DEAR ABBY: While attending a friend's family barbecue, "Willa," a young mother of four, drank too much and became ill. Drugs may have been involved. Understandably, the three older children became very concerned about their mom's condition. Willa's partner, "Ian," was furious. My husband spent an hour de-escalating Ian's issues, while I attended to Willa and assured the children their mom would be feeling better after she rested.

The problem I had was with my friend "Julia," who was the host. Julia is Ian's mother and the grandmother of the youngest child he has with Willa. After I took care of Willa, the kids and Ian, the older ones asked Julia what was wrong with their mom. I replied that their mom was sick from drinking too much, after which Julia loudly announced, "Your mom's not 'sick' ... she's DRUNK!" Her outburst caused the older kids (ages 6 to 12) to become upset again. Julia maintains she did nothing wrong. What are your thoughts? -- CLEANING UP THE MESS

DEAR CLEANING UP: Julia was probably mad as heck that Willa ruined her party, which is why she unloaded the way she did. That said, the children were clearly worried when they asked what was wrong with their mom. Frankly, I think Julia did the right thing by telling them the truth about their mother's condition. That way, the next time it happens, and it will, they won't be terrified that their mother has a fatal illness.

DEAR ABBY: I am in a longtime relationship and things are good. I feel loved, and I love him. However, we have opposite opinions about current politics. It is disturbing that he could feel this way. Our discussions usually result in his telling me over and over, louder and louder, "how things are" and "what the real truth is," and that I'm "not looking at the whole picture."

I told him I don't like the debates we have as I feel very off-balance afterward, and it seems like he's pushing me to accept his beliefs. It has now reached the point that if we keep up these "discussions," as he calls them, I'll probably have to leave the relationship. I told him I don't ever want to talk about politics with him again. Is this a good option? Any other ideas? I cannot believe we are so opposite, yet he is very nice to me. -- OPPOSITE IN WASHINGTON

DEAR OPPOSITE: This gentleman may be very nice to you, but philosophically you and he are poles apart. I don't think it is "very nice" to strong-arm someone into agreeing to something to which they are opposed. Do you really think you can stifle your feelings forever by not discussing this? This is who he is at his core, and he isn't going to change his convictions. The question you have to answer is whether you are willing or able to do that.

DEAR READERS: I wish you all a joyous, meaningful, healthy and safe Christmas. Merry Christmas, everyone! -- LOVE, ABBY

DEAR ABBY: I'm an active senior man. To keep my beard looking attractive, a hairstylist trims it every two weeks. I've had the same stylist for three years, and we have become good friends, to the point that she has invited me to her home for an evening meal with her family. I have been there several times, but on the last occasion, she did something odd and, I believe, disrespectful.

She is a very attractive 50-year-old lady. Arriving at her home, I was left in the company of her parents while she and her son (and perhaps her husband) prepared the food. When it was finished, she brought me my plate, then served her parents. What shocked me was that she was dressed in what she called a swimsuit. To me, it was the barest thong and bra I had ever seen and two inches from being naked. Earlier that day, when she was trimming my beard, she wore sweatpants and a sweatshirt.

Her excuse for the "swimsuit" was that there was something wrong with a spot on her hip that required a patch, and she couldn't wear clothing over it because it would put too much pressure on the afflicted spot. (I don't buy it.) I felt that, if nothing else, she could have at least put on one of her husband's shirts. I felt embarrassed and insulted. Although I said nothing, I decided never to go to her home again. Should I tell her why if she asks? -- LOOKING GOOD IN COLORADO

DEAR LOOKING GOOD: Your "barber(ella)" wasn't entertaining you alone. Her parents, son and (possibly) her husband were also there. She obviously felt comfortable enough around you that she wore something she usually wears in that environment and had no idea you would react the way you have. From now on, politely refuse her dinner invitations. If she asks why, I don't think it would be rude to level with her that you felt embarrassed she wasn't more covered up. It's the truth.

DEAR ABBY: My wife's family is rather enmeshed. They have never really accepted me and are rude and unkind toward me. Recently, her father's attitude has shifted from rude to downright hostile. He has tried to physically assault me. (I didn't fight back.)

They watch our kids three days a week. I appreciate it and try hard to be a respectful and good person, but I am not sure what to do. My wife is unable or unwilling to take a strong stance against her father's behavior. Any advice? -- PUNISHED IN PENNSYLVANIA

DEAR PUNISHED: There is something wrong with your father-in-law. The next time he lays a hand on you, call the police and have him arrested, as you would any other aggressor. As to your "enmeshed" wife, some joint sessions with a marriage counselor might help her to reorganize her priorities. However, if she can't manage that, you may need to decide if you want to remain married to her or climb out of that snake pit.

DEAR ABBY: My sister, "Blanche," and I didn't grow up together after she turned 13. I was 6 at that time, and our grandmother raised her. We talked on the phone a lot until I was 45 and my husband died. Blanche then convinced me to move to her state. When I received the insurance payout, she talked me into buying a property with two houses -- one for her, and one for me. Then she had us go into business together.

I met someone a year later, and he moved in a year after that. Then my sister started driving a wedge. Blanche has always been manipulative and controlling. She refused to pay rent and wanted to clean my house in exchange for it. After many fights, silent treatment, etc. -- not only me but also with our parents, brother, her daughter and her son-in-law -- my now-fiance and I decided to sell the property and move out of state.

I'm concerned Blanche will give us trouble about moving out. She can barely pay her own bills, let alone pay rent somewhere else. My fiance says it's not our problem, we need to live our lives and staying stuck in a hostile environment is unhealthy. My concern is that Blanche is my sister, and I hate to see her kicked out on the street. What should I do if she refuses to leave? She has received a legal eviction notice that gives her eight months to go. My fiance says we may have to call the sheriff to escort her out. -- DREADING IT IN ARIZONA

DEAR DREADING IT: Your sister has eight months to make other living arrangements, so she isn't going to be "out on the street" overnight. Discuss this messy problem with an attorney and enlist their help. If you can manage it, document the condition of the house she's occupying. Your fiance may be right about your sister, so when the time comes for her to leave, consider having law enforcement present to ensure she doesn't damage your property.

DEAR ABBY: I am a widow. Most of my friends are married. What do you think about them calling and touching base with me only when they are in their cars running errands? They never call from home while they're with their husbands. Are they hiding the fact that they are calling their single friend? I think it's rude to call someone while fighting traffic and making stops like the bank drive-up window.

I have thought about asking them to call me back when they get home, but they sound like they are just too busy to do that. I'm getting to the point where I just don't answer their calls. I also have a married friend who only texts and never talks on the phone. -- AFTERTHOUGHT IN FLORIDA

DEAR AFTERTHOUGHT: Your friends may have busy schedules and little free time, which is why they call you from their cars. They may also prefer that what they discuss with you be just between the two of you, with no one else listening in. I do not think you should take this as personally as you seem to have taken it. For a definitive answer to your question, you must ask your friends why they do this.