love;

For it is in giving that we receive,

It is in pardoning that we are pardoned,

And it is in dying that we are born to eternal life.

And so, Dear Readers, may 2026 bring with it good health, peace and joy to all of us. -- LOVE, ABBY