DEAR ABBY: We share a vacation home with another family. My husband and I are neat people. The other family is the opposite. They leave dirty dishes in the sink for days, promising, "I'll get to them." Dirty diapers are left on the living room floor as well as toys, clothes and stale food. It's disgusting.

My husband and I clean up after them, but it's gotten out of hand. We can't invite friends over unless we spend hours cleaning up after them. I don't want to cause tension between families, but something has to be done. How do we confront them? -- NEATNIK IN PENNSYLVANIA

DEAR NEATNIK: Dirty dishes are annoying. Dirty diapers left on the living room floor are a health hazard. You are not going to change these slobs. You didn't mention whether you rent or own this vacation home. If you own it, sell your half and get out of there. If you rent, reconsider your choice of getaways, because this is making your vacation anything but a vacation.

DEAR ABBY: I am a woman with several health issues. After a fall last year, I am now confined to a wheelchair and need assistance with everyday activities. My 36-year-old daughter lives with me (she broke up with her boyfriend). Now she is my home attendant.

My daughter feels that her two brothers should also help with my care. They both have jobs. I think that if she's living rent-free in my home and receiving a salary to take care of me, she shouldn't expect them to do more. They take me grocery shopping. She wants them to come over, throw out the trash and clean the cat litter box. Is she right? -- NEEDING HELP IN NEW YORK

DEAR NEEDING HELP: It is possible that your daughter is doing as much as she can in assisting you. Throwing out the trash and cleaning the cat litter box once a week would give your sons a chance to visit with you and, perhaps, give her an hour or so to do some things for herself. I don't think that's too much to ask.

DEAR ABBY: I am a 74-year-old woman, married 52 years, raising our 8-year-old great-granddaughter, whom we have adopted. Our lives are full of adventure and learning. I have the desire to earn a college degree and now have the opportunity and resources to do so. My husband is fully on board.

I would like to study special education. I have no idea if this would be a professional pursuit or simply gaining knowledge, as our child is a special needs child. Am I crazy to pursue this? My social life with friends may change because of the constraints of time and energy in study. -- FUTURE STUDENT IN IOWA

DEAR STUDENT: You appear to be fully aware of the sacrifices you will have to make to reach your goal. True friends will understand your absence, which is only temporary. I applaud your desire to complete your education in a field that will help your great-granddaughter to succeed, and I wish you luck in your endeavor.

DEAR ABBY: I was dating a man for the past two years. Most of the time, we enjoyed being together. However, sometimes our discussions would turn into heated and hurtful arguments. He would disregard my point of view, ultimately shut me down and make me feel like the disagreement was my fault.

After our most recent argument, I finally decided to end our relationship. I will admit that some of these arguments were alcohol-fueled, which would bring on an accusatory tone despite my attempts to clarify any statement or question I made.

When I think about how I allowed myself to be picked apart and beaten down by this individual, it brings on ambiguous feelings knowing the woman I am and could be. I also wonder how I allowed his behavior to become acceptable.

For the sake of my sanity, I decided to break away. But I fear I may once again do what I always have done to get back into his "good graces" -- apologize profusely only for us to repeat the cycle. I'm depressed and exhausted. I want to stay strong and not allow fleeting memories of past good times to cloud my decisions about this or any future relationships. How? -- FINALLY BREAKING FREE IN FLORIDA

DEAR FINALLY BREAKING: If alcohol changes the tone of your voice when you try to express yourself, start by doing something about your drinking. Effective ways to combat loneliness are staying busy with work and with friends, volunteering or taking up a new hobby. Equally important, before involving yourself in a new romantic relationship, make sure the person you're seeing treats you with more respect than the last one did.

DEAR ABBY: My mother, who is close to 85, has decided to dress like me. Every time she sees me, she tells me how "cute" I look, and asks where I got the top I'm wearing. The next time I see her, she's wearing the same top. It's gotten ridiculous. I have a black beach coverup that's made to look like it's crocheted or knitted. She went out and found herself one. Believe me, a woman who is 85 and seriously overweight should not be wearing this. What can I do about it? -- 'TWIN' IN THE SOUTH

DEAR 'TWIN': Have you told your mother this bothers you? If you haven't, you should. You should also offer to go shopping with her and help her find some "cute" things that will flatter her.

Years ago, a dress designer told me an expression: "She's mutton dressed as lamb." Your mother is deluded if she thinks wearing items identical to yours will make her look as youthful as you. However, if you tell her that, take it from me -- she'll be seriously offended. Lighten up. Let her continue on her own path, because you can't stop her and she's hurting no one.

DEAR ABBY: A close friend -- whom I've been urging for years to save for a rainy day -- is now facing a very real storm. She was diagnosed with breast cancer and is undergoing treatment. Knowing her financial situation -- living paycheck to paycheck despite her and her husband's high-paying jobs -- I felt compelled to help by setting up a GoFundMe.

I have been managing updates on her journey, but the truth is, she has always been impulsive with money -- spending bonus checks on gambling, cruises, fancy restaurants and vacations rather than building a safety net. Now, with this diagnosis, her past spending habits are coming back to haunt her. Many friends and family, knowing her history, are reluctant to donate.

It's heartbreaking to see her struggle, but in spite of her illness, she still indulges in these expensive habits despite needing to save every penny. I've tried talking to her, but she's in a fragile state physically and emotionally. I feel conflicted. On one hand, I want to support her through this difficult time; on the other, I can't condone her continued spending.

I'm now planning to distance myself from the GoFundMe, because it feels dishonest to beg for donations for someone who won't prioritize her own financial recovery. What do you think, Abby? How do I balance my friendship with my moral compass? -- SYMPATHIZING IN THE SOUTH

DEAR SYMPATHIZING: I think you should separate yourself from the GoFundMe project you started. As a good friend, you can continue supporting this woman emotionally, but you are not required to promote her getting money. If a recipient uses donated funds for a purpose other than what they are intended, it could be considered fraud.

DEAR ABBY: Our son, "Caleb," and his fiancee, "Lucy," are getting married next year. He is 26, and she is 24. Our last name is unusual and sounds like a dirty word when mispronounced, which it often is. After "a lot of thought," Caleb has decided to legally take Lucy's surname after their wedding. (She and her family are on board.) He was not asking his father's or my permission, but informing us of his plans.

Caleb is our only son. We also have a daughter. I support my son's decision, but his father does not. They no longer speak. My husband is also upset about future grandchildren carrying on a different family name. Abby, do you know of any men who have taken their wives' surnames? -- WANTS PEACE IN THE FAMILY

DEAR WANTS PEACE: You may want peace, but it isn't up to you to solve this dilemma. Changing one's name for the reason your son stated may be unusual, but it isn't unheard of. Some couples decide to blend their names, as one former mayor of Los Angeles did. While your husband may be disappointed about the path your son has chosen, the decision is not his to make.