DEAR ABBY: I am a 29-year-old man who has been with a fantastic woman, 25, for the last year. I believe she is The One. We have moved quickly and have already settled into an apartment together.
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Recently, she was asked to be a bridesmaid in a wedding between her ex's cousin and a friend she met through her ex. Her ex will be a part of the wedding. She isn't very close with this friend. It seems like the bride-to-be doesn't have many other friends.
It is clear to me that my girlfriend really wants to attend this wedding. I asked her to see if we could attend the wedding without her being a bridesmaid, but she's under the impression that we wouldn't be invited otherwise. I felt like I couldn't say no, so I agreed to go if she agreed she wouldn't attend any event where her ex would be present.
But now she has agreed to be a bridesmaid, and I find myself getting upset every time the wedding is mentioned. I haven't begun to feel resentful toward her, but I'm worried this may change as the wedding draws closer. I want to be supportive, but I also can't ignore that I am clearly not OK with this arrangement. What should I do? -- NEW BOYFRIEND IN CONNECTICUT
DEAR BOYFRIEND: You should not be placing stipulations on your girlfriend, who is part of the wedding. For her to back out on her promise to be in the bridal party would be bad form. Pressuring her to do that is childish on your part.
You have an opportunity to be a hero and conquer your insecurity. Grab hold of it and send your girlfriend to the wedding ... alone. And when you do, smile, give her a hug and tell her you hope she has a good time, and that you will be waiting with open arms when she gets back.