DEAR ABBY: Two years ago, my husband was told that our adult child's partner had tested positive for COVID two days before we were scheduled to visit them. My husband -- a forever Good Time Charlie -- decided not to inform me. Neither of us at that point had contracted COVID. We had taken every precaution we could to avoid it.

I have MS, which can react in unpredictable ways to viral exposures. My husband knows this very well, which is why I'm perplexed and furious that he thought it better to "stay on the good side" of our son by not allowing me to decide for myself whether I wanted to walk into a potentially deadly situation.

I only realized the danger I was facing when our son, while driving us to his apartment, suddenly apologized to my husband, stating he "couldn't do it," and said his partner was in the throes of COVID! I was shocked speechless, but I held my tongue until we were alone.

My husband said he didn't think it was a "big deal" because we wouldn't have stayed long, and he knew I'd back out of the visit and "ruin it for everyone." He doesn't understand the issue, and I'm considering a divorce because he withheld information which could have led to a serious health outcome for me.

Is his behavior as major an issue as I think it is, or am I overreacting? We've been married 40 years, in a generally fair relationship, but we married very young. His blatant disregard for my health, let alone his own, not caring how either of us would react if we had become exposed to COVID, may be unforgivable. Do you agree? -- GOOD TIME CHARLIE'S WIFE

DEAR WIFE: Was your husband's selfish lapse in judgment a one-time thing or has he always been this way? "Ruin the visit for everyone"? Your son's partner was in no condition to entertain. You are fortunate the visit didn't turn into a tragedy. I think you should discuss this not only with your physician but also an attorney and take your cues from them.

DEAR ABBY: I have been with my boyfriend, "Matt," for three years. Everything was great in the beginning, and I was happy I had found someone with the same interests as me.

I have a son, and we are very close because it has been pretty much just me and him for a long time. Matt hates it! He constantly says extremely mean things about my job as a mother. My son hides out in his room all the time, and it has become awkward here. Matt and I have a house together. I am miserable and want out. I have seen what a mean and angry person Matt can be, and I'm done. How do I start that conversation and move on with my life with my son? -- FED UP IN ARIZONA

DEAR FED UP: Your boyfriend isn't likely to overcome his jealousy of your son. If you and Matt own the house jointly, you may need a lawyer to ensure you get your money out. Contact one and ask what the process involves. Once you have that information, let your lawyer tell you how to proceed with separating yourself from Matt.

DEAR ABBY: My son died of cancer at 33. It was heartbreaking. My daughter-in-law, "Belinda," had grown distant before his death, and although they had a son through artificial insemination, I have almost never seen him. I helped with the weeding in my son's yard, but any time I came, Belinda always had the baby at the park or someplace else.

Now that my son is gone, she won't answer any phone calls or texts. We do have some contact with her family. They have asked her why she won't contact us, and she has no explanation. My theory is that Belinda was uncomfortable sharing our son, and it has transferred to the grandchildren. I say "grandchildren" because she used his sperm to have another child. We found out by accident that a baby girl was born. We were never notified. While I doubt this plays a big part in this, Belinda is bipolar.

As it stands, I no longer make an effort to have a relationship with my grandchildren. They are so young, and I anticipate difficulty in pursuing grandparents' rights because of their ages and their mother's attitude toward us. This is painful, as they are the only part of my son that remains. I feel helpless and have pretty much blocked out the fact that I have grandchildren. Do you have any advice? -- BLOCKED IN OHIO

DEAR BLOCKED: What a sad letter. I do have some thoughts about your situation. The first is that because your son's sperm was used to conceive the children, you might benefit from discussing this with an attorney and asking if your state is one in which there are grandparents' rights. The second is, because you are hurting, ask your doctor for a referral to a licensed family therapist to help you accept what you cannot change. You have my sympathy.

DEAR ABBY: My mother took care of her mother-in-law with Alzheimer's for nine years. My father had two sisters who had nothing to do with their mother during that time. Now, the younger sister is having health problems and wants my parents, who are 78, to take her to appointments that are more than an hour away. She also tried to move in with them. Abby, this sister has two grown children who live with her. Neither one works. One is on Social Security; the other has a spouse living there. (He has a job.) All of them have vehicles and an income to help her.

My parents have their own health issues and really are not able to do what she wants or expects. She has always been selfish and childish. She's constantly calling and giving my mother some sob story. I'd like to tell my aunt they aren't able to do what she wants, but I don't want to put my parents in an awkward position. What should I do? -- WARY IN WEST VIRGINIA

DEAR WARY: In what way would telling your aunt that your parents really aren't able to do the things she's asking put them in an awkward position? If it's the truth, then tell her.

DEAR ABBY: While attending a friend's family barbecue, "Willa," a young mother of four, drank too much and became ill. Drugs may have been involved. Understandably, the three older children became very concerned about their mom's condition. Willa's partner, "Ian," was furious. My husband spent an hour de-escalating Ian's issues, while I attended to Willa and assured the children their mom would be feeling better after she rested.

The problem I had was with my friend "Julia," who was the host. Julia is Ian's mother and the grandmother of the youngest child he has with Willa. After I took care of Willa, the kids and Ian, the older ones asked Julia what was wrong with their mom. I replied that their mom was sick from drinking too much, after which Julia loudly announced, "Your mom's not 'sick' ... she's DRUNK!" Her outburst caused the older kids (ages 6 to 12) to become upset again. Julia maintains she did nothing wrong. What are your thoughts? -- CLEANING UP THE MESS

DEAR CLEANING UP: Julia was probably mad as heck that Willa ruined her party, which is why she unloaded the way she did. That said, the children were clearly worried when they asked what was wrong with their mom. Frankly, I think Julia did the right thing by telling them the truth about their mother's condition. That way, the next time it happens, and it will, they won't be terrified that their mother has a fatal illness.

DEAR ABBY: I am in a longtime relationship and things are good. I feel loved, and I love him. However, we have opposite opinions about current politics. It is disturbing that he could feel this way. Our discussions usually result in his telling me over and over, louder and louder, "how things are" and "what the real truth is," and that I'm "not looking at the whole picture."

I told him I don't like the debates we have as I feel very off-balance afterward, and it seems like he's pushing me to accept his beliefs. It has now reached the point that if we keep up these "discussions," as he calls them, I'll probably have to leave the relationship. I told him I don't ever want to talk about politics with him again. Is this a good option? Any other ideas? I cannot believe we are so opposite, yet he is very nice to me. -- OPPOSITE IN WASHINGTON

DEAR OPPOSITE: This gentleman may be very nice to you, but philosophically you and he are poles apart. I don't think it is "very nice" to strong-arm someone into agreeing to something to which they are opposed. Do you really think you can stifle your feelings forever by not discussing this? This is who he is at his core, and he isn't going to change his convictions. The question you have to answer is whether you are willing or able to do that.

DEAR READERS: I wish you all a joyous, meaningful, healthy and safe Christmas. Merry Christmas, everyone! -- LOVE, ABBY