DEAR ABBY: About eight months ago, I stumbled on my husband watching online porn. He admitted to habitual use but said it was just a stress reliever and he would stop viewing it. Meanwhile, I am plagued by feelings of not being enough for him, mainly before or during sex but also at random times of the day and night.

I am a small-breasted woman, and I can't stop thinking that he has seen beautiful bodies that are much more of a turn-on than mine. I am ashamed of how I look and no longer want him to see me naked. This was never a problem before, but now it's a constant feeling of inadequacy. I'm also not sure he has stopped, but I realize there's no way for me to know that, so I'm struggling with trust.

Is there anything I can do to stop thinking about this and build back some self-confidence? -- CAN'T COMPARE IN THE SOUTH

DEAR CAN'T COMPARE: You need to understand something. Men are turned on by the visual. Millions of them watch porn for pleasure. This is a fact. Your husband's viewing doesn't mean there is anything wrong with you. You are the woman he married, and until you "stumbled upon him" watching porn, everything was fine.

As I reread your letter, I was struck by your lack of self-esteem. The surest way to stop obsessing about this and rebuild your self-confidence would be to ask your doctor to refer you to a psychologist who can help you regain your perspective.

DEAR ABBY: After a recent gathering for my granddaughter's graduation, I am feeling depressed and upset. Unflattering pictures of me were taken during the event and later posted on social media. I wasn't asked, and I think it was done maliciously by the grandmother on the other side. She posted no candid pictures of herself, only ones that were planned and staged.

I don't feel I can ask that they be taken down without causing a rift. I did post a suggestion on the site about privacy and pictures. That grandma has read my message but hasn't taken the hint to remove them. This has led to unpleasant memories of an otherwise memorable and happy event. Why don't people realize that no-longer-young individuals don't want terrible pictures splashed all over the internet? -- EMBARRASSED IN NORTH CAROLINA

DEAR EMBARRASSED: Your granddaughter's graduation was all about her and her accomplishment. It wasn't a "Mirror, mirror on the wall" contest of which grandmother is the fairer. Try to focus more closely on the spirit of the occasion and less on any unfortunate picture that was posted later. If you do, you may see the humor in this. You wrote that older people don't want terrible pictures splashed all over the internet. News flash: Younger people like it even less. Laugh and the world laughs with you. And toss the sour grapes into the garbage.

DEAR ABBY: I'm struggling with something that feels both silly and painful. I've developed intense feelings (maybe even "limerence") for a man I know, and no matter how hard I try, no one else seems to compare. I have tried dating apps, looking at younger guys, older guys, conventionally attractive guys. Nothing clicks. I keep thinking, why can't I just lower my standards? Or, why can't I find others attractive when I know logically this person isn't the only man on Earth?

Am I broken? Am I too fixated on a type? Am I missing out on good people just because they don't give me butterflies? I know I can't (and maybe shouldn't) wait around for this one guy, but opening myself up to others feels impossible when they all feel so "meh" or even repulsive in comparison. How can I break out of this mental trap? I'm 30, so I feel I need to figure this all out. -- STUCK IN MY HEAD AND HEART

DEAR STUCK: The kind of intense attraction you feel for this man does not necessarily lead to a lasting relationship. Not once in your letter did you mention that he has indicated he has feelings for you, or even knows who you are.

At the age of 30, you are a little old to be waiting around for someone who may never come around. A way to break out of what you call the "mental trap" would be to start concentrating on other things and live your life. Put the fantasy of romance aside for a while, and you may meet some wonderful people and form relationships that are reciprocal.

DEAR ABBY: My sister is struggling with severe mental health issues, and so is her live-in boyfriend of 6 1/2 years. She thinks everyone she's ever had contact with was involved in human trafficking her throughout her childhood. Abby, we grew up safe and privileged on a farm, but my sister had some severe trauma starting in our late teen years. We are now in our mid-40s. She refuses treatment and thinks there is nothing wrong with her.

Everyone in our family except for our mom has distanced themselves from her, including her three adult children. We all love her, but if we try to help, she creates destructive delusions regarding our lives, too. She's always been a handful but has gone downhill since she has been with her boyfriend.

Neither one of them can work, and she is trying to get on disability. He already is. They barely get by. Abby, what can we do to help? It is painful to see her this way when medicine could help, but she refuses. -- LOSING HOPE IN ILLINOIS

DEAR LOSING HOPE: Medicine might help, if your sister were willing to accept that kind of intervention. Because she isn't, and she and her boyfriend are barely getting by, it might be wise to seek the help of a social worker. If there is a department of mental health in your sister's county, consider contacting someone there and asking for help with this problem.

DEAR ABBY: I felt compelled to write to you after reading the "plight" of the parents of the bride of "Ruined Wedding in New York" (April 23). As someone who's worked in the hospitality field for more than 30 years, I have seen my share of bridezillas and in-laws who behave badly because they blindly believe that all of their wishes and demands should be met (at any cost) on the special day.

One of the very few things I miss about the days of COVID-imposed "micro-weddings" was how JOYFUL couples and attendees were -- because those few who attended were the ones who truly mattered. Everyone was fully appreciative of the true nature of the occasion.

"Ruined's" parents should feel grateful and honored that they raised a successful, independent young woman of integrity who realizes what is of primary importance -- not the gifts, the pageantry, the spending of massive amounts of money -- but celebrating this momentous occasion with those who matter most to them and in a meaningful way. Her parents should apologize for how they have handled this and be thankful if they're still welcome to attend or participate in any way. -- LYNN R. IN CALIFORNIA

DEAR LYNN: One hundred percent of the readers who responded to the letter from "Ruined Wedding in New York" agree with us. Your letter put it most succinctly. Weddings belong to the bride and groom, not their parents. Things will turn out better for everyone involved if parents pay attention to what you wrote.

DEAR ABBY: I recently went on vacation and had my cat sitter come by twice a day as she has for the past five years when I travel. For the first time, I also asked a fairly new acquaintance I had met in a reputable spiritual center, and with whom I clicked quickly, to come by to water my plants and garden. I gave each a key. Some precious and costly jewelry has gone missing. These were the only people in my home.

I don't make friends easily, which makes it more painful since I figure my only option is to cut them both completely out of my life, no questions asked, because what could they say? So I will never know and lose two key people. I guess my question is, is there any other way I can get my mind around (or over) this betrayal than to cut them both from my life without a word? -- VICTIM IN FLORIDA

DEAR VICTIM: You state that during the five years your cat sitter came by twice a day while you were traveling, nothing was missing. Now that you have given a key to "a fairly new acquaintance," precious and costly jewelry has gone missing. I see no reason to cut both of these people out of your life, but I do think it would be a good idea to change your locks and find someone else to water your plants. Perhaps the cat sitter would be willing?

P.S. Have you made a police report about the missing jewelry? If you haven't, you should.