DEAR ABBY: I'm a single mother of two children, an 8-year-old daughter and a 9-year-old son. My daughter's father is involved; my son's father is not. I was diagnosed with pulmonary arterial hypertension (PAH) when my daughter was born and given two weeks to live. My condition has markedly improved, and I am on the best treatment there is for it.

To safeguard my son in case something happens to me, my parents and I did a third-parent adoption. With this new law, I was able to add my parents to my son's birth certificate without giving up my parental rights, and I remain the sole custodial parent. He stays with my parents three evenings a week.

The problem is, my mother blatantly favors my son over my daughter. Last year, she planned a Disney cruise for only herself, my son and me. I understand life is not 100% fair, but her favoritism goes beyond just tickets and trips. It's everything from gifts and attention to tone of voice and how many pictures are on the wall. Everyone around us sees it, especially my daughter. Please advise. -- UNEQUAL IN OREGON

DEAR UNEQUAL: I'll bet your daughter notices it! The person who can put a stop to it is you. Consult the attorney who helped you with the custody arrangement and explain that what has been happening is not healthy for either of your children. After you find out what your options are, including possibly changing the custody agreement, confront your mother about her blatant favoritism. And be glad that your daughter's father is as responsible as he seems to be.

DEAR ABBY: I used to hang out with my friend "Brian" and his girlfriend, "Jenny." We all lived together and would spend almost every weekend together. They broke up and went their separate ways 14 years ago. Jenny is single, and Brian has a steady girlfriend now. I still talk to them both, but not often.

Jenny messaged me recently on social media. We shared some photos and talked about the past and present. She said she has her own place and is doing well. I suggested that maybe I'd stop by one night after work. She said she'd like that and sent me her phone number to set up the date and time.

My question is: Should I visit her, and what if something sexual happens? (Trust me, I wouldn't rule it out.) Should I ask Brian for his permission? Are Jenny and I heartless for wanting to meet up? -- PAST, PRESENT & FUTURE FRIEND

DEAR FRIEND: Because you are uneasy about crossing some kind of boundary if you visit Jenny and there is chemistry, contact Brian and say, "Hey, guess what. I reconnected with Jenny and she invited me over. Do you have any objection to that?" I cannot see how, 14 years after their romance ended, he would have an objection. Then visit Jenny, and que sera, sera.

DEAR ABBY: I enjoy helping my friends, my partner and family members. I feel doing good deeds is important in my retirement. My hands are pretty full with getting my elderly dad to medical visits, and I also visit him three times a week. I also have older single friends I do things for, such as occasionally dropping off meals and running errands.

Lately, I have been asked to provide transportation to medical appointments for no less than three of these friends. One, in particular, is more of a friend of my partner. Nevertheless, she expects a lot of me. I feel taking care of my dad and my partner keeps me busy enough. I feel pressured by these other friends. If I say no to them, I feel guilty.

How do I gracefully bow out with these folks? One of them has implied I'm not a good friend if I don't help them get to the doctor, sit with their dog, etc. She never seems to remember past good deeds and loves to start arguments with everyone (she only has one or two friends left). Any advice? -- WEARY MAN IN WISCONSIN

DEAR WEARY MAN: For some folks, it's only a short step from being a people-pleaser to being a doormat. You have been kind and helpful; now it's time to start helping yourself. You shouldn't feel guilty for saying no to entitled individuals. The woman you described is one of them, so don't expect her to be grateful for the time and effort you have already given.

Developing the ability to say no is similar to weightlifting. Start small, work your way up, and in a short time, you will have developed the muscle. Try it. You'll like it.

DEAR ABBY: My husband and I met on the debate team in high school. We would get into heated debates about every topic, and I think it was one of the things he loved most about me.

Fast-forward 14 years and a couple of children later, and I don't have the fire in me to debate "oranges vs. strawberries" anymore. Every time I state a simple opinion, he tries to engage in a debate, but he goes from zero to 100 in a minute and forgets to listen to my opinion. I have taken to "letting him win" just to shut him up because I don't want to hear it. He gets frustrated when I do this and always says that it's what we used to do.

Abby, my priorities have changed. I'm calmer than I used to be, and most of my attention is focused on our kids. I'm tired of the constant arguing, but I know he enjoys it. Please help me find a common ground with my husband. -- NO FIGHT LEFT IN ME

DEAR NO FIGHT: Some couples enjoy contention as a form of foreplay. If you haven't told your husband what you have related to me, it is important that you do. Since "debating" has been an established pattern in your marital relationship, you may need a licensed marriage and family therapist to help you get your message across, because your husband may have difficulty adjusting to the change in how you communicate.

DEAR ABBY: I was physically, emotionally and sexually abused by my oldest brother (six years my senior) from ages 6 to 11. As soon as I could verbalize what was happening, I went to my parents and told them. They believed me, but swept it under the rug and didn't provide any kind of therapy or treatment for either of us.

At 15, I had a mental breakdown. After that, I said, "It's not like I will ever forget what he did to me." My mother finally decided to get me a therapist. Through years of therapy (I'm 25 now) I found healing, grace and forgiveness, but I feel that is for me to know and no one else's business.

Even though my parents know exactly what my brother did, they continue trying to mend our relationship, although I have expressed that I never want to have a relationship with him again.

My brother is now engaged to a woman he's been with for four years. She has met everyone in my family except me. She has never reached out to me, which I find odd. I know my brother hasn't given her the whole truth about what he did to me as a child because he still tries to downplay it.

If I were being married to someone and had met every member of their family except their only sister, I'd be suspicious and would want to know why. Should I send his fiancee an anonymous letter giving her all the details? -- VICTIMIZED IN THE SOUTH

DEAR VICTIMIZED: If you send your brother's fiancee an anonymous letter, she could construe it as "someone," possibly an old girlfriend, trying to break them up. Between you and me, I do think someone should warn her about her fiance's history. If you are willing to risk doing it, your family is sure to be very upset. However, if you are determined to send that letter, you should have the courage to sign your name.

DEAR ABBY: My mom is getting remarried at the age of 84 to a man who is 83 and has never been married. They got engaged after dating for six months. I think it's unwise, but I want her to be happy, so I will go to the wedding.

She asked her best friend to be her maid of honor, and then asked my brother to be best man because her fiance didn't have anybody who would do it. I expressed my frustration that she asked him to be best man and not me to be her maid of honor. Now she wants me to be the maid of honor, but I really don't want to do it because I'm not in favor of the marriage.

Looking back, I should've kept my mouth shut about my frustration. Should I do it out of love and respect for Mom, or hold my ground because I really think it's a bad idea? I don't want to be her maid of honor for so many reasons. -- INDECISIVE IN INDIANA

DEAR INDECISIVE: You were outspoken regarding your reservations about the wedding, which is likely why your mother asked her best friend to do it. She has now invited you to be her maid of honor because you told her you felt left out.

Whether you support your mother's decision to marry this man or not, the wedding is going to happen. Unless you intend to find yourself increasingly distanced in the months and years to come, accompany your mom to the altar, wish her well and cross your fingers.