DEAR ABBY: A few years ago, I became acquainted with a Catholic priest after he hired me to give him conversation lessons. (He was visiting from another country; English is not his first language.) We hit it off and found we had a lot in common. After the lessons ended, we stayed in touch.

Not long after that, he returned to his home country. Since then, we have emailed and texted regularly, and video-chatted over the holidays. I love my friendship with him, and he seems to feel the same way.

To be honest, though, I have a bit of a crush on him. I was hoping it would fade, but it hasn't. I feel somewhat guilty about it and wonder if I am being dishonest by not telling him. Should I say something and risk having the friendship (which I really enjoy) end? Or is it OK to keep these kinds of secrets? -- CRUSHING ON THE COAST

DEAR CRUSHING: As long as your "bit of a crush" doesn't have a negative impact on the rest of your life, I see no reason to burden the priest with this secret. However, if it causes a disruption in the relationships you have (i.e., with a husband or boyfriend), then speak up and be prepared for the relationship to slow down, if not end.

DEAR ABBY: I am recently divorced after a 37-year marriage. My boyfriend, "Grant," has been divorced for a long time. He is a lovely man -- honest, intelligent, healthy, helpful, neat and a great communicator. Our physical relationship is wonderful, too.

My problem? Grant has two small dogs that sleep in bed with him. They have since they were puppies. They are 11 and 13 years old now. I have a large dog that sleeps in his bed on the floor and is not allowed on any furniture. He doesn't shed. The dogs all get along fine.

I slept in Grant's bed once when his dogs were at the kennel and was grossed out by the dog hair on the sheets, comforter, etc., even after the sheets had been washed. Having dogs in the bed would disrupt my sleep, so if I spend the night, I sleep in Grant's guest room. (He doesn't think it's fair to disrupt his "kids'" sleeping arrangements after all these years.) I'd much rather fall asleep and wake up next to him, but this happens only on vacations away from home.

I'm tired of sleeping apart but don't feel like giving any ultimatums. Is he right to not want to disrupt the dogs' sleeping habits to accommodate me once or twice a week? -- SLEEPING SOLO IN OREGON

DEAR SLEEPING SOLO: I think your boyfriend is right. Because Grant has habituated his dogs to sleeping in his bed (not to mention that the bed is filthy), I don't think it would be practical to disrupt them at this stage of their lives. On the nights you're at his place, it might make more sense for Grant to spend the night in the guest room with you until his sleeping buddies cross the rainbow bridge.

DEAR ABBY: My best friend "Carla" and I haven't spoken for several years, which breaks my heart. Her son was getting married. The dress was evening cocktail attire. The venue was an hour and a half from where I live. I don't drive. At the time, I was having financial difficulties and was worried about the attire and transportation to the venue.

I advised Carla that I had no way to get to the wedding and to Uber to the venue would cost well over $200. I was hoping I could ride with her. The family had rooms at the hotel where the wedding was being held. I was hoping she'd offer that I could go with her and stay the night with her at the hotel. She didn't offer, so I wasn't able to attend.

Carla didn't return my calls and hasn't spoken to me since. We were close friends for 25 years. She has since moved out of state. I miss her terribly. After all this time, would it be wrong to contact her again, or should I just let it go? I have been upset about the situation for years. I'd love your opinion. -- MISSING MY FRIEND IN CALIFORNIA

DEAR MISSING: Weddings can be complicated affairs, and it's likely that Carla was stressed and distracted because of the number of guests and all the activities related to the wedding at the hotel. To have expected her to provide you with transportation and share her room with you may have been regarded as presumptuous.

If you would like to hear her side of this and gain some closure, by all means, reach out. But because you are now so geographically distant, do not expect to resurrect the relationship you had with her.

DEAR ABBY: I have been married for 44 years, and we have a married son and one grandson. My husband and I moved closer to our son and daughter-in-law five years ago. Once or twice a year, my husband reminds me that I "ruined his life" by forcing him to move closer to our grandson. On top of that, he dislikes our son's mother-in-law, something he has made clear to me. He doesn't want to attend holiday dinners if the mother-in-law is there. (Fortunately, our daughter-in-law is not aware that he dislikes her mother.)

I'm tired of worrying about whether he'll attend our grandson's sports activities or events if the other grandmother is there. At this point, I'm actually considering divorce so I won't be so miserable. Any advice would be appreciated. -- FATIGUED IN FLORIDA

DEAR FATIGUED: Unless you hogtied your husband, he must have agreed to move closer to your son and his family. Is the only reason he's miserable this dislike of his DIL's mother, or is it that he is separated from his friends? If it's the former, go without your husband to your grandson's events and let him stay home. If it's more than that, perhaps it might be better for him to return to the community in which he was more comfortable.

DEAR ABBY: What do you say when going to visit a not-so-close relative who is dying? I have an aunt who has been diagnosed with late-stage cancer and has recently gone on hospice. She may have one to four months to live. I used to spend time around her during family functions when I was younger, but I haven't seen her in at least a decade now, although we live in the same town.

I'm good at making small talk under normal circumstances and I know how to write nice cards for birthdays and such, but what do you say to someone who's dying whom you haven't talked to in a long time? You can't ask, "How have you been?" or treat them like it's the last time you'll see them (even if it may be). I'd like to visit her before she passes, but I am at a loss for words. Please help. -- CLUELESS NEPHEW IN IDAHO

DEAR NEPHEW: Much depends upon the condition your relative is in when you visit. Keep in mind, she may have some things she would like to say to you. That said, some things you might convey:

"Thank you for seeing me. I know it has been some time since we've seen each other, but I wanted to come and tell you how much I always enjoyed and appreciated the time we spent together at all those family functions. Thank you for that. I won't stay long because I don't want you to waste your energy, but you need to know that I love you and always will."

Understand that your presence there is as important as anything you might say to her. Remember that if you get stuck for words.

DEAR ABBY: I've been with my husband for 40 years. As in all marriages, we've had our ups and downs, but recently I can hardly stand to be around him. He has been scammed a couple of times, and he gets furious when I try to warn him they are scams. We have separate bank accounts, and I have made him start giving me the money for his share of the household bills when he gets paid so he doesn't blow it. Now if I ask him where he spends his money, he ignores me.

Last night, he asked me what I had bought from a specific place. I asked him why I needed to tell him because he doesn't tell me where he spends money. He said, "Because you're my wife, and I love you." When I asked why the opposite doesn't seem to apply, he, of course, said nothing.

Later, he asked if I was mad, and I told him I'm more hurt than mad. He didn't say anything the rest of the night and today he acts like every other day (which means very little interaction). I don't know what to do anymore. Do you have any advice? -- FRUSTRATED WIFE IN IOWA

DEAR WIFE: You bet I do. If ever I've heard about a couple who needs marriage counseling, it's the two of you. Marriage and family therapists hear about this sort of thing often. Ask your doctor to refer you to someone licensed and qualified to help you and your husband over this rough patch.

DEAR READERS: Along with the millions of Americans who are observing this Memorial Day, I add my own prayer of thanks for those courageous men and women who have sacrificed their lives in service to our country. May they rest in peace. -- LOVE, ABBY