DEAR ABBY: I am raising a granddaughter. We went to visit her aunt and cousin and had a nice day until my granddaughter told her aunt she should let her 5-year-old pick out her own clothes. My daughter became enraged and told me I had to teach my granddaughter to respect adults. I told my daughter I didn't think she should tell me how to raise this child.
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My daughter then began yelling and cursing and threw us out of her house. My granddaughter was distraught after being yelled at even after she apologized.
I have thought for a couple of years that my daughter isn't mentally healthy. I will not expose my granddaughter to her aunt again. I would, however, like to maintain a connection with this daughter because I want a relationship with the 5-year-old. I'm willing to let this event go.
I know my daughter thinks this is all my fault and she did nothing wrong. She suffers from a number of delusions, some related to social media. It has not been possible to get her help. I have tried to encourage her husband, who is just trying to survive. I'm not quite sure what is the right thing to do. Please help. -- ON EGGSHELLS IN NEW HAMPSHIRE
DEAR ON EGGSHELLS: When your unstable daughter told you to teach your granddaughter to respect adults, you should not have reacted by fanning the flames. If you wish to have a relationship with the grandchild who lives with this daughter, apologize for the blow-up. It might also be wise to warn the granddaughter you're raising that her aunt is "sensitive" to parenting advice, not to offer it again and to limit her exposure.