DEAR ABBY: My 25-year-old son lives with his two girlfriends, who are also romantically involved with each other. They share a single bedroom. One of them has a baby due this week, and the other has made noises about wanting a child.

I don't approve of this arrangement and can't see it ending well. I love my son and I have a good relationship with all three of them, but it flies in the face of my upbringing and beliefs.

My question: How do I deal with this threesome if they come stay at my house? I don't want this going on under my roof, but I don't know how to assign bedrooms. If it were just two of them in a committed relationship, I could suck it up and put them together, but all three?

I think my son knows me well enough to (hopefully) make that decision before coming here. I'm afraid if I assign bedrooms according to my convictions, it will lead to a falling-out. Any advice? -- CONFLICTED DAD IN OHIO

DEAR DAD: Discuss your feelings with your son as soon as he tells you he and his "extended family" want to stay at your home. Explain that what goes on in his dwelling is his business, but in your home, you prefer the three of them (or four, once the baby arrives) not share one room, and let him decide where everyone sleeps. (This would include staying in a nearby hotel or motel during their visit, which might be more comfortable for them.)

DEAR ABBY: After 40 years, I just started talking to my daughter again. I explained why I hadn't been in her life, which was not at all what her father had told her. He told her I abandoned her and her brother and wanted nothing more to do with them -- this is NOT TRUE. Those kids were my life. Now, she can't understand why her father lied to them all these years.

I have no idea how to comfort her or even build a relationship after all this time. I gave birth to her brother at 15 and to her at 16. Their father was older and very controlling. We live in two different states, which doesn't help. I have never stopped loving and missing my kids. I have asked multiple people for suggestions, and they have nothing to offer. Any advice would be greatly appreciated. -- RECONNECTING IN TENNESSEE

DEAR RECONNECTING: It is wonderful that after all these years you have finally been able to make a connection with your daughter. Please, take it slowly, one step at a time. She will need to understand how young you were when she and her brother were born, and the imbalance of power in your relationship with their older (and controlling) father.

Your daughter should know you always wanted her in your life, but that the estrangement was their father's punishment for you. Reinforce that you never stopped loving, missing or thinking about them and they are part of you. Living in different states may make things more challenging, but you may be able to establish a friendship and visit your daughter in the future.

DEAR ABBY: I'm a Chinese man born in the United States. My girlfriend, whom I've yet to meet in person, lives in China and is 24 years younger than I am. (I live in California.) We're awaiting approval of paperwork with the U.S. Citizenship and Immigration Service. We have both been divorced twice. She has a grown son (single) in his 30s in Japan. My two children are in their 50s and self-sufficient.

We both are Christian and educated. Her English proficiency is fair to good. I'm a physician; she's a teacher. We are kind, gentle, patient people. We plan to meet and, hopefully, marry. She would relocate to the U.S., and I might continue to work part time. From what I've told you, how would you rate our chances of marital success? -- HOPING FOR THE BEST

DEAR HOPING: Are you absolutely certain that this woman is who she says she is? Many people have been duped by someone they met on the internet. Have you discussed this with your adult children, who might be more tech-savvy? (I hope so!)

You and this woman have never seen each other in person and have no idea what the chemistry between the two of you would be like. When she arrives, take sufficient time to get to know each other, observe each other in various situations (including stressful ones) and figure out whether your personalities and lifestyles mesh. Because of these unanswered questions, I think your chances of success are about 50-50.

DEAR ABBY: My parents are in their early 70s and have been married 51 years. They have two homes -- one in the Midwest and another in the South. They used to go back and forth between them together, but for the past two years, they have basically lived in separate states.

In total, they spend about two months a year together, and Mom complains nonstop when they are together. She is concerned only with herself and having fun, and she has progressively ignored my dad, my brother, her grandchildren and me. I'm so angry with her that I think my dad should divorce her. She stays with him only for his money and admits it to me and all of her friends.

Should I tell Dad to divorce her? I don't understand why he puts up with her behavior. I'm convinced once he dies (his health is worse than hers), we will never hear from her again. -- FRUSTRATED AND HURT IN THE MIDWEST

DEAR FRUSTRATED: Many marriages are close and loving ones; others are what I would call "arrangements." Your parents apparently have the latter because it may work better for them (possibly for religious or financial reasons) than divorce.

Please refrain from telling your father what to do. I have a strong hunch he has thought this through. As to your relationship with dear old Mom, you have my sympathy. You may need a therapist to deal with her selfishness and rejection of you, your brother and the grandchildren.

DEAR ABBY: My sister passed away from cancer seven years ago. Her daughter and I have always been close -- doing things together, going on trips, etc. Four years ago, she started dating a guy who thinks he's better than everyone. I have met him but have yet to meet the rest of his family. She always comes up with some excuse.

This past weekend she told me they were going somewhere special so he could propose, and he wanted to borrow a ring he had already given her (which I thought was odd). Then I saw on Facebook that his entire family was there for that special moment, but I wasn't invited.

I am heartbroken. If he planned it and didn't ask me, that's being a jerk. But my niece knowing about it and excluding me is a different story. I'm hurt and angry. I don't know what to say to her at this point. I feel she's ashamed of or embarrassed by me because I don't drive a fancy car. -- OVERLOOKED AUNT IN VIRGINIA

DEAR AUNT: You state that your niece's boyfriend thinks he is "better than everyone" and you suspect you were excluded from the engagement event because you are not as wealthy as the family he comes from. But if he couldn't afford to buy your niece an engagement ring and needed to borrow one he had already given her, you may be overestimating his net worth.

I can't blame you for feeling the way you do, and please realize you have every right to express those feelings to the thoughtless niece you befriended.

DEAR ABBY: My husband is brilliant, classy, faithful, a great father and handsome at 46, with not even a wrinkle. He's been in a financial rut for about a decade and has let himself go. I respect him, but when I try to help him look better, he says, "I don't care. Go ahead and leave me," which I think is very immature.

I am becoming resentful because I've been with him for so long and have contributed 50% to our finances and 100% to his dreams as he has moved us around the USA. I'm 42 and beginning to find younger men attractive. While I'd never cheat, I can't help but miss the man I fantasize about in my dreams. It's hurtful that he doesn't care. People think he's my father when they meet him. Please help. -- MISSING THE REAL HIM

DEAR MISSING: Has it occurred to you that when a brilliant, classy, faithful, handsome 46-year-old man who has been "in a rut" for the last 10 years lets his appearance go, he may be depressed? Rather than a physical makeover, he may need a mental one. Tell him you love him, that you are worried about his physical and mental health, and try to convince him to tell his doctor how he's feeling. If you do, it may be the answer to your problem.