DEAR ABBY: My husband and I have been married for two years. We rushed into marriage, unfortunately, before getting to know each other very well. Whenever we have a disagreement, he gives me the silent treatment for days. Sometimes, it lasts weeks.

He won't eat anything I cook or help around the house. If I'm in one room, he will lock himself up in another one. He sleeps on the couch or on a pull-out mattress. Eventually, he will end it by returning to our bed and trying to initiate intimacy. I usually accept, but the issue never gets resolved or discussed -- we just carry on. When I've tried discussing the issues, he says, "Don't start!"

I'm fed up with his childish behavior. We have a 7-month-old baby and children from my previous marriage, so it has become increasingly difficult for me to leave him. He's not the type to go to therapy. He will admit we have communication issues, but that's the extent of it. I've reached the point that I no longer care about our marriage, and if I had the means, I'd happily leave. Please help. -- SILENT TREATMENT IN THE NORTHEAST

DEAR SILENT TREATMENT: Because your husband doesn't want to go to therapy does not mean you shouldn't. When you tell him that you plan to schedule some sessions, expect him to find a dozen reasons why you "don't need it" or to go into another silent phase. Therapy for you would be illuminating and could help you decide how much longer you want to tolerate an increasingly intolerable living situation.

DEAR ABBY: We recently attended the wedding of a close family member on my husband's side. All went seemingly well until the next day when I was sharing snapshots of the beautiful day with my stepdaughter.

I promptly received what I'll call a form letter via text from her, saying: "Hi! As the holidays approach, we're sending this message to our close family members. With flu season coming up and a rise in COVID cases, we're asking everyone to not kiss the baby. This is also a reminder not to take or post photos of the baby. We take lots of beautiful photos of her and if you'd like some, we are happy to send them to you. Our goal is to minimize her media presence until she's old enough to consent to how her pictures are used."

When I spoke to other family members, I realized none of them had received this message. I'm hurt. I spent what I thought was a beautiful day at a family function, taking snapshots of the event and of our grandchild. Now here's a text telling me not to take pics of her. I don't know how to handle this. -- JOY DESTROYED IN THE WEST

DEAR JOY DESTROYED: You are the only person who received that message because you are the only person who was taking photos. Parents are entitled to decide whether they want pictures of their children posted on social media. You should always ask whether it's OK to post pictures of an event or a child before doing so. Now you know how your stepdaughter feels about it, so "handle this" by apologizing for any mistake you might have made.

DEAR ABBY: My husband and I moved near the ocean last year. I have two sons, 21 and 17. My older son moved across the country with some friends. The younger son, "Cody," chose at the last minute to stay with his dad.

Abby, it has been awful. Cody dropped out of high school and did not keep up with his home-school work. He quit his jobs, and he's on depression medication. This week, both boys moved where I am. My house is small, so I got them an apartment in my name. The landlord thinks I'm going to be living there.

My question is, how often should I go there and clean, make dinner and visit? I feel like I'll want to be there all the time -- before work, after work and on weekends. My husband thinks I should back off, but Cody is only 17 and going through a lot.

They moved into the apartment today, so this is still new. Also, is it crazy that I paid to put them in their own apartment? I felt like it was an OK choice since our house is so small. They both are planning to get jobs, and the younger one wants to start college classes. But they're lazy and messy, and I feel like I need to step in to help more. Any suggestions? -- MOM OF BOYS IN CALIFORNIA

DEAR MOM: Your older son is an adult. Your younger one is on the verge of becoming one. It's time for both to learn the skills they need to take care of themselves. Going there every day to cook, clean, do laundry and visit would be counterproductive to teaching them how to become independent.

If your older son has a job, he should contribute to the rent and groceries. Your younger son will never get into college if he doesn't do the homework he's ignoring. Having a small home doesn't mean he couldn't live with you until he establishes a healthy routine. Although it's tempting, please do not deprive them of this learning opportunity.

DEAR ABBY: I have a brother-in-law I have no contact with because he is jealous of my success and has made violent threats toward me. Every holiday and family function, when my mom asks me to attend, I ask if "Mr. Violent" is going to be there. Her answer is always, "I can't tell him he is not invited."

It always turns out that my wife and kids attend, and I go either to work or to a bar to watch sports because I don't want to be around this person whom I cannot stand. Any advice on how I should handle this? I am considering moving far away from my family. -- LOATHING IN FLORIDA

DEAR LOATHING: Your brother-in-law's jealousy is his problem; you have made it yours. That was a mistake. If an alcohol or drug problem has caused his threats of violence, your entire family should be urging him to get into treatment. If he has actually acted out, the police should have been called to discourage it from happening again.

Moving may be an expensive solution to your in-law problem. A more practical one might be to accept that you will never have a close relationship with this brother-in-law, allow him to "enjoy" his jealousy and pretty much ignore him.

DEAR ABBY: I am the father of four, two boys and two girls, ranging in age from late teens to mid-20s. I was extremely close with all of them until my divorce seven years ago. Most would say they were closer to me than to their mom.

My boys still talk to me, and we have a great relationship, but my two girls stopped talking to me. To this day, I send each of them a check for $150 on their birthdays and on Christmas. The girls sure do cash their checks, but they never send a text or email a thank you.

My feelings border on deep hurt and anger. Should I send one last check explaining how they have hurt me and tell them goodbye, or continue sending checks, hoping they'll contact me in the future? It isn't easy for me to afford $150 eight times a year. -- DEEPLY HURT DAD IN ARIZONA

DEAR DEEPLY HURT: You have been generous with all of your children in spite of the fact it creates financial stress. Your ex may have turned the girls against you by telling them you had left them instead of her at the time of your divorce.

That you have not heard from them to say, "Thanks, Dad," is a breach of manners. It isn't necessary to send them a letter telling them their shunning you has hurt you. They already know that. When the next gift-giving occasion rolls around, send your daughters a nice card acknowledging the special day and omit the checks. If you do, you may hear from them then.

DEAR ABBY: My co-worker sent "save the date" cards to everyone a year ago, and my husband and I were looking forward to attending her wedding. Apparently, she had a wedding planner or a friend send the wedding invitation itself via email closer to the wedding date. Everyone in the office received theirs, but I did not.

When I found out, I privately told two other co-workers I hadn't received an invitation and that perhaps the person misspelled my name in the email, thinking they would say something to the bride or someone would follow up on the RSVP. (I didn't want to put the bride on the spot by addressing her directly.) Well, nothing happened.

Now everyone in the office is gushing with the bride about how wonderful her wedding was, and I'm afraid she may think I didn't care to attend and or even bother to RSVP. Was there a polite way to let the bride know I didn't receive an emailed wedding invitation without looking desperate or embarrassing her? Are emailed invitations the "new thing" with weddings? -- ON THE OUTSIDE LOOKING IN

DEAR OUTSIDE: Some couples do send emailed wedding and shower invitations these days. A way to have handled this would have been for you to have been proactive and informed the bride that you had "checked your calendar" and realized that after having received her "save the date" memo, your formal invitation hadn't shown up. That way she could have told you she'd send one immediately, or that because of budgetary considerations, she would be unable to host you after all.