DEAR ABBY: When we are out as a family, my 30-year-old, millionaire son never pays for anything. He eats more than any of us and never reaches for his wallet, not even to help with the tip. This has been going on for years, and my wife always defends him. I have given up trying to fix it.
I'm writing because my son never fails to criticize the amount of the tip I do leave. I generally leave something in the 15% to 18% range, which he finds offensive. He works in the hospitality industry and insists that 20% is minimum. When I invite him to supplement the tip, he says, "If you don't want to tip appropriately, you shouldn't go out to eat."
I am a retired teacher. The idea of tipping a waiter $45 for carrying plates for 10 minutes seems ludicrous to me. He says the tips are shared by the whole staff, and they are how they feed their families.
I would love to hear your thoughts, because I've reached the point where I no longer want to go out with the family again. Last time, the bill was $150, to which I added a $28 tip, only to be humiliated and told I was a cheapskate who should be ashamed of myself. -- FAIR DAD IN TEXAS
DEAR DAD: The rules of tipping have changed in recent years. What used to be considered adequate in the 15% to 18% range is no longer the norm. Twenty percent or more is standard now. However, for your millionaire son to criticize you about the size of the tip you are leaving (while refusing to supplement it) is beyond rude. He's biting the hand that just fed him, and you and your wife should point it out.