DEAR ABBY: I am a 50-year-old single mom who is extremely close with my 20-year-old daughter, who is away at college. I haven't dated for 12 years, partly because I did not want distractions from parenting.

Recently, a young man has contacted me for a casual relationship. These are my issues: He's 21. My daughter would be disgusted, and I could never tell her. Six years ago, he was a student of mine. (I teach high school.) Nothing inappropriate happened when he was a student. In fact, he had such a rude attitude that I once met with his mother. I know this could never go anywhere, but I don't want anything to go anywhere.

At this point in my life, I would like to date casually. He lives several hours away so we would see each other only occasionally. I'm trying to decide whether my reluctance is justified and I should decline, or if I'm taking societal ideals too personally and I should have some fun but keep this secret from my daughter. -- UNCERTAIN IN CALIFORNIA

DEAR UNCERTAIN: Put the brakes on this while you still can and look for someone older to play with. Your daughter may be a college student, but she's no longer a child. Secrets like the one you are considering have a way of eventually coming out. Please think this through before jumping into anything that could cause you or your daughter potential embarrassment.

DEAR ABBY: My baby boy died unexpectedly, and for a long time, I was completely lost. I cried all the time. I couldn't stand to be around anyone or leave the house. With time and counseling, I'm starting to emerge again, but it's really hard.

One problem is, when I run into someone I haven't seen in a while, they ask how I am. They go on to say how sorry they were to hear about my son's passing, and then they want to tell me about someone they lost. I can't have this conversation without bursting into tears, sometimes sobbing hysterically. The outing is then ruined, and I have to go home again.

How can I get people to not do this? I know they are trying to be caring, but I can't function if I have to keep having this conversation over and over. -- JUST OUT FOR GROCERIES

DEAR JUST OUT: Please accept my sympathy for the loss of your precious baby boy. When people ask how you are doing, tell them you are "doing well under the circumstances and don't wish to discuss it further." Period! Change the subject and, if necessary, walk away.

For some unknown reason, when someone has lost a loved one, others feel it is "comforting" for the bereaved to know about similar cases. THIS IS NOT TRUE! When people have suffered a loss, they are only irritated by well-meaning friends who say, "I know exactly what you are going through. I experienced something similar."

Folks, when comforting the grieving, comparisons should be avoided.

DEAR ABBY: I have been incarcerated for 21 months. I stay in contact with my immediate family, except for my brother. I suspect that he slept with my girlfriend a couple of weeks before I came to prison, although I'm not 100% sure. He tells our family members that it isn't true and that he wants me to reach out. But I don't know if I can until I'm completely sure he didn't do it. Do you have any advice? -- LOCKED UP IN DELAWARE

DEAR LOCKED UP: You are locked away with little but your suspicions to keep you company. Under these circumstances, I can see how they might grow. Why do you think your brother did this? What "vibes" did you pick up on before you left? If you really think your girlfriend would do something like this, why do you still consider her your girlfriend? If she was unfaithful before you were incarcerated, what makes you think she is any different now?

You have no proof that either of them did anything. You should definitely talk to your brother and your girlfriend about your suspicions. If you do, perhaps they can put them to rest.

DEAR ABBY: I enjoy keeping up with family and friends on Facebook, but I have two uncles whose political posts have become increasingly extreme. Their messages are filled with anger and hate. I hoped things would calm down after the election, but their rhetoric has intensified.

I have unfriended others who shared similar views, but I am hesitant to do the same with family. I've tried "snoozing" them for 30 days at a time, but when they return, the posts are even more upsetting. I'm deeply offended by some of what they write. Is it OK to unfriend family? And, if they notice and confront me, how should I respond? -- DIFFERENT IN TEXAS

DEAR DIFFERENT: You are not obligated to read anything that upsets you. This includes items posted by relatives. You can simply unfollow them without unfriending them. But Facebook does not notify anyone that they have been unfriended, so feel free to eliminate them from your feed if you'd like. If, by chance, they should confront you about it, be honest about your reason without being combative.

DEAR ABBY: I am getting married in six months and hosting a relatively small wedding (80 guests). My fiance and I recently received a save-the-date for a college friend's wedding. It's set to take place two weeks after ours. We will be on our honeymoon at that time and unable to attend.

We were not originally planning to invite this couple to our wedding but now feel that we must invite them in order to explain that we'll be on our honeymoon during theirs. We did not send them a save-the-date card. What is the best way to approach this? We have limited space and budget, so adding two people is not easy. -- OTHERWISE ENGAGED IN NEW YORK

DEAR OTHERWISE ENGAGED: You are not obligated to invite this couple to your wedding. Write them a sweet note explaining that you are sorry you won't be able to attend because you will be on your honeymoon at that time. That's all you have to do. However, it would be nice if you sent them a small gift to be delivered at the time of their wedding along with warm wishes that they enjoy a lifetime of happiness together.

DEAR ABBY: I recently reconnected with a woman I dated briefly in the 1980s and haven't seen since. She's around my age. We both were married one year apart, had daughters one year apart, and got divorced after 20-year marriages. She spotted me on a social media site and suggested I call her to "catch up on things," which I did.

This led to an invitation to meet for a bite to eat and more talk, which I gladly accepted. We live two hours apart, and I drove to her home to meet her. We had a great day and evening, and, as I was leaving, I gave her a hug and kiss on the cheek, whereupon she planted one on me. I wasn't expecting it, but it was awesome! I felt like a school kid with a crush. I had forgotten that feelings like this were even possible.

We have spent every weekend together since that meeting last month. I have a special place in my heart for her, even from so long ago. My problem: I said the "L-word" way too soon. I needed to rectify my misstep and explained it was intended to represent "caring and affection," as opposed to being romantically "in love" with her, which, for me, is an ongoing, more protracted process (most of the time).

I told her I have no expectation of her reciprocating, and I just wanted her to know that I care for her and always have. I know some women (and maybe men) shudder at hearing these words too soon in a relationship; she may be one of them. Anything else I can do to lessen her trepidation as we progress? Is there any recommended time frame for appropriately professing one's romantic love? -- FORMER EX IN TEXAS

DEAR FORMER EX: I wish you had mentioned how this woman reacted when the word "love" escaped your lips. Did she smile? Cringe? Remain silent? There is no timetable for expressing love. The time to use the word is when one feels it. Sometimes the feeling lasts; sometimes it doesn't. From now on, take your cues from her. If what you said made her uncomfortable, you would already know. Let your relationship progress at its own rate and resist the urge to force it.

DEAR ABBY: I live with a man I admire very much. We bought our first home when we were 23. We had two children together and also raised my sister. We both work and want for nothing.

The problem? He's an alcoholic. He never gets loud or mean; he just quietly goes to sleep. From the outside, he looks like the greatest guy. But Abby, I am so lonely that I cry sometimes. He's asleep by 2 or 3 p.m. on the weekends. We hardly ever go out. We are both 57, all the kids have moved out and we should be having fun. I want to travel, dance and hike. He's happy getting drunk in the garage. Help! -- LONESOME OUT WEST

DEAR LONESOME: Have you talked with him to see which issues have driven him to live this way? Nowhere in your letter did you indicate that you are actually married to this man. Life isn't a dress rehearsal, and you have paid your dues. If your dream is to dance and hike, get out there and do it.

Because "Rip Van Winkle" is passed out, it won't be like you're neglecting him, and he won't miss you. Because you want to travel, arrange to do it with friends. And, since you didn't indicate that you're planning to end your relationship, consider attending Al-Anon meetings (al-anon.org/info) so you can find support and the strength to begin living your life the way you want, which is what he has been doing.