DEAR ABBY: My son and his fiancee are getting married in a few months. They are planning a small reception with only their closest friends and family. Unfortunately, this excludes my late father's second wife, "Bonnie," who has been in our lives for nearly 40 years. My son has no particular problem with Bonnie, but she has struggled with mental health issues over the years, and at times her behavior created friction within the family. She has made no effort to welcome my son's fiancee to the family, and, as a result, he feels no strong desire to include her.

I respect my son's decision, but unfortunately it puts me in an awkward position. While I'm not extremely close to Bonnie either, we are the only family she has, and I've always made a point of including her in holidays and other family celebrations, even after my father's death several years ago. She's a good person, but she's easily offended and will be devastated when she finds out she's not invited to the reception. At this time, she knows my son is engaged but does not know when the wedding is. I'm struggling with how to tell her, if at all. Please help. -- GROOM'S MOM IN THE EAST

DEAR MOM: You are not particularly close to Bonnie. Your son is even less so. This is his wedding reception, and you should step back and stay out of it. When (and if) Bonnie learns about the reception to which she was not invited, remind her then that the reception was small, they were not able to include her, and if she takes issue with it, she should discuss it with your son.

DEAR ABBY: My husband passed away 10 years ago. We were married for 45 years. Two years ago, my daughter set me up on a dating site. I met and married a man I connected with there. To this day, my son and daughter have not spoken to me! I live 3 miles from them. They have never met my husband and have not accepted my choice. Abby, they even contacted my lawyer! He told them, "Your mother is an adult and can make her own decisions."

Most of my life, I've helped my children when they asked. It's never easy to start over, but we are both doing our very best. I want them to know my husband loves me, as I love him. It's not perfect, but for 45 years I went through great and difficult times. Before his death, my late husband apologized for the hurt he caused me. How do I bring my children back into my life and introduce my new husband to them? He sees the sadness I feel. -- HOPING IN CALIFORNIA

DEAR HOPING: From what you have written, you made a wise choice in agreeing to marry your new husband. Forgive me if this seems cynical, but when adult children contact a lawyer to prevent a parent's marriage (to someone they have never met), I can't help but suspect there may be an inheritance involved. Before reaching out to your children, please schedule some sessions with a licensed marriage and family therapist who can advise you how (or if) to proceed. And then, and this is crucial, discuss it with your legal adviser to prevent being taken advantage of.

DEAR ABBY: My father and stepmother have a vacation home in another state, and they invite us to visit every year. The problem is, the sofa bed in the guest room is so uncomfortable that it's impossible to sleep. However, they think that the bed is great because other guests have told them that. I find it hard to believe that the other guests meant it. I assume they were just being polite.

We have to fly to get to the vacation home, so it's not possible to visit only for the day. The situation makes me not want to visit because going for days without sleeping is miserable. However, I'm afraid it would be rude to tell them the truth about the bed. I'm running out of excuses about why I can't visit. Please, I need help. -- RESTLESS DAUGHTER IN NEW YORK

DEAR DAUGHTER: For heaven's sake, quit waffling and tell your father and stepmother the truth! Regardless of what previous guests have told them, the bed in their guest room is not comfortable for you. Saying that isn't rude. If they can afford a vacation home, they can afford a new mattress or let you share the expense.

DEAR ABBY: My parent has gone on to have other kids, grandkids and great-grandkids. Because there are so many, the families have had to split and have their own holidays, so we don't have a close relationship with the younger members. Some of them continue to invite or expect gifts for baby showers and other occasions, but we really have no relationship with the person it's for. I understand we are "family," but at this point, this is generations back, and at events, these relatives don't even speak to us.

Is it OK to draw the line somewhere? If I go to an event, I will of course give a gift, but is it all right to not attend or send a gift? It doesn't help that they usually don't give gifts to other family members for their events, and when our gifts have been received, there is never a thank-you. -- MUSING IN THE MIDWEST

DEAR MUSING: When you receive an invitation to an event from people you barely know, you are under no obligation to accept. You are also not required to send a gift. If you are feeling generous, send the person a nice card and include a sweet note with your well wishes.

DEAR ABBY: Once a month, I meet for lunch and cards with three women I have known for many years. We have lots of fun, but it is bittersweet for me. I am aware the three of them get together and communicate often, but not with me. What really bothers me is they attempt to hide it from me. I'm considering dropping out of these get-togethers because I feel hurt that I am being excluded. Or should I just try to ignore it? -- LEFT OUT IN INDIANA

DEAR LEFT OUT: These women may for some reason feel they have more in common with each other than they do with you, and they are secretive about their communications in an effort to avoid hurting your feelings. Do you have friends other than these women? If the answer is no, start looking around for activities you can join so you can meet new people. In the meantime, while looking to broaden your social circle, do your best to enjoy this one.

DEAR ABBY: I have a friend, "Chris," from our teenage days. We've been performing music together for decades. We live in different cities but get together every few years. Over the last 20 years, Chris has turned toward a fundamentalist viewpoint on religion. I found it too much to handle and have distanced myself.

Recently, Chris contacted me to inform me that his mother had died. I felt sincere about being supportive and helping him get through the loss, so we started performing music together again. It was going well, and he wanted to record one of my songs. When I mentioned I had a demo of it, he asked me for it. I realized too late that the name on the file -- "Pagan Christmas" -- might be an issue.

I received this message back from him a week later: "I like the chord progression but was a bit put off by the title. People I care about also found the title offensive. I'll do my best to purge it from my memory in the hope that you can present it later with a more inclusive and marketable moniker. I cannot contribute to anything that could be perceived as having anti-Christian bias."

Abby, I'm going back and forth between trying to ignore his message and being angry. Can you advise me on how to handle this situation? -- CONTENT CREATOR IN WASHINGTON

DEAR CREATOR: Nursing anger is a waste of your time. Apologize to Chris for the oversight. Tell him you didn't realize the title of the piece might offend him until after you had already hit the "send" button, and then see what kind of a title you can agree upon. If you are unable to reach a compromise, tell him you would prefer that he not use the song.

DEAR ABBY: I am a single, 52-year-old woman, never married with no kids. I suffer from depression as well as a number of severe health issues and live alone with three cats. Lately, I've been feeling lost and confused about my life. I don't know how to live my life since I got sick. I miss being active with family and friends like I used to be. I'm confined to my house almost all the time. Please give me some advice on how to be less depressed, and how I can be more active in my life again and not dwell so much on my health issues. -- CAT LADY IN MASSACHUSETTS

DEAR CAT LADY: People become depressed for many reasons. Because your depression is ongoing, it's important that you discuss it with your physician. A psychologist and medication could help you to cope more effectively with your challenges.

As to how to become more active in your social life, because I don't know how restricted your health issues have made you, I advise you to go online and contact a support group or foundation for those who have the same medical conditions you do. You may be able to find suggestions and community there. Being able to talk with others who are in the same situation can often be productive.