DEAR ABBY: My sister passed away from cancer seven years ago. Her daughter and I have always been close -- doing things together, going on trips, etc. Four years ago, she started dating a guy who thinks he's better than everyone. I have met him but have yet to meet the rest of his family. She always comes up with some excuse.

This past weekend she told me they were going somewhere special so he could propose, and he wanted to borrow a ring he had already given her (which I thought was odd). Then I saw on Facebook that his entire family was there for that special moment, but I wasn't invited.

I am heartbroken. If he planned it and didn't ask me, that's being a jerk. But my niece knowing about it and excluding me is a different story. I'm hurt and angry. I don't know what to say to her at this point. I feel she's ashamed of or embarrassed by me because I don't drive a fancy car. -- OVERLOOKED AUNT IN VIRGINIA

DEAR AUNT: You state that your niece's boyfriend thinks he is "better than everyone" and you suspect you were excluded from the engagement event because you are not as wealthy as the family he comes from. But if he couldn't afford to buy your niece an engagement ring and needed to borrow one he had already given her, you may be overestimating his net worth.

I can't blame you for feeling the way you do, and please realize you have every right to express those feelings to the thoughtless niece you befriended.

DEAR ABBY: My husband is brilliant, classy, faithful, a great father and handsome at 46, with not even a wrinkle. He's been in a financial rut for about a decade and has let himself go. I respect him, but when I try to help him look better, he says, "I don't care. Go ahead and leave me," which I think is very immature.

I am becoming resentful because I've been with him for so long and have contributed 50% to our finances and 100% to his dreams as he has moved us around the USA. I'm 42 and beginning to find younger men attractive. While I'd never cheat, I can't help but miss the man I fantasize about in my dreams. It's hurtful that he doesn't care. People think he's my father when they meet him. Please help. -- MISSING THE REAL HIM

DEAR MISSING: Has it occurred to you that when a brilliant, classy, faithful, handsome 46-year-old man who has been "in a rut" for the last 10 years lets his appearance go, he may be depressed? Rather than a physical makeover, he may need a mental one. Tell him you love him, that you are worried about his physical and mental health, and try to convince him to tell his doctor how he's feeling. If you do, it may be the answer to your problem.

DEAR ABBY: My husband and I had a baby right around the time my father remarried. I didn't know my new stepmother very well when she started giving me parenting advice. The issue is, her convictions are not in line with mine and also conflict with the advice from the CDC or the American Academy of Pediatrics. Some examples: She insists breastfeeding is stunting the baby's growth (she's fine), that babies should be put to bed face-down (dangerous) and that holding a baby in a car is just as good as a car seat (?!). I do my best to smile, nod and go about my business, but she's really pushy and keeps saying she was a nurse, so she knows what she's talking about.

After hearing about that nursing experience one too many times, I asked her son about it, and it turns out she earned a nursing assistant degree via correspondence and failed twice before barely passing. She never worked as a nurse.

Being direct with her hasn't helped. Talking to Dad hasn't helped (they're newlyweds). Walking away doesn't help -- she follows me. What choice do I have, short of banning her from my house (or coming to blows, which would be effective, but not the way I want to go)? -- OPPOSED IN OHIO

DEAR OPPOSED: Because Dad refuses to accept that his bride has misrepresented herself, pray he stays in good health and doesn't give her his power of attorney for health care. As to her unwanted and incorrect advice on childcare, listen, smile sweetly and exercise your option as a mother not to follow it. Continue breastfeeding, position your little one in the crib as you have been instructed by reliable sources and never, ever, let her hold the baby while she's in the car. It's against the law and it could be fatal.

DEAR ABBY: I have been married to my husband, "Mark," for 13 years. During this time, I have realized that marrying him was a mistake. His parents didn't have a healthy marriage, and I know he doesn't know what love is. His dad often traveled for work and kept a mistress on the side. My mother-in-law stayed in the marriage anyway.

Mark is very self-centered. I snore. When I do, my husband will wake me up either by a loud noise, plugging my nose or shaking me. He says he can't sleep when I snore. I suggested he use earbuds like he does when he listens to music. His ex-wife also said he was difficult to be married to. I am 59 and confident enough to be on my own. Your thoughts? -- READY FOR CHANGE IN MICHIGAN

DEAR READY: Because you have felt nearly from the outset of your 13-year marriage that it was a mistake, I'm thinking it is time you discuss this with an attorney who can explain what a divorce would mean for your financial future. Mark's ex-wife may have been on the right track when she walked out.

DEAR ABBY: My son and his family live six hours from me. I can afford the gas to drive there, but paying for a hotel room for two nights is beyond my means. My son is a stay-at-home dad of seven children. When I asked his wife if I could stay at their place, thinking one child could make a pallet on the floor, giving me their bed, she said she didn't want to put their child out.

At my age, I can't sleep on the floor because I have some health issues. This means I can't see my son and his family. They don't offer to help pay for a room. I remember when someone stayed in my parents' home, they gave up their bedroom to the guest. I don't expect my son and his wife to give up their room, but one of the children should. It makes me feel sad, disrespected and uncared for since, in the past, my son said he wanted me to get closer to his children. Is there any answer? -- DENIED GRANDMA IN WASHINGTON

DEAR GRANDMA: This may not be a case of being uncared for or disrespected. From what you have described, your daughter-in-law makes the decisions in that household rather than your son. The reason may be that she's the one financially supporting the family. If you (and your son) want you to grow closer to your seven grandchildren, perhaps a foldaway cot could be purchased for you to use when you visit. It shouldn't cost more than a few nights in a hotel. (Have you ever ASKED them if it would be possible for them to pay part of the cost of a hotel stay?) If a cot is out of reach, consider sleeping on a sofa or in an easy chair, if one is comfortable enough.

DEAR ABBY: A co-worker and I have developed a mutual friendship with a co-worker who lives in a different town. They're a beautiful human with the hugest heart. They escaped an abusive relationship and are currently a single parent to their special needs child. They're also severely isolated due to the abuse they suffered.

We've all been friends for almost a year and have gone out on the town, but I hadn't seen this particular co-worker's living quarters until recently. The place is horrendous. There's trash and dirty dishes everywhere, food left out and a pungent odor that lingers on your clothes once you've left. I'm not one to judge, as I know there's always another side to the story, but it was easily the worst conditions I've ever seen.

I've chatted with our mutual friend/co-worker. We both want to help as best we can. Given the current disrepair of the house, I feel it'd be easier to pay for a cleaning crew to come than tackle it ourselves. How do we approach that conversation without causing offense? -- CONCERNED CO-WORKER IN MICHIGAN

DEAR CONCERNED: You are right to be concerned. It is not healthy for a child to live in the kind of home you have described. Although it is a touchy subject to approach, you and the mutual friend should have a private, face-to-face discussion with your co-worker and volunteer to have a crew come in to help the person handle something that has clearly gotten out of control.