DEAR ABBY: I'm a mature male who had a weight problem years ago. When I turned 50, I was diagnosed with metabolic syndrome, hypertension and diabetes. I took my doctor's advice about diet and 150 minutes of exercise a week. Fast-forward to today, and I have lost almost half my body weight and am now in good shape.

My problem now is finding women near or around my age who have the same dedication to exercise and fitness. It is nearly impossible to find a partner who shares the same values. I have tried dating sites, and almost always get catfished. I go on dates, but if I'm not physically attracted to someone, things don't get out of the "friend zone."

I feel physical attraction drives a good part of a healthy relationship. I value having friends, but finding someone who can run, bike, kayak, etc., is, to me, vital to a successful relationship. Should I settle to have someone to spend time with, or keep the faith and hope I find a woman I'm attracted to? I've had little luck finding a compatible partner. Am I too picky, given that a lot of people don't or won't take care of themselves? -- DISCOURAGED IN MEMPHIS

DEAR DISCOURAGED: Physical attraction is important, but what attracts us to others varies from person to person. You don't have to be lonely. Because physical fitness is so important in your life in addition to chemistry, continue to look online. If you do, you will find there is more than one dating site geared to folks who are interested in health and fitness. I wish you luck.

DEAR ABBY: I am a senior lady who still works at a great job and who is generally very happy with my life. My husband is a clergyman, but we have our own apartment, so my adult daughter lives in the church rectory with her three children and partner. My husband has stated his intention to retire next year -- well deserved.

Naturally, my daughter will have to find a new place to live. She has suggested that I sell my apartment and go in with her and her brood on a two-family home. I love her and the grandkids, but my mortgage is paid off, and I don't want to do this. I seriously doubt she has any savings to contribute to a down payment or any of the other myriad costs of paying for or maintaining a house. How can I respond without hurting her too much? -- BAD IDEA IN NEW YORK

DEAR BAD IDEA: Your adult daughter has been very fortunate to have parents who have provided shelter for her, her partner and her brood. You didn't mention whether she and her partner have jobs. (I wish you had.) If they do, they could pool their earnings and be able to pay rent to a landlord.

Ask your daughter how she intends to contribute to the arrangement she is suggesting, and be honest about your feelings. It isn't hurtful to stand up for yourself. You don't have to be harsh, but do communicate that what she has in mind wouldn't work for you.

DEAR ABBY: I met a young man on Facebook. He is a philanthropist, and we have been talking for more than six months. He's kind and sweet, and he tells me he loves me. He works around the world as an interior designer and will be returning to the States in a couple of weeks.

The problem is, I'm 30 years older than he is. He has seen photos of me and thinks I am beautiful and a good woman. I am stressed about meeting him because he wants a life together, even though I have shared all of my health issues. Please help me. I have tried to end it because of the age difference, but he gets very upset, and so we go on. I do care about him. What should I do? -- WAFFLING IN GEORGIA

DEAR WAFFLING: Tread very carefully! Although you have communicated over the last six months, he may not "quite" be the person he has presented himself to be. Make no commitments until you have actually met him in person. Hold on to your skepticism and do not give him money for ANY reason, because things that seem too good to be true often are.

DEAR ABBY: I'm dating a single dad with a teenage daughter who lives with him full time. His daughter's mother lives in the same town but rarely sees her. Mom does not want me to meet her daughter and offered the solution of taking her daughter to live with her.

Six months later, Mom has yet to commit to actually having her daughter live with her. Because of this, I am no longer spending time at my boyfriend's home, and it's driving a wedge between us. We've been dating for a year and a half, and I'm now at my wits' end. HELP! -- WAITING IN NEW JERSEY

DEAR WAITING: Your boyfriend's relationship with the mother of his child is not a healthy one. She doesn't have custody of her daughter and she shouldn't be dictating to whom the daughter is introduced. Ask him if he still feels the same about you that he did six months ago. If he says he does, suggest you get couples counseling because it feels like his ex has driven a wedge between you. His response should indicate the direction your relationship is headed.

DEAR ABBY: My brother lost his wife of 30-plus years to COVID. Because we live several states apart and I have significant chronic health issues of my own, I haven't been able to spend as much time with him as I would like.

I call often just to check in, but wish I could do more to help him through his sorrow. The first anniversary of her death is approaching, and I'm uncertain how to handle it. Any advice is deeply appreciated. -- CHECKING IN THE EAST

DEAR CHECKING: Because your health issues prevent you from traveling to see your brother, why not invite him to come for a visit? That way, you could be supportive, and he could have a therapeutic change of scene. If that's not possible, the next best thing would be to video chat with him, which would enable you to meet face-to-face from time to time.

DEAR ABBY: My son is engaged to a girl we all love, but recently, there's been an issue. My husband was at their house while my son's fiancee was finishing up getting ready for their date night. (They live 10 minutes from us, and my husband has been there often since his retirement.) When she was done, she came downstairs, told my husband they were leaving and ordered my son to follow her to the car. My son said nothing at the time. This upset my husband greatly because he values time with our son, who's our only child.

Later on, my husband and I spoke with her, saying we didn't appreciate her attitude. She countered by saying they had a reservation and my husband rambles and is oblivious to the concept that other people don't always have the time to engage with him. She then brought up several instances in which my husband made my son late for something. When we asked our son, we were shocked to find he agreed with her! He said he didn't want to bring it up himself because it made him uncomfortable. My husband does like to talk, but I hardly see it as an issue.

Abby, I'm worried. I find her behavior grossly inconsiderate. I don't want my son marrying some bossy woman who will order him around and refuses to see our side. She said she'll speak with us about this further only if we agree to see a counselor to discuss "all our issues." I didn't know we have issues. My son has never said anything before, but when we asked, he said he agreed with her. What do we do? -- FLABBERGASTED IN-LAWS

DEAR IN-LAWS: Take a step back and stop trying to defend your husband and your son, who should have spoken up before his fiancee felt she had to. If you want a relationship with your son and his future wife, take her up on her suggestion to visit a family therapist together. If you do, it may give each of you an opportunity to air your grievances and to work out an agreement that may satisfy all of you and prevent more problems of this sort in the future.

DEAR ABBY: For years, I have traveled with my cousin to my two time-shares. She's now in her mid-70s and has become grumpy and unpleasant. She complains often about various health issues, and there may be some dementia involved. I am more stoic, so I find this grating, especially during a vacation in which I want to relax. I'd really rather she not come. How do I broach this in a compassionate manner? She tends to get emotional. -- READY FOR CHANGE IN TEXAS

DEAR READY: When the subject of a vacation comes up with your cousin, tell her you realize she isn't feeling as well as she used to and ask what her doctor is doing about it. If she says she hasn't talked about it with a doctor, tell her you would like her to do that before you travel together, because it is clear to you that she no longer enjoys these vacations, which makes you enjoy them less.