DEAR ABBY: I am a man whose long-distance boyfriend of one year has a married female best friend. (She's his boss.) She is also a tobacco-addicted narcissist who drinks a lot. They chat on the phone and text for hours every day because, as he puts it, "she can't be alone." I think she uses him to compensate for her insecurities. I also think she's a bad influence on him.

We see each other only every other week because of the physical distance between us, and then only for a day and a half. Last weekend while I was there, she texted him and asked if we would come spend the evening and drink with her. I told him absolutely not! I am protective of our time together and have no desire to spend any time with her.

The closeness they share really bothers me. They have been friends for 20 years, but their relationship feels weirdly close to me. It's almost like a pseudo romance. I don't know what to do. I really love this man, but I often feel like a third wheel. We talk every night, and he mentions her every single night. I'm tired of it. When he mentions her name, I physically cringe.

I have tried talking to him about my feelings concerning this, but he isn't interested in talking about it. He defends her adamantly. What should I do? -- FEELING STUCK IN INDIANA

DEAR FEELING STUCK: Your boyfriend's relationship with this woman predates the one he has with you by 19 years. If he was concerned about your feelings or about discussing their relationship, he would make some changes. My advice is to find another boyfriend who shows more consideration.

DEAR ABBY: My ex-partner has a dog, "Butch," who is 9 years old. I lived with Butch for almost three years. Butch is a rescue who has some trauma from his earlier life. He's shy and timid and doesn't like children or vacuum cleaners.

I also have a dog who lived with me during the time we lived with Butch. Last year, while our house was being vacuumed by a housekeeper, Butch bit her on her calf. I was there along with my dog. I attended to the woman and made sure she was OK. I also put Butch in a separate room. When my partner came home, I told him what had happened, but he seemed unfazed.

Fast-forward six months: My partner and I have parted ways, and he decided to ditch Butch so he can travel and play pickleball with his new victim. He gave Butch to his niece, who has two small children, without disclosing the dog's biting history. In fact, he told his family that my dog bit the housekeeper, not Butch. I was present when the bite occurred, and he is lying.

I have told the family that I have "concerns" for the children and Butch's fate should he bite again. His former owner will not own up to the truth. I would like your take on this ticking time bomb. -- KNOWS THE TRUTH IN MICHIGAN

DEAR KNOWS: Contact your ex-boyfriend's niece immediately and tell her that Butch presents a danger to her children. If she doesn't believe you, offer to have the housekeeper who was bitten vouch for your honesty. As much as I like dogs, that one does not belong in a household with children.

DEAR ABBY: My son and his fiancee are getting married in a few months. They are planning a small reception with only their closest friends and family. Unfortunately, this excludes my late father's second wife, "Bonnie," who has been in our lives for nearly 40 years. My son has no particular problem with Bonnie, but she has struggled with mental health issues over the years, and at times her behavior created friction within the family. She has made no effort to welcome my son's fiancee to the family, and, as a result, he feels no strong desire to include her.

I respect my son's decision, but unfortunately it puts me in an awkward position. While I'm not extremely close to Bonnie either, we are the only family she has, and I've always made a point of including her in holidays and other family celebrations, even after my father's death several years ago. She's a good person, but she's easily offended and will be devastated when she finds out she's not invited to the reception. At this time, she knows my son is engaged but does not know when the wedding is. I'm struggling with how to tell her, if at all. Please help. -- GROOM'S MOM IN THE EAST

DEAR MOM: You are not particularly close to Bonnie. Your son is even less so. This is his wedding reception, and you should step back and stay out of it. When (and if) Bonnie learns about the reception to which she was not invited, remind her then that the reception was small, they were not able to include her, and if she takes issue with it, she should discuss it with your son.

DEAR ABBY: My husband passed away 10 years ago. We were married for 45 years. Two years ago, my daughter set me up on a dating site. I met and married a man I connected with there. To this day, my son and daughter have not spoken to me! I live 3 miles from them. They have never met my husband and have not accepted my choice. Abby, they even contacted my lawyer! He told them, "Your mother is an adult and can make her own decisions."

Most of my life, I've helped my children when they asked. It's never easy to start over, but we are both doing our very best. I want them to know my husband loves me, as I love him. It's not perfect, but for 45 years I went through great and difficult times. Before his death, my late husband apologized for the hurt he caused me. How do I bring my children back into my life and introduce my new husband to them? He sees the sadness I feel. -- HOPING IN CALIFORNIA

DEAR HOPING: From what you have written, you made a wise choice in agreeing to marry your new husband. Forgive me if this seems cynical, but when adult children contact a lawyer to prevent a parent's marriage (to someone they have never met), I can't help but suspect there may be an inheritance involved. Before reaching out to your children, please schedule some sessions with a licensed marriage and family therapist who can advise you how (or if) to proceed. And then, and this is crucial, discuss it with your legal adviser to prevent being taken advantage of.

DEAR ABBY: My father and stepmother have a vacation home in another state, and they invite us to visit every year. The problem is, the sofa bed in the guest room is so uncomfortable that it's impossible to sleep. However, they think that the bed is great because other guests have told them that. I find it hard to believe that the other guests meant it. I assume they were just being polite.

We have to fly to get to the vacation home, so it's not possible to visit only for the day. The situation makes me not want to visit because going for days without sleeping is miserable. However, I'm afraid it would be rude to tell them the truth about the bed. I'm running out of excuses about why I can't visit. Please, I need help. -- RESTLESS DAUGHTER IN NEW YORK

DEAR DAUGHTER: For heaven's sake, quit waffling and tell your father and stepmother the truth! Regardless of what previous guests have told them, the bed in their guest room is not comfortable for you. Saying that isn't rude. If they can afford a vacation home, they can afford a new mattress or let you share the expense.

DEAR ABBY: My parent has gone on to have other kids, grandkids and great-grandkids. Because there are so many, the families have had to split and have their own holidays, so we don't have a close relationship with the younger members. Some of them continue to invite or expect gifts for baby showers and other occasions, but we really have no relationship with the person it's for. I understand we are "family," but at this point, this is generations back, and at events, these relatives don't even speak to us.

Is it OK to draw the line somewhere? If I go to an event, I will of course give a gift, but is it all right to not attend or send a gift? It doesn't help that they usually don't give gifts to other family members for their events, and when our gifts have been received, there is never a thank-you. -- MUSING IN THE MIDWEST

DEAR MUSING: When you receive an invitation to an event from people you barely know, you are under no obligation to accept. You are also not required to send a gift. If you are feeling generous, send the person a nice card and include a sweet note with your well wishes.

DEAR ABBY: Once a month, I meet for lunch and cards with three women I have known for many years. We have lots of fun, but it is bittersweet for me. I am aware the three of them get together and communicate often, but not with me. What really bothers me is they attempt to hide it from me. I'm considering dropping out of these get-togethers because I feel hurt that I am being excluded. Or should I just try to ignore it? -- LEFT OUT IN INDIANA

DEAR LEFT OUT: These women may for some reason feel they have more in common with each other than they do with you, and they are secretive about their communications in an effort to avoid hurting your feelings. Do you have friends other than these women? If the answer is no, start looking around for activities you can join so you can meet new people. In the meantime, while looking to broaden your social circle, do your best to enjoy this one.