DEAR ABBY: My husband and I are in our 50s. For several months, I have been struggling with an issue I have with my mom. She constantly asks me how much my annual income is and how much my husband makes. In the 20-plus years we have been married, we have never asked to borrow money from my parents (or anyone, for that matter). We have always worked hard and managed our finances to ensure the needs of our family are met.

Dad is gone now, and for some reason, Mom has become overly invested in knowing our finances. She says she wants to be close to me, but that involves sharing what I deem to be something private between my husband and me. I strongly feel this is none of her business. In order to shut her up (for lack of a better term), and because she will not accept that it's not for her to know, I give her a number I make up. Our financial status should not be what determines Mom's relationship with us.

Am I wrong to feel this is a private matter between my husband and me and none of her business? I feel Mom is crossing a line. I wonder if she asks close friends how much they and their husbands earn in a month in order to feel close to them. Your thoughts? -- IT'S MY BUSINESS

DEAR 'BUSINESS': My goodness, talk about emotional blackmail! You made a big mistake by lying to your mother about your financial status. I will assume that you have discussed the problem you are having with her with your husband. The next time she pressures you to give her private financial information, tell her this is a conversation she should have with you AND him. Then, when Mama says she needs to know about your financial situation, let him ask her why before assuring her that you are secure, and the rest is none of her business.

DEAR ABBY: A couple of days a week, when I have no plans and no place to go, I stay in my pajamas. They are comfy, and I figure why dirty clean clothes just to make more laundry and waste soap and water? Well, older people tell me I should dress every day. I don't see the problem. I shower regularly, wash my pajamas and other clothes, and keep my house and yard clean. I'm not lazy -- I just don't see the value in getting dressed for the sake of getting dressed. I really wish people would quit telling me how to live my life. What do you think? -- COMFORTABLE IN WISCONSIN

DEAR COMFORTABLE: My late mother used to say that when people look their best, it gives them confidence, which makes them feel better about themselves. She wasn't wrong. She also told me that if I didn't make the effort, invariably I would run into someone I wished I had looked better for. (Alas, also true.) This may be the message these folks are trying to communicate. However, because you are comfortable wearing pajamas at home a couple days a week, you'll get no argument from me.

DEAR ABBY: Recently, my neighbor, who has always been eccentric, has embarked on an unusual gardening project. Instead of traditional plants, he's turned his backyard into a sprawling sanctuary for rescued wild animals. At first, it seemed harmless, but the situation has escalated. His yard now attracts wildlife, including raccoons, skunks and even the occasional coyote. While I appreciate his intent, I'm worried about safety -- especially for my two small children and our dog, who are terrified when they encounter these creatures.

If that isn't enough, my beloved pet cat has developed strange behaviors. She's been staring intently at the wall, as if she senses something I can't see. This may seem silly, but it unsettles me, especially since I've read articles about pets reacting to shifts in their environment. My mother says I'm overreacting to the neighbor's project and should just let things be, which only deepens my anxiety.

Should I confront my neighbor about the animal situation, or let it go? Am I overreacting about my cat's behavior? I worry that others will think I'm losing my grip on reality. How can I find a balance between addressing these concerns and maintaining peace in my neighborhood and family? -- OVERWHELMED IN OHIO

DEAR OVERWHELMED: Your mother may think you are overreacting, but how do the other neighbors feel about this? Are they troubled as well? Is what this neighbor is doing legal in your community? In some communities, there are ordinances against feeding wild animals, let alone "collecting" them. Go online and start doing some research. If your increased level of anxiety persists, ask your doctor to refer you to a mental health professional to help you deal with it.

DEAR ABBY: I have been with my girlfriend, "Ivy," for eight years. We see each other mainly on the weekends, as she lives and works out of town. She says she is tied down to her house and daughter and can't move here, even though she works only three days a week.

A few years ago, Ivy's ex-husband moved back in with her as he transferred jobs. She knows I'm not happy about it and that I want her to spend more time with me, but she says she needs to coddle her daughter and take care of the dog. She rarely initiates anything, and I'm tired of being the one to do the extra things for our relationship.

I want to break up and move on, but she has ingratiated herself with my family, and this would make it difficult. She knows all my issues with her, but she either can't or won't make the change. -- WEEKENDS-ONLY IN CALIFORNIA

DEAR WEEKENDS-ONLY: You stated that the ex-husband moved back in with your girlfriend a few years ago!? They have reconciled! Ivy has shown you where her priorities lie, and you are not high on that list. By all means, move on, and tell your family why. It will be up to them to decide whether they want to maintain a relationship with her once they see the entire picture.

DEAR ABBY: I have a female friend, "Kylene," who needs yard work done weekly. My fiance, "Josh," goes over there to do the work for her. He charges $60. During the last two weeks, she has been popping up at our home uninvited. Kylene knows Josh's work schedule and makes sure she sees him daily at the neighborhood bar around 4 in the afternoon. The other day, I went to the bar with Josh, and lo and behold, she was there waiting for him. I was pretty upset, because I don't see my Josh very much due to his tight work schedule.

Do you think she is stalking my fiance? Kylene hardly talks to me when we are all together. She talks mostly to Josh. I have always believed that you don't mix business with pleasure. I think she's stalking him. Kylene doesn't have any friends, and I think she's jealous of me. What do you think? -- SUSPICIOUS IN INDIANA

DEAR SUSPICIOUS: I think that rather than stalking Josh, Kylene is "chasing" him. How does Josh feel about it? Is he flattered? Is he attracted to her? Have you discussed the fact that her dropping by your home unannounced is inappropriate? I agree that your "friend" may be jealous of you, but the person who should put a stop to what has been going on is Josh, not you.

DEAR ABBY: My husband was let go from his job due to restructuring. He's understandably upset, and I see him sink further into depression with every rejection letter he receives for the positions he has applied for. How can I help him? -- SUPPORTIVE WIFE IN OHIO

DEAR WIFE: Help your husband by not pressuring him during this difficult time. If he hasn't yet applied for unemployment benefits, remind him he is entitled to them. Suggest that if there are no openings in his field, he should consider using his skills to do something different and perhaps contact a temporary employment agency. Let him know you are a willing listener, but do not pump him for information. If no job turns up for him in the next six months (and if you are not already employed), consider finding a job to relieve the financial pressure.

DEAR ABBY: I have worked with the same six women and three men for 19 years. Each time one has a birthday, we have a small office party with lunch, cake and ice cream, and a gift in the $50 range, and the birthday person gets the remainder of the day off. This is done for everyone except me.

Although it hurts my feelings, I've never said anything about being excluded, and no one seems to have noticed the omission. I did inquire (twice) if anyone had dined at a restaurant my husband will be taking me to for my birthday, but no one picked up my hint that I'm also a part of the staff. Should I politely continue celebrating other people's special days or proclaim, "Hey! I'm here, too!" -- INVISIBLE CO-WORKER

DEAR INVISIBLE: As the saying goes, "The squeaky wheel gets the grease." Could you have inadvertently been omitted from a list of employee birthdays? By all means, speak up before it's time for you to retire.