DEAR ABBY: I have been married to "Frank" for 2 1/2 years. We met and married quickly. Best decision ever. We each had raised two daughters as single parents with different parenting styles. Our girls now range in age from 30 to 33. They are adults with lives and children of their own.

My daughters have accepted and come to love Frank. They have always been respectful and inclusive. In the beginning, his daughters treated me OK. But after six months, the older one decided I could not be around her children because I "don't like her." I always treated her respectfully and did many things for her and her kids -- babysitting, buying them things they needed, twice offering a place to stay when she was going through a divorce.

She was always the boss of her father, and he puts her first over all else. There were things they would do secretly and exclude me. Now he doesn't see them at all. They don't talk; they explode. I'm certain at some point I will be blamed for "keeping him away." I no longer want anything to do with her, but I encourage Frank to see his grandchildren. I'm an emotional mess over this. What do I do? -- BLENDING BADLY IN NEVADA

DEAR BLENDING BADLY: Because your husband's family dysfunction is affecting your emotional well-being, consult a licensed mental health professional to help rid yourself of this undeserved burden. Because someone chooses to blame you for something you haven't done doesn't mean you must accept it. If you still have a relationship with your husband's other daughter, concentrate on her and you will all be happier.

DEAR ABBY: I have a longtime friend who is the queen of the hypochondriacs. She is always sick or complaining that something is wrong with her, but she does nothing to improve her health. She has gone to holistic doctors for years, to no avail.

I suggested it's time for her to consult regular doctors, since holistic ones weren't helping and because she doesn't follow their advice anyway. She has made appointments with regular doctors but has too much anxiety to go.

She has been excluded from activities with friends because she's always sick, but doesn't understand why she has only one friend. She also talks incessantly about her abusive, narcissistic mother, but doesn't realize she is a bit narcissistic herself. Should I tell her what I think about her or just keep it to myself? -- PEEVED IN PENNSYLVANIA

DEAR PEEVED: If she is hesitant to see a doctor who might actually get to the cause of her problems, it's probably because she's afraid of what she might hear. Of course, people who procrastinate for years are more likely to get bad news than those who are determined to nip any problem in the bud.

If you can suppress your annoyance, instead of calling her something unpleasant, it would be more helpful to point out that hiding one's head in the sand is not an answer, and volunteer to go with her to her appointment. That's what a true friend does.

DEAR ABBY: My husband is tired of paying to keep my eggs frozen. He has seven children of his own. I know utility costs are through the roof these days, but I can't disagree with him more.

He meets up with his friends at the breakfast joint every weekend, and they drop a lot of money there. If he just reallocated his spending money, we could afford to continue freezing my eggs. I keep telling him, "You're spending money on the wrong eggs!" I'd like to have a baby within the next year. What should I do? -- FREEZING IN FARGO

DEAR FREEZING: If your husband doesn't already know how important having your own child is to you, now is the time to impress it upon him. I am sorry you didn't mention how long he has been paying for freezing your eggs, but if you hope to conceive next year, he can afford to continue paying a few months longer. Would his preference be that you remain childless? If that's the case and you have been misled, you might want to consult a family law attorney.

DEAR ABBY: I was invited to the wedding of my friend's daughter, "Alexa." Alexa and her fiance's registry requested only money to go toward a honeymoon. About a week before the wedding, I sent a monetary gift via their online wedding registry.

The next day, I heard the wedding had been postponed indefinitely, although they are still together. I feel the right thing for them to do is to return my money, but it appears they don't intend to do so. Should I ask for my gift to be returned? What is the protocol? -- TRICKED IN TENNESSEE

DEAR TRICKED: In light of the fact that the wedding (and honeymoon to which you contributed) have been canceled, you have every right to ask for your gift to be returned. Suggest it first to Alexa, and if the money isn't forthcoming, tell your friend. What her daughter did could be considered fraud.

DEAR ABBY: My girlfriend of 17 years is constantly coming at me looking for an argument lately. I can't figure it out for the life of me. We have built a nice life. We have a child together, a house and two dogs. She has recently been saying something about perimenopause, which I know nothing about. I love what we have and I don't want to lose it, but I have no clue how to fix it. Please advise me so I don't lose my family. -- FEARFUL IN NEW JERSEY

DEAR FEARFUL: Go online and search "perimenopause." This is a time in women's lives when our hormone levels are changing, which can affect sleep, mood and body temperature, among other things.

This is something every woman experiences sooner or later, and it's important you understand it. Volumes have been written on the subject, which will help you gain empathy and insight. Because this is causing challenges in your relationship, don't procrastinate. Start now.

DEAR ABBY: I lost 15 years of my daughter's life when her mother left the state we were living in without my knowledge. We had a boy and girl during our 15 years of marriage and had agreed to joint custody. We weren't supposed to move more than 50 miles from each other so the kids would be close to both of us.

Once my daughter turned 10, I didn't see her again until she was 25. When I finally located her, I realized they had moved down South. When we reunited, I learned that some of my relatives knew where my daughter was, and said nothing.

I recently went through a bout with cancer. Because my son thought I was going to die, he decided to clear his conscience. He admitted that at age 13, he told my ex to go ahead and leave the state so I couldn't have a relationship with my daughter. I love both my kids equally, but now I feel betrayed by my son. Any suggestions? -- SAD DAD IN THE MIDWEST

DEAR DAD: So your spouse used advice from her 13-year-old son to take your daughter and disappear, and even though some of your relatives knew you were searching for your child, they kept mum? I have heard of dysfunctional families, but yours takes the cake.

Was your son's motive for telling his mother to leave while he stayed behind with you because of sibling rivalry? Although he was immature at the time, from my perspective, I agree it was a betrayal. Getting past this may involve many months of counseling and the help of a licensed family therapist. If that's what you want, start now.

DEAR ABBY: I have a young adult neighbor who is a talented mechanic. He builds model autos and tries them out up and down our street. His latest is a three-wheel motorcycle, which he drives in the wrong direction, without a helmet. He also revs its motor constantly. I'm worried our street will become a hangout for more motorcycle enthusiasts.

I'm also concerned that if I ask him to stop, he'll get angry. I approached him once and reminded him of safety issues, but at that time he wasn't racing his motor. It's worse now because the noise is distracting, and he repeatedly passes my home. What would be a good neighborly response to this? -- IRRITATED IN MISSOURI

DEAR IRRITATED: Ask your other neighbors if they, too, are bothered by the noise. If the answer is yes, then approach the young man as a group and explain that, while his mechanical abilities are admirable, the noise when he revs his engine is distracting, and it would be appreciated if he didn't do it in the area of your homes.

If this doesn't remedy the problem, check the noise ordinances in your community to see if he is violating any of them. (The answer could be as simple as the young man installing a muffler on his bike.)