DEAR ABBY: I have been dating my man for seven years. When we got serious, he told me he had kids. Because we are seniors, I assumed his kids were adults. I recently found out that the kids are teenagers! He is very involved in their lives.
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The problem is, their mother calls him constantly about bills for her house and what the kids need. He pays her phone bill, water bill, electric bill and sometimes the internet bill, as well as giving her money each month for the kids. He says he does it because he doesn't pay child support, and he wants to take care of his kids.
He says he's not, under any circumstances, getting back together with the mom. He tells me he loves me, and he does show it. He says that when the kids graduate from high school in two years, he will have no reason to talk to their mom or to pay her bills. He wants his kids to leave and go to college.
I'm very concerned about our relationship moving forward. He gives me a lot of information about what happens between the mom, the kids and him. The woman is dangerous and volatile. She has come at him with a knife twice. Should I hang in there for the next two years or move on? I love him very much. -- SUSPENDED IN FLORIDA
DEAR SUSPENDED: Hang in there, but understand that the time has come for you to discuss all of this with your gentleman friend. Suggest he talk to a family law attorney now about his children's higher education. In some states, laws or case law gives courts the authority to order a non-custodial parent to pay for some form of college expenses.
As to his children's unstable mother, you can bet that when he stops footing her bills, she's going to be one angry woman. If she threatens his life again, he should immediately report her to the police and seek a restraining or no-contact order.