DEAR ABBY: When I was still working, I decided not to tell anyone about the second home we purchased in 2018 as a weekend getaway. I kept my mouth shut because I didn't want my boss to think I was rich and perhaps not give me a raise.

I recently retired and keep in touch with many former colleagues. I feel bad that I never told them and continue not to share with them where I go with my husband on weekends. Should I fess up? If I tell them now, do I tell them I didn't trust that they wouldn't share the news with my boss? Although I didn't lie, I feel guilty for not sharing with them. What is your advice? -- NERVOUS IN NEW JERSEY

DEAR NERVOUS: How relevant would this information be to your former co-workers? You are entitled to a private life, and it isn't necessary to reveal what financial assets you have to anyone beyond your accountant and your attorney. (And, of course, the IRS if they ask.) Stop flogging yourself over something that is nobody's beeswax. If you allude to the fact that you and your husband spent the weekend away from your primary dwelling, who is to know it wasn't purchased after your retirement?

DEAR ABBY: I'm a 23-year-old college student struggling to find direction in life. I've been trying to find a part-time job and an internship, but I have had no success. This leaves me increasingly anxious, especially as my parents, who currently help me with tuition and rent, are getting older and can't continue working much longer.

Adding to my stress, my chosen field is considered unique in my culture, where people are often stereotyped into specific roles. This makes it harder for me to find opportunities or build connections. On top of that, I'm adjusting to a new culture that's the opposite of what I'm used to. It's my first time navigating such an environment, and I often feel left out or that I don't fully understand certain things.

I'm afraid to bring this up with my parents, as it's common in my culture for parents to provide for their children. I feel like I'm falling behind. Feeling confused and misunderstood, my mind is at a crossroads, which adds to my anxiety. How can I start to find clarity and confidence in my situation? -- A BIT LOST IN COLORADO

DEAR A BIT LOST: Many students find it difficult to adjust to college life. The fact that you come from another culture only adds to that. Try reaching out to the dean of your department or talking to an adviser in the student counseling services to find the help you're looking for. If there are other students from your culture, they may also be able to help by explaining things to you. Do these things, and you may find out that you are not as lost as you fear you are.

DEAR ABBY: I recently turned 30, and I find myself in kind of a "My Big Fat Greek Wedding" situation, specifically the scene where Toula's father has invited several Greek men to dinner to try to persuade her to marry one of them. I told my father I am not interested in dating, but he and his boss keep telling me about single Romanian men in their 30s, and Dad wants me to "get married and make babies." How do I politely tell him I am happier and healthier as a single woman, as opposed to being married and a mother when I know FOR SURE I don't want to be one?

For the last 10 years, I have helped out with my twin nephews. I am their main babysitter/nanny. I try to answer my nephews' questions about life within their parents' worldviews, and I clean both my brother's and my nephews' mother's apartments. My decision to remain single and childless hasn't been decided lightly. How can I politely tell my father that I do not want to date anyone, even if some of them are very nice guys? -- ROMANIAN CAT LADY

DEAR LADY: At the age of 30, you should be able to make up your own mind about what you would like your future to be, without arm-twisting or "help" from your father. How about telling him in plain English (or Romanian) exactly what you have told me? From where I sit, for the last 10 years you have been subjected to an extra-large dose of parenting and housekeeping. If that "taste" isn't for you, speak up and say so.

You didn't mention what your living situation is, but if you are still living under your parents' roof, recognize it's time to establish your independence and move out on your own.

DEAR ABBY: A family member moved here from out of state for work and is staying with us. Unfortunately, a few weeks after their big move, my spouse had a stroke. He is now home from the hospital. We had already offered this family member free room and board to help with the transition to their new job, but I never dreamed a medical emergency would happen.

I want to enjoy my life with my spouse in private without houseguest stress. I would like the family member to sell their old home and get an apartment or buy another home close to their new job soon. Any suggestions on how to speed up the move without causing tension in the family? How do I set a move-out deadline? -- SEEKING A SOLUTION IN THE WEST

DEAR SEEKING: Because of the change in your spouse's health status, your desire for privacy is understandable. Have a talk with your family member. Explain that circumstances have changed since you issued the invitation to stay with you, and ask whether this person's job is supposed to be a permanent one. If it is permanent rather than temporary, it wouldn't be nervy to recommend selling their house to buy one nearby.

If it isn't permanent, then renting an apartment would make sense. Offer to help your relative find one. The conversation needn't be confrontational and shouldn't cause tension. The two of you should be able to agree on a deadline to move.

DEAR ABBY: I've been divorced for 13 years and have been dating "Paul" for the last five years. Paul is kind, helps with things around the house and loves my friends and family. We share many common interests and enjoy being together. We are now considering moving to the next step: marriage. We already live together.

The problem is that Paul is not financially responsible. He helps pay the bills, and we alternate picking up the tab when we go out. I earn more than he does, which is no big deal, but I do not have retirement set up or great insurance. If we were married, it would help my insurance problems. The house and assets are in my name.

Part of the reason for my divorce was my ex's inability to manage money, which got us into a world of debt. I don't want to go through that again. I'd love to marry Paul but do not want to take on his financial debt. What's the right decision to make? -- STUCK ON THIS IN WISCONSIN

DEAR STUCK: The right thing for you to do would be to discuss this with an attorney who can help you figure out if you really want to be legally married to Paul. Marrying someone to get on his insurance is not the right way to go. Talking with an insurance agent about a program for which you might be eligible would be not only enlightening, but also advantageous.

DEAR ABBY: My friend "Buddy's" daughter is at an age between my two daughters' ages. She is 11; mine are 10 and 13. I've known Buddy since junior high, and our wives get along well. We live close to each other, and that's great, but their daughter "Edie" is a nightmare to have stay with us. She's mean, arrogant, disobedient and incredibly rude.

My wife and I love spending time with Buddy and his wife. Their younger daughter is 3 and adorable but also very spoiled. We don't want to jeopardize our friendship, but it's starting to wear on us to have Edie here without going off on them about her behavior. How can we bring this to their attention without it seeming like we're critiquing their parenting and upsetting them? -- FED UP IN ILLINOIS

DEAR FED UP: Is Edie mean, arrogant, disobedient and rude in the presence of her parents, or has she been invited to spend time with your girls separately? If it is the latter and you don't want Edie to negatively influence your girls by modeling bad behavior, explain to her that you have "certain rules" at your house and what they are. Make sure she knows that if she can't follow the rules she won't be invited again.

If Edie behaves this badly in her parents' presence, tell Buddy and his wife privately that although you value their friendship, you no longer want their daughter over there because you don't want her behavior to influence your own kids.