DEAR ABBY: I've been dating a divorced man, "Mitch," for nine years. We've been living together for the last two. He has a daughter and a grandson. Recently, while I was out of town for a week, he participated in the annual "family photo shoot" with his arm around his ex-wife as if they were one big happy family.

I feel betrayed by Mitch and his daughter. His excuse is that the photographer was unaware of the family history. The ex recently dumped the man she cheated on Mitch with, so her intentions might be questionable. Should I ask him to move out? -- IN OR OUT OF THE PICTURE

DEAR IN OR OUT: Do NOT ask your boyfriend of nine years to move out based on a photo that was taken one weekend while you were out of town! However, do examine why, after nine years, the two of you haven't tied the knot, and how one photoshoot has made you feel so threatened. Then talk to him about it.

DEAR ABBY: My husband and I are contemplating moving across the country to be near our daughters. We have lived in our home for 45 years. We are both active and in very good health, but unlike many of our friends, we have no relatives anywhere near us.

We have friends and neighbors who are like family. We are also active in our church and community. Basically, our whole life is here. But we are very close to both of our daughters. We visit two to three times a year and Facetime often. They would be delighted to have us closer.

While we want to be more involved in their lives (we have four grandchildren), we always said the one of us left would be the one to move. However, as we age, we are thinking we might need to be near them. It has been hard watching all our friends be involved with their families, and we know we have missed a lot of seeing our grandkids growing up. We would welcome any wisdom from you as we try to make this difficult decision. -- UNDECIDED IN THE SOUTH

DEAR UNDECIDED: Not every move of the kind you describe is successful. I have heard from many readers expressing that when they arrived in the new community, they discovered that the grandchildren were living full lives with their contemporaries, and the adult children were busy managing their own lives and couldn't give them the attention they had envisioned.

You have lived happily as part of your community for nearly half a century. Because you feel you are missing out on your grandchildren's lives, visit them a little more often. But do not expect to suddenly become the center of their and their parents' lives or you risk sacrificing the happy life you currently enjoy and becoming isolated and disappointed.

A final thought: Before making a hard-and-fast decision about this life-changing scenario, consider RENTING an apartment in the new community for a year so you can see how well you would integrate into it before selling your home. It could save you a world of regret.

DEAR ABBY: For a long time, I thought I was unable to have children. My doctors told me it would be a difficult process and my chances were low due to chronic illnesses I live with. I have accepted this fact, because having a family was the reason I divorced in my late 20s. My ex didn't want it, and I did, though I didn't yet know I was likely infertile. Learning this afterward was devastating, but I pivoted into recovery with grit and faith.

I'm in my 30s now, and my closest friends are women who have infertility issues as well, or who have chosen to be childless. I have built a happy life that includes travel, an MBA, an exciting career and the bandwidth to be a support system for others. I've made my health a priority and I have learned to love my body.

Well, to our great surprise, my boyfriend and I learned we were pregnant six weeks ago. So far, all the signs point to this being a healthy, viable pregnancy, and we couldn't be more thrilled. We are both ready for this next big adventure. But knowing how painful birth announcements can be for people with infertility, I'm reluctant to share my happy news.

As I near my second trimester and my life begins to change shape to welcome our miracle, I wonder how I can compassionately let my community know in a way that honors what we've been through together. I'm worried about bitterness during a time of so much sweetness. -- ELATED IN THE MIDWEST

DEAR ELATED: My warmest congratulations to you and your boyfriend. Because you realize that it may upset some of your friends, forgo a big bash announcement and confide in a few of your closest friends. Knowing human nature, I'm sure the news will spread quickly.

Those who love you will be happy for you. Those who can't bring themselves to feel that way will fade into the background, but please do not feel guilty for your happiness, because you are entitled to it.

DEAR ABBY: How do you handle an annoying neighbor who refuses to use his own trash and recycle bins and sneaks his discards into mine on pickup day? He lives alone, as do several women in the neighborhood, and he's not helpful to anyone but himself, in good weather or bad. The only time he speaks to me is when he has a complaint about overgrown shrubs or trees near his property. What should I say? -- ANNOYED NEIGHBOR IN NEW MEXICO

DEAR NEIGHBOR: Say you do not want him to put anything in your garbage cans. If he continues to do it, you may have to buy cans you can lock. Of course, you will have to unlock them for pickup, but it may be worth the trouble to ensure your garbage is "pristine."

DEAR ABBY: I have been married to "George" for 35 years. I was pregnant when I married. We had dated only five months. We came from families that believed you had to "do the right thing" and get married. I love my husband, but never as deeply as I thought I should.

I had feelings for someone else ("Dennis") before I got married, but we were always in different relationships when we'd see each other. He was my husband's best man at our wedding, and they were friends for many years. He moved away and we had not seen each other for 25 years. Dennis and I recently reconnected, and when we first saw each other, it was like I was hit by a truck full of emotions.

Dennis makes me feel ways I never felt before. We have long talks about how much we missed each other. We can tell each other anything. I'm the happiest I have ever been in my life, but once again, things are complicated. I still live with my husband, although I'm in the process of moving out as soon as I can. Dennis has to take care of his mother and can't just walk off.

We want to be together. We have never done anything more than hug and share passionate kisses. George will be hurt, but should I keep putting my happiness last just to please someone else? When do I deserve to be happy? -- ABOUT TO FLEE

DEAR ABOUT TO FLEE: You have a right to be happy and so does George. Have you and Dennis been discussing marriage during any of those long talks? Does George know you are planning to move out and why? How does Dennis' mother (who is very much in the picture) feel about his romance with you? How do you plan to support yourself if your romance should not work out?

Be sure you have answers to these questions before you pack your bags, because if you don't, you may find you slammed the door on a satisfactory marriage to a man whose only flaw was that he wasn't Dennis.

DEAR ABBY: My ex-husband is dying of cancer. I got pregnant shortly before we divorced. I left him because he physically, psychologically and emotionally abused me. I never told him about his son. In fact, I lied and told him the child was someone else's. I did it to protect our child.

Now that my ex is dying, I feel guilty. He never had any other children. Should I tell him he has a son? -- FEELING GUILTY IN THE MIDWEST

DEAR FEELING GUILTY: That's an interesting question. My first reaction is to let sleeping dogs lie. From your description of your ex-husband, he would have used the child as a pawn to further abuse you. However, you didn't mention whether your son knows who his father is. If he does, he might want to meet him before he expires. This is something only you can decide.