DEAR ABBY: My boss, who recently separated from her husband and is getting divorced, has moved within walking distance of work. The problem is, she can't drive, and her daughter needs to be taken to and from school. I offered to help her out with her daughter, but now she's asking me to take her everywhere she needs to go.

I have been accommodating and have done this for a couple of months, but she has never offered me any money toward gas in my car even though she's always bragging about all the things she has ordered off the internet. I never offered to be her chauffeur.

I work third shift, which is hard enough, and have my own child to take care of during the day. How can I tell her it's got to stop without hurting her feelings? I am getting close to losing control and telling her off. Everyone I know is advising me to stop, and she's just using me. -- USED IN THE MIDWEST

DEAR USED: Explain to your boss (politely) that you were glad to help her out "temporarily" by making sure her child had transportation to and from school, but you have responsibilities outside of work that preclude your continuing to serve as her chauffeur.

Then tell her that if you are going to continue driving her child, you will need to be reimbursed for the fuel you expend doing it -- something she seems to have forgotten. Speaking up is not rude or hurtful; it's called being assertive.

DEAR ABBY: Should I be upset that my grandchildren have a step-grandfather who has no children of his own and is always giving money and other gifts to my grandchildren? I bought my 18-year-old grandson a used car with the understanding that he would repay me in installments when he started working. He did just that, and then he had a fender bender, so I helped him get it partially repaired. I made the same deal with him as before. I paid for the repairs; he again repaid me in installments.

Well, one of the doors has a large dent and won't open. Now he has sweet-talked his step-grandfather into shopping for another car! My grandson doesn't want to fix the door because it's easier to get his step-grandfather to buy him another car. Should I be upset about this? What should I tell his step-grandfather? -- FRUSTRATED GRANDFATHER

DEAR GRANDFATHER: I can see why you would be concerned. You have been trying to not only help your grandson but also to teach him responsibility. His well-meaning step-grandfather is interfering with that. By all means, have a discussion with him because Step-Grandpa is being manipulated. If he really wants to help your grandson, he should consider treating him to driving lessons.

DEAR ABBY: Isn't it considered bad manners to comment about the length of time someone spends in the restroom? Several times when I've been out with people at a restaurant or bar, someone has commented "That was quick!" when I returned to the table. I want to tell them the comment is inappropriate. Any suggestions for an appropriate response that isn't too snarky would be appreciated. -- PRIVATE LADY IN GEORGIA

DEAR PRIVATE LADY: Try this: Smile at the person and say, "I didn't know you were clocking my action!" (It's better than saying, "That's because I didn't take the time to wash my hands. Would you like me to pass you the bread?")

DEAR ABBY: I was blessed to work for President John F. Kennedy at the White House. I'm committed to honoring his memory on the 60th anniversary of his death on Nov. 22, 1963, in gratitude for the life of such an inspiring leader who promoted world peace.

On Nov. 22, 2023, we are asking people in America and throughout the world to take the initiative and make a promise to do a good deed, as a group or an individual, and to make a positive difference, spreading love, hope and peace by:

-- Supporting the poor.

-- Caring for the sick.

-- Feeding the homeless.

-- Assisting the disabled.

-- Protecting refugees.

-- Planting a tree (to help curb climate change).

-- Improving the general welfare of children.

-- Promoting the common good.

-- Praying for peace.

Thank you, Abby, for spreading this message. -- CARMELLA LaSPADA, FOUNDER, NO GREATER LOVE INC.

DEAR CARMELLA: Thank you for helping me make my readers aware of such a positive endeavor. Readers, a generous act is like a pebble in a pond. Its ripples spread endlessly outward.

DEAR ABBY: Several of our grandchildren have had weddings in the last few years, along with showers and receptions. They all had plans to move into residences of their own. The shower gifts were household items -- nothing extravagant, but nice.

Our granddaughter is now planning to be married in the next few months, and she wants all the things the previous grandkids wanted. Her parents will only go so far.

This granddaughter and her fiance have agreed to live with the groom's recently widowed mother, who has a fully furnished home and a spare bedroom. The newlyweds may have a bedroom to decorate, but the rest of the house belongs to someone else. Packing up gifts for storage will require a place to put them, because other family members don't have spare room.

How do we have a normal shower for a couple who won't have room for their gifts? Renting a unit can get expensive. By the way, the bride does have a job and income, but the groom is currently unemployed. -- WON'T FIT IN KENTUCKY

DEAR WON'T FIT: Forgive me if this seems judgmental, but more practical than figuring out where this young couple is going to store the loot would be for them to concentrate on his finding a job. It would also be a good idea for them to have premarital counseling before she moves in with his mother to be sure they are on the same page regarding money, children, problem-solving and a myriad of other things that can ruin a marriage.

For this shower, consider showering the couple with good wishes and gifts of cash for them to invest until they are ready to use it.

DEAR ABBY: My son, age 31, dated a woman for a month. On a couple of occasions, she got drunk and became very nasty. He decided to end the relationship and did it in person. Unfortunately, during their short time together, he divulged some personal issues he's working on. She contacted him a few weeks after they broke up. When he didn't respond, she contacted him again and threatened to make his personal issues public. What do you do in this situation? -- CAUTIOUS MOM IN NEW JERSEY

DEAR MOM: The healthiest thing for your son to do would be to continue ignoring the woman. There is nothing positive to be gained by allowing himself to be sucked into a contentious relationship with someone who may be unstable. The alternative would be to have his attorney write her a letter explaining that should she post anything on social media that could damage his reputation (and job, business, etc.), she might be liable for damages, legal fees and court costs.

DEAR ABBY: My husband received a huge inheritance two years ago, and he hasn't given me a penny. He was always a supportive husband until now. Before he received the money, he told me he was going to give me $5,000 and buy me a car. Something changed his mind, and he has become very selfish. When I mentioned this to him, we got into a big argument, and he said he doesn't "have" to give me anything. This has bothered me to the point that it has strained our communication and our marriage. What can I do? -- VERY HURT IN THE SOUTH

DEAR VERY HURT: If you can ask your husband calmly why he changed his mind after promising you a new car and the money, that's the place to start. If that isn't possible, then you and your husband may need help from a licensed marriage and family therapist to restore the level of communication and trust the two of you enjoyed before he received his inheritance. (He can certainly afford it now.)

DEAR ABBY: People are always collaring me, cornering me and then talking my ear off. They drone on and on for long periods of time. Family does it, friends do it and so do strangers. It's a social situation I dread. It gives me a feeling of claustrophobia. Invariably, I can't get a word in edgeways. It's like people feel they have something to prove with me or are desperate for praise. I feel I can't extricate myself without appearing downright rude or cruel. This scenario happens SO often, I sometimes wonder if maybe something is tattooed across my forehead that encourages others to dominate me with their words. What can I do to stop people from chattering at me? -- DAVID IN TEXAS

DEAR DAVID: Here's how: Straighten your backbone. Tell the person, "Excuse me," AND MOVE. You may "need a drink, some food, to use the restroom or make a phone call." Or you may "need" to talk with someone else. The only thing you shouldn't do is just stand there.