TO MY ASIAN READERS WHO CELEBRATE THE LUNAR NEW YEAR: The Lunar New Year begins today. It's the Year of the Snake. According to Asian culture, individuals born in the year of the snake are goal-oriented. They are excellent mediators -- intelligent, refined, clever in business and are good providers because they value material wealth. A healthy, happy and prosperous New Year to you all. (Hiss, hiss, hooray!) -- LOVE, ABBY

DEAR ABBY: My friend of eight years has her 55-year-old son living with her. She has been driving a man around who she told me is a friend of her son's and she knows his family. What she never mentioned is that he's a registered violent sex offender who was just released from prison.

She knows how I feel about this issue. Sex offenders are not allowed where we live because there are children here. I am very upset, and I told her to never call me again or come to my home. She brought the man to her home for a cookout. Children live on both sides of her. She has been trying to talk to me, but I have walked away. I feel hurt and lied to. She seems to not care about protecting the children in the neighborhood. What should I do here? -- INCENSED IN INDIANA

DEAR INCENSED: Do the responsible thing. For the safety of those children, inform the police that a neighbor has been bringing a registered violent sex offender to her home in spite of the fact that minor children live on either side of her. The authorities can take it from there.

DEAR ABBY: My niece and I have always had a strong bond. Her son and his wife were expecting a baby. Most of my family knew, but they didn't want to tell anyone until she reached her second trimester.

My niece told me. I was supposed to keep it a secret. I have been depressed because my son is going through a divorce and my psychiatrist put me on a new medication. While I was on the medication, for some reason I forgot about keeping it a secret and sent a text to her son congratulating him.

My niece is beyond angry at me. I told her I don't know why I did that. Come to find out the medication can cause "confusion." I told my doctor what happened, and she verified it. I explained to my niece about the medication. Although we don't live close, we usually talk a lot. We haven't spoken since this. I have apologized. I would love to have that bond again. Is there anything I can do? -- SPILLED THE SECRET

DEAR SPILLED: You have already done what you can. Your niece is now going to have to work through her anger and disappointment. However, if and when that happens, do not expect to be her confidant again. That ship has likely sailed.

DEAR ABBY: My brother died of cancer a year ago. During his entire 50-year marriage, I felt bad about the way his wife treated him. She snapped at him and bit his head off from the time they were first married until his death, even while he was dying. Never once did I hear him speak harshly in return.

I kept my mouth shut because I didn't want to make things worse for him. He was an easygoing, warm, fun person who was loved by many throughout his life. Now that he's gone, I'd really like to speak my piece to my sister-in-law. I think it would help me heal to finally say what needed to be said but I never could. I don't care that it might end my relationship with her. There are two now-adult children, one of whom I am very close to. Your thoughts? -- CONFLICTED IN IOWA

DEAR CONFLICTED: If you do what you are contemplating, it will likely end your relationship with at least one of your brother's children. Before approaching your brother's widow, have a discussion with the adult child with whom you are close. Explain how watching your brother be verbally abused by his wife, even on his deathbed, made you feel. Say you do not wish to lose the close relationship you enjoy with him/her, but that now, for the sake of your own healing from the loss of your brother, you finally intend to air those feelings to their mother. Because you don't plan to have anything more to do with the woman, you can speak your mind.

DEAR ABBY: I am a gay man who has been having an affair with a married man for the last three years. They have been separated for a year, but no one has filed for divorce. I know he wants a future with me, but I'm not sure if he's brave enough to take the next step.

His wife is still "praying the gay away" and still thinks the marriage can work. She sends him biblical verses and worship songs regularly. He has always been gay, but because of how he was raised and his religious upbringing, he felt he had to live a fake life. Although his family isn't accepting, my family is, and they have met him. My question is, how long do I wait? I don't want to waste my life away waiting on someone else to determine my future. -- CINDERFELLA IN PENNSYLVANIA

DEAR CINDERFELLA: You stated that your lover is separated from his wife. One would think that after a year on his own he would have become more comfortable about his sexual orientation. The time has come to tell him that unless he's willing to seek counseling from a licensed therapist who can help him figure out who he is and who he wants to be, you will have to move on.

Living in limbo the way you are is unhealthy for you and him. I hope your next relationship, if there has to be one, will be with an out gay man who is unattached and available.

DEAR ABBY: I have been thinking a lot lately about my first love. The thoughts come and go, which I know is normal. A week or so ago, I stumbled upon her LinkedIn account, saw her profile picture and couldn't help but reminisce about all the good times we had together 15 years ago. I'm 35 now and have been in a relationship for seven years. She has been married for 10.

I'm not looking to rekindle a relationship. I just feel there was never official closure to our relationship, and I suspect it has always affected my subsequent relationships. I love my girlfriend and feel guilty for feeling this way. I know how it would affect us if I were to bring it up, which is why I'm not sure how to proceed.

Will the feeling pass? Will I always feel this way? Will I always look back at that first love and think she was the one I was meant to be with, and if one thing didn't go the way it did, would I be? Should I reach out and try to ask for closure? -- REMINISCING IN VIRGINIA

DEAR REMINISCING: I don't think so. You and this woman have both moved on with your lives. I see nothing positive to be gained by reaching back at this point, particularly since you know it could negatively affect your current relationship. Allow the past to remain in the past and let it go.

DEAR ABBY: My boyfriend, "Chad," and I have been together for 10 years. We have no children together, but we have been stepparents to each other's children since the beginning of our relationship. Since we have been together, we have had to deal with his relentless ex-wife, who's had multiple relationships. We've also dealt with my ex-husband moving out of the state and away from our daughter.

To say the least, we've put ourselves on the back burner dealing with kids and exes. We have also had health problems resulting in surgeries for Chad, my daughter and me. He has asked me to marry him only when he's coming out of surgery -- once as he was coming out of anesthesia in the recovery room and another time just after we got home from another surgery.

Am I wrong for not taking the "post-surgery proposals" seriously? We have recently become grandparents, and I don't want to hurt him by saying no. I feel like I need a completely lucid proposal. -- WANTS IT FOR REAL IN UTAH

DEAR WANTS IT: You and Chad have 10 years invested in this relationship. If you would like to be married to him, talk with him and ask if he remembers proposing to you, which he has done twice. Tell him you could not in good conscience hold him to a proposal that was made while he was under the influence of anesthesia or pain killers, but you would be open to it if he asked in the sober light of day. Then cross your fingers.