DEAR ABBY: For holidays and special occasions, we usually have eight people at a six-place dining room table. Two of our guests are "orphans," who were invited by my better half. The problem is, the man, "George," is a chain-smoker, and I almost always get a splitting headache in his presence.

I can hold my breath for the 10 seconds or so when George and I hug hello, but what do you suggest I say or do at the dinner table? I will be at the farthest end possible, but I'll still be just a few feet away from the problem. Uninviting them is not an option. -- SMOKED OUT IN CALIFORNIA

DEAR SMOKED OUT: Lucky you. You live in California where it's possible to open windows and get cross ventilation. Because it isn't possible to uninvite these guests, give your dining room as much fresh air as possible and insist that if your guests "must" smoke, they do it outside and far from the open windows.

DEAR ABBY: My best friend of 45 years and I are 65. She has been married since 1985; I have been divorced for many years. She recently shocked me by claiming that a mutual friend told her I have been having an affair with a married acquaintance! This is false, but I now wonder whether she said it because she suspects it herself.

When I got angry and said I would confront the other friend, she demanded that I not do so, because it would "make her look bad for telling." Could my suspicion be correct? If the other person was the one who actually suspected me, why wouldn't she want me to question her? -- PUZZLED LADY OUT WEST

DEAR PUZZLED LADY: Not knowing your best friend of 45 years, I am not in a position to answer that question. However, the surest way to get to the bottom of this would be to go directly to the person your BFF said told her and ask where she got such an idea.

DEAR ABBY: My daughter is being married in a few weeks and is insisting I sit with her father at the ceremony. Abby, we have been divorced for 20 years. I have been remarried for 12. Her father has not remarried.

My husband has not tried to replace her father, and I think it's rude that he would be expected to sit with the guests instead of with me, his wife. I was forced to do this at my other daughter's wedding a few months ago, and it was very uncomfortable. I want to look forward to my daughter's day. What is your take on this? -- MUSICAL CHAIRS IN PENNSYLVANIA

DEAR MUSICAL CHAIRS: You shouldn't have agreed to that seating arrangement at your other daughter's wedding, and you shouldn't do it at this one. Your husband belongs next to you. If you and your ex are friendly, your ex could sit on the opposite side of you from your husband. If you're not, he could sit at the end of the row on the aisle. But your husband should not be forced to sit "with the other guests" because he is more than a guest, he is a family member.

DEAR ABBY: I'm a 23-year-old college student struggling to find direction in life. I've been trying to find a part-time job and an internship, but I have had no success. This leaves me increasingly anxious, especially as my parents, who currently help me with tuition and rent, are getting older and can't continue working much longer.

Adding to my stress, my chosen field is considered unique in my culture, where people are often stereotyped into specific roles. This makes it harder for me to find opportunities or build connections. On top of that, I'm adjusting to a new culture that's the opposite of what I'm used to. It's my first time navigating such an environment, and I often feel left out or that I don't fully understand certain things.

I'm afraid to bring this up with my parents, as it's common in my culture for parents to provide for their children. I feel like I'm falling behind. Feeling confused and misunderstood, my mind is at a crossroads, which adds to my anxiety. How can I start to find clarity and confidence in my situation? -- A BIT LOST IN COLORADO

DEAR A BIT LOST: Many students find it difficult to adjust to college life. The fact that you come from another culture only adds to that. Try reaching out to the dean of your department or talking to an adviser in the student counseling services to find the help you're looking for. If there are other students from your culture, they may also be able to help by explaining things to you. Do these things, and you may find out that you are not as lost as you fear you are.

DEAR ABBY: When I was still working, I decided not to tell anyone about the second home we purchased in 2018 as a weekend getaway. I kept my mouth shut because I didn't want my boss to think I was rich and perhaps not give me a raise.

I recently retired and keep in touch with many former colleagues. I feel bad that I never told them and continue not to share with them where I go with my husband on weekends. Should I fess up? If I tell them now, do I tell them I didn't trust that they wouldn't share the news with my boss? Although I didn't lie, I feel guilty for not sharing with them. What is your advice? -- NERVOUS IN NEW JERSEY

DEAR NERVOUS: How relevant would this information be to your former co-workers? You are entitled to a private life, and it isn't necessary to reveal what financial assets you have to anyone beyond your accountant and your attorney. (And, of course, the IRS if they ask.) Stop flogging yourself over something that is nobody's beeswax. If you allude to the fact that you and your husband spent the weekend away from your primary dwelling, who is to know it wasn't purchased after your retirement?

DEAR ABBY: I recently turned 30, and I find myself in kind of a "My Big Fat Greek Wedding" situation, specifically the scene where Toula's father has invited several Greek men to dinner to try to persuade her to marry one of them. I told my father I am not interested in dating, but he and his boss keep telling me about single Romanian men in their 30s, and Dad wants me to "get married and make babies." How do I politely tell him I am happier and healthier as a single woman, as opposed to being married and a mother when I know FOR SURE I don't want to be one?

For the last 10 years, I have helped out with my twin nephews. I am their main babysitter/nanny. I try to answer my nephews' questions about life within their parents' worldviews, and I clean both my brother's and my nephews' mother's apartments. My decision to remain single and childless hasn't been decided lightly. How can I politely tell my father that I do not want to date anyone, even if some of them are very nice guys? -- ROMANIAN CAT LADY

DEAR LADY: At the age of 30, you should be able to make up your own mind about what you would like your future to be, without arm-twisting or "help" from your father. How about telling him in plain English (or Romanian) exactly what you have told me? From where I sit, for the last 10 years you have been subjected to an extra-large dose of parenting and housekeeping. If that "taste" isn't for you, speak up and say so.

You didn't mention what your living situation is, but if you are still living under your parents' roof, recognize it's time to establish your independence and move out on your own.

DEAR ABBY: A family member moved here from out of state for work and is staying with us. Unfortunately, a few weeks after their big move, my spouse had a stroke. He is now home from the hospital. We had already offered this family member free room and board to help with the transition to their new job, but I never dreamed a medical emergency would happen.

I want to enjoy my life with my spouse in private without houseguest stress. I would like the family member to sell their old home and get an apartment or buy another home close to their new job soon. Any suggestions on how to speed up the move without causing tension in the family? How do I set a move-out deadline? -- SEEKING A SOLUTION IN THE WEST

DEAR SEEKING: Because of the change in your spouse's health status, your desire for privacy is understandable. Have a talk with your family member. Explain that circumstances have changed since you issued the invitation to stay with you, and ask whether this person's job is supposed to be a permanent one. If it is permanent rather than temporary, it wouldn't be nervy to recommend selling their house to buy one nearby.

If it isn't permanent, then renting an apartment would make sense. Offer to help your relative find one. The conversation needn't be confrontational and shouldn't cause tension. The two of you should be able to agree on a deadline to move.