DEAR ABBY: My wife is the love of my life. She is, and always has been, my dream girl. We used to have sex three or four times a week, but since her hysterectomy, she no longer desires sex. She's OK with scheduling sex on a certain date, but most of the time she doesn't follow through because she doesn't think about it, and I feel unwanted and undesired. Other than this issue, she is the woman for me. She makes me happy. She is very supportive and makes sure I'm taken care of in every other way.

I am a sexual person. My past relationships were all passionate, and I feel more like a man after a good romp. Am I thinking too much about this? She's perfect in every way except for her lack of sex drive. I have never cheated on her, and I am not considering divorce, so what can I do? -- DEPRIVED IN CALIFORNIA

DEAR DEPRIVED: Talk with your wife and tell her everything you have written to me. It may be time for the two of you to schedule a consultation with her gynecologist to discuss this. People's sex drives are hormone driven, and there may be a medical remedy for this problem. However, if there isn't, it might be helpful for your wife to put a recurring reminder on her calendar about scheduling sex with you.

DEAR ABBY: I enjoy hosting small dinner parties and like to keep the size of the group to 12, which fits comfortably around our dining room table. If we move furniture, we can add extra tables and chairs, but as we get older, hosting a bigger group has become more difficult.

During holidays, because we don't have family in town, we like to invite others who are in a similar situation to join us, but we have more friends than will fit around our table. I have tried varying the group each year, but then people's feelings are hurt if they're not included the next year. Should we celebrate holidays on our own to avoid hurting anyone? -- HAPPY HOSTESS IN OHIO

DEAR HOSTESS: You are fortunate to have so many friends. As hosts, you and your husband have the privilege of inviting anyone you wish to your holiday dinners. For someone to assume that, because they have been invited one year, they are entitled to celebrate with you in perpetuity is presumptuous.

If anyone indicates their feelings are hurt at not being invited annually, feel free to explain (as you have to me) that you are glad they enjoy your hospitality, but you need to include other friends as well. It's the truth. It's not insulting.

P.S. If you would like to do something different during the holidays, feel free to do so. Some folks give themselves a vacation at that time by getting out of Dodge.

DEAR ABBY: I am freshman in high school, and I live with my stepmother and father. They are great parents to me and my little brother but very homophobic. I love going to church with them, but I have a partner of the same gender. My parents recently found out and have decided as punishment to isolate me from everyone, including putting me in homeschool.

What they don't understand is that I am confused about myself, and I can't make sense of my emotions. Can I be both Christian and lesbian? Every time I try to ask one of them for help understanding, they shut down and call me disgusting. What can I do to get them to understand that I need to talk through this? -- WHO AM I IN KENTUCKY

DEAR 'WHO': Of course a person can be both LGBTQ and Christian, although you may not be welcomed at the denomination to which your parents belong. The Episcopalians, the Presbyterians, the United Methodist Church, the United Church of Christ and the Metropolitan Community Church (an LGBTQ denomination) are among the inclusive. Your parents may be frightened because they think you have "chosen" to be the way you are.

You may find online resources will make you feel better as you seek to understand more about yourself. One of them is The Trevor Project (thetrevorproject.org), which is the leading crisis intervention nonprofit organization for LGBTQ young people. It provides information and support 24/7, all year round.

Another trusted resource I have recommended for many years, not just for you but also for your parents if they would like to learn more about this subject, is called PFLAG. It was started in 1973 by a mother and her gay son and has grown to become the leading resource for educational materials on this subject. Its web address is pflag.org.

DEAR ABBY: Twenty years ago, my daughter "Tina" was in an abusive marriage that ended with the overdose death of her husband. My wife, her mother, died recently. As I was going through some old papers and files, I came across a plain white envelope. Inside were a couple of handwritten letters from Tina's husband, seemingly written to her just prior to his death. I am unsure what I should do with them.

My worry is that if I give them to Tina, it might cause her to relive that terrible time. On the other hand, I feel the decision of what to do with the letters should be hers. She not only survived, but she has thrived and made a wonderful life for herself. -- PROUD DAD IN FLORIDA

DEAR DAD: You state that you found the letters in some "old papers" belonging to your wife. How strange that they weren't sent to your daughter. If they were intended to be passed on to your daughter, why didn't she receive them? If she did receive them and gave them to her mother, then she already knows what's in them. I think you should tell Tina what you came across, ask if she knows about them and, if she doesn't know, offer them to her.

DEAR ABBY: Nine months ago, my friend "Anne" moved in with me after losing her home following her boyfriend's death. Since then, she's had trouble finding employment, but when she does work, she spends money on stuff she really doesn't need. She's always talking about how she hates to be a burden on me and will move out ASAP. Then she buys random stuff from online shopping sites (like designer purses and clothes), so I doubt she's saving for her own place yet. She says it's because she's been through a lot and she deserves it. She has a "you only live once" mindset. She once encouraged me to buy a brand-new $300 set of luggage "just because I liked it." She also shows her appreciation to me by buying me things.

We're both in our mid-50s, each with an only child in their 30s, and I'm trying to get rid of stuff I don't need so my daughter won't have to deal with it when I'm gone. I know we're both adults and that I don't have the right to tell Anne what to do with her money and life. I just would rather she take the money she's spending on frivolous stuff for me and put it toward getting her own place.

Anne's sensitive and takes things personally. How do I break it to her gently that I'm not a fan of presents, and the best way she can show her gratitude to me is to save her hard-earned money instead of buying me more stuff I don't need (and really don't want)? -- THANKS, BUT NO THANKS

DEAR T.B.N.T.: What you need to "break gently" to your friend is that you do not want a permanent roommate, and that if she wants to show her gratitude, you would appreciate her starting to seriously save so she has the money to get a place of her own.

DEAR ABBY: I was wondering how to handle questions I get about children. My wife and I don't have kids. For example, at a networking event in which people don't want to lead off with what they do, children seem a "safe" topic. In my opinion, if someone wants to bring up the subject of children, they should first ask if everyone in the group has them, because it becomes awkward when they get to me, and I say we are childless. (Same goes for other sensitive topics, such as cancer, etc.) Isn't it rude for people to assume that everyone has children, because, if they don't, they are then excluded in the group discussion? I can't share my child's graduation story, broken bones, etc. -- CHILD-FREE IN MICHIGAN

DEAR CHILD-FREE: Not everyone has kids. It's a fact. Rather than rude, the questioners are thoughtless. A way to deal with the question would be to say, "My wife and I are child-free."