DEAR ABBY: A close friend -- whom I've been urging for years to save for a rainy day -- is now facing a very real storm. She was diagnosed with breast cancer and is undergoing treatment. Knowing her financial situation -- living paycheck to paycheck despite her and her husband's high-paying jobs -- I felt compelled to help by setting up a GoFundMe.

I have been managing updates on her journey, but the truth is, she has always been impulsive with money -- spending bonus checks on gambling, cruises, fancy restaurants and vacations rather than building a safety net. Now, with this diagnosis, her past spending habits are coming back to haunt her. Many friends and family, knowing her history, are reluctant to donate.

It's heartbreaking to see her struggle, but in spite of her illness, she still indulges in these expensive habits despite needing to save every penny. I've tried talking to her, but she's in a fragile state physically and emotionally. I feel conflicted. On one hand, I want to support her through this difficult time; on the other, I can't condone her continued spending.

I'm now planning to distance myself from the GoFundMe, because it feels dishonest to beg for donations for someone who won't prioritize her own financial recovery. What do you think, Abby? How do I balance my friendship with my moral compass? -- SYMPATHIZING IN THE SOUTH

DEAR SYMPATHIZING: I think you should separate yourself from the GoFundMe project you started. As a good friend, you can continue supporting this woman emotionally, but you are not required to promote her getting money. If a recipient uses donated funds for a purpose other than what they are intended, it could be considered fraud.

DEAR ABBY: Our son, "Caleb," and his fiancee, "Lucy," are getting married next year. He is 26, and she is 24. Our last name is unusual and sounds like a dirty word when mispronounced, which it often is. After "a lot of thought," Caleb has decided to legally take Lucy's surname after their wedding. (She and her family are on board.) He was not asking his father's or my permission, but informing us of his plans.

Caleb is our only son. We also have a daughter. I support my son's decision, but his father does not. They no longer speak. My husband is also upset about future grandchildren carrying on a different family name. Abby, do you know of any men who have taken their wives' surnames? -- WANTS PEACE IN THE FAMILY

DEAR WANTS PEACE: You may want peace, but it isn't up to you to solve this dilemma. Changing one's name for the reason your son stated may be unusual, but it isn't unheard of. Some couples decide to blend their names, as one former mayor of Los Angeles did. While your husband may be disappointed about the path your son has chosen, the decision is not his to make.

DEAR ABBY: My husband has a female friend he grew up with. They have exchanged "happy birthday" texts for many years. However, they have recently begun texting more often. An example: One night he was mixing a drink and texted her about whether to use Pepsi or Coke.

On his birthday, I watched for her text and saw it had two heart emojis on either side of her message. This bothered me a great deal, and I told him his flirting via texting needed to stop. He says I'm being unreasonable and he is doing nothing wrong. This has caused a rift between us.

Abby, am I unreasonable? I did see a therapist who said my husband has an emotional relationship with this woman and I had every right to be upset. The therapist also said he should stop because I am his wife and he sees how much this upsets me. My husband's response? "Well, you told the therapist your side of the story." We have been married 18 years and together for 24. He is a good partner, and I do love him. What is your advice? -- SUSPICIOUS IN IOWA

DEAR SUSPICIOUS: Your husband had a point when he said your therapist has heard only one side of the story. You have been married to a "good partner" for 18 years and together for 24. If your husband hasn't shown signs of straying before, it's unlikely he's doing anything more than communicating with an old friend. Hearts included in a text message may seem effusive, but they aren't necessarily declarations of romantic love. Some joint sessions with an unbiased marriage and family therapist may help to calm your fears. I heartily recommend it.

DEAR ABBY: I am in a warm and loving relationship. We have been together 20 years. We both were married before to horrible people. We both said in the beginning that we did not want to remarry. However, as we are getting older and my health is not so good, I would like to marry him.

I have hinted a couple of times that I would like a ring for Christmas or my birthday. Nothing has gotten through. How can I bring this up to him? Also, if he's set against marriage, how do I talk to him about power of attorney and stuff? -- EYE TO THE FUTURE IN MISSISSIPPI

DEAR EYE: A ring should be the least of your concerns. You are long overdue for a serious conversation with your partner. If he were to have a medical emergency, would he want you to make medical decisions about his care? The same is true for financial decisions. Does he have a will? Do you?

You both should be talking about this with an attorney who can guide you. You should also have health care directives in place and shared with your doctor. If, after 20 years with you, this man is still marriage-phobic, there are ways you can be protected that don't involve a trip to the altar. Please start exploring them now.

DEAR ABBY: I have an old friend who lives an hour from me. I visit her for the day and come home. I have never invited her to spend the night at my home, nor do I expect her to invite me for a sleepover when I drive down to see her.

The last two times she has visited me, she has arrived at 9 a.m. I assumed she came early because she wanted to spend the whole day. She expected me to sit and talk all day. She refused to do anything except eat and talk. I am not a sitter, and I hated doing it, but she's a good friend, so I put up with it. Both times, around 5 p.m., she went to her car and brought in luggage expecting to spend the night. Then we ended up staying up until midnight so she could talk some more.

How can I tell her I'd prefer that she go home at the end of the day? She has been seeing psychiatrists for 50 years. It sounds like she goes just to talk. She's also afraid of everything and has no hobbies or other interests. What can I do to put an end to her uninvited overnight stays without hurting her or risking sending her into meltdown? -- TREADING LIGHTLY IN THE WEST

DEAR TREADING: You are not responsible for this woman's mental health, nor should you be. She appears to have been using you as a supplemental (unpaid) therapist. The next time she wants to come for another marathon talk session, tell her you'd love to see her around 1 p.m. but will be unable to entertain her past 5. Unless you create boundaries, there won't be any, and the friendship you have with her will implode.

DEAR ABBY: I'm a 43-year-old woman who is unable to have children. As difficult as this is, I have sisters, friends and my own mom who are wonderful mothers, and I look forward to celebrating them on Mother's Day. However, every year on Mother's Day, I struggle. Strangers assume that I'm a mother, and family overcompensates for the fact I'm not one. I am told "thank you" and have been given trinkets and flowers at restaurants because strangers assume I'm a mom. My family has even given me "awesome aunt" gifts to celebrate the occasion.

I haven't discussed my fertility struggles with anyone because it's too difficult and painful. While I understand and appreciate everyone's kindness, I'm struggling with how to convey that I'm fine with not being recognized. I feel it's cruel to have to disclose my medical diagnosis to others in order to be left alone on a holiday that has nothing to do with me. How do I kindly tell people to leave me alone? -- NEVER MOM IN NEW YORK

DEAR NEVER MOM: You are not the only person who encounters this problem every Mother's Day. You don't have to convey the message verbally, which might be repetitive as well as painful for you. Go online and search for buttons that bear the message "Child-Free." When I looked, I was surprised at the variety that are available.