DEAR ABBY: I consider myself a modest woman in today's world. I have a new granddaughter that my daughter-in-law nurses anywhere, at any time, regardless of who she is around. I told my son she should cover herself in restaurants and other public places. I get embarrassed when she just pulls out a breast for anyone to see. She's European, and I understand it is more common there, but not so much in America. Am I overreacting? -- LOOKING AWAY IN CALIFORNIA

DEAR LOOKING AWAY: I think so. Nursing mothers are no longer relegated to feeding their infants in bathrooms as they were years ago. However, because you are embarrassed at the sight of your daughter-in-law nursing, consider leaving the table until she is finished to preserve your modesty.

DEAR ABBY: My wife and I were married 21 years ago. Since then, she has admitted to cheating with 10 different men. Each time, I stayed with her, hoping she'd change. I finally left 3 1/2 years ago because I couldn't take it anymore. She became homeless, but for the past year and a half she has been living with my daughter and me because I saw her on the street one day and she looked terrible.

We are now moving, and my daughter wants her mother to get a job (she's capable of getting one). My ex refused to get one to help pay the bills. Now I'm faced with another dilemma: Should I let her go on her own or fight for her to stay with us? My daughter is completely against her living with us. My income is limited. I'm on disability for a bad heart. My ex is 43, and I'm 58. Can you please advise? -- NOT LOOKING BACK IN COLORADO

DEAR NOT LOOKING BACK: Your daughter is right. You are disabled and on a limited income, and your ex-wife is able-bodied. With her out of there, your expenses will be lower. Nowhere in your letter did you mention that you still love this parasite, nor did you mention whether she has changed her ways. Your responsibility for her ended when the marriage did. Encourage her to reach out to her relatives for a place to stay, or guide her to a shelter. But not only should you let her go, you must find the strength to insist upon it.

DEAR ABBY: Often I find myself seated near people who either speak too loudly or talk constantly without stopping, both of which annoy me. This usually happens in restaurants, when I'm trying to enjoy a nice meal, although it also happened recently on a train. My seatmate was talking to the passenger across the aisle. What can be done in such situations, hopefully in a polite way? -- TRYING TO RELAX

DEAR TRYING: A restaurant patron can quietly ask to move his or her seat to a quieter location. On public transportation, you should have offered to give your seat to the person across the aisle so your seat partner could continue the conversation without shouting across.

DEAR ABBY: I'd like some advice about a family situation that has been going on for the entire 34 years of my marriage. My husband is not kind to my now-grown sons. He gives me the silent treatment for weeks over small disagreements. My eldest son visited us for my 75th birthday and, after receiving my spouse's cold shoulder, he informed me he won't be visiting again because of my husband's rude behavior.

I'm looking for a part-time job so I can pay off some bills and move out. I asked years ago that we put the house up for sale, divide the funds and go our separate ways. He said he'd burn down the house before he would allow me to get a penny from the sale.

I want to keep things calm, but I want to leave in another year with some proceeds from the sale of the house. We no longer sleep together and we talk less to avoid disagreements. I don't even want to cook for him, but I do it to avoid his negative reactions. What can I do? -- REACHED MY LIMIT IN CALIFORNIA

DEAR REACHED: Quietly consult an attorney and discuss the fact that you are in a very long, unhappy and emotionally abusive marriage. Tell the attorney your husband has threatened to burn down the home you share (that's arson) if it must be sold so you can have the half of the community property to which you are entitled. The attorney can guide you in gathering information such as bank account numbers, credit information and investments, if there are any, so your husband will be less able to hide financial assets.

If you fear your husband might become violent, contact the National Domestic Violence Hotline (1-800-799-7233) for help formulating a safe exit plan, and follow the instructions you are given. It's never too late to seek peace and happiness in your life, and I wish you luck.

DEAR ABBY: My son married a woman who has isolated him from his family and friends. We were an incredibly close family until he married her. They have a 5-year-old daughter who has been out of our lives for some time and it breaks my heart. During the times they were in our lives, we were always criticized for everything we said and did, and my son never talked to us or saw us without his wife there.

He was very close to his sister growing up but no longer has anything to do with her. I know it breaks her heart that her brother and niece are no longer in her life. A friend suggested I write a journal to hopefully show my granddaughter someday so she will know we always loved and missed her and her dad. I worry about my son no longer having his family and friends in his life, but I'm not sure what to do. -- HEARTBROKEN IN OREGON

DEAR HEARTBROKEN: Your idea of keeping a journal is a good one. But don't write in it hoping it will be seen by your granddaughter. Do it for yourself so you have an outlet into which you can pour the pain and frustration you are feeling. If you can't be with your grandchild, consider exploring opportunities in your community to mentor needy children, which can be rewarding not only for the children, but also for yourself.

DEAR ABBY: I live on the bottom floor of a duplex with my wife. My brother-in-law, his wife and their two sons, ages 4 and 2, are upstairs. Since the 2-year-old was born, he's been very rambunctious and fussy. I consider my BIL a good parent overall, but for a while now, I hear him blow up, scream, curse and shout at the younger child. I don't think it's healthy.

I have a hard time with it because of my upbringing, which left a mark. I grew up in a home ruled by intimidation. I am also a school counselor. The 4-year-old has a pronounced speech impediment that I'm hoping the school will help with. As an adult and someone who works with kids, it bothers me to hear this go on every day in our home.

I wouldn't dare to say anything to my BIL or SIL. I'm just worried about the boys. Will they be OK? Please, let me know what to do. We all want my nephews to be well, but I can't blur the line between counselor and aunt. -- FULL OF CONCERN IN THE EAST

DEAR FULL: Nothing will change unless you find the courage to speak out. Involve your wife in this. Both of you should talk to your brother-in-law and sister-in-law about how being intimidated from an early age affected your life. Suggest that if the kids are becoming more than your BIL can handle, he find a way to take a break from them until he calms down. The school may be able to help the older boy with his speech impediment, and you should make sure that the help is requested. Beyond this, there's nothing more you can do to change the unhealthy dynamic upstairs.

DEAR ABBY: I was in a relationship for 48 years. We lived together for 15 years, were married for 30 years and divorced three years ago. We have one married child, who has three children. Not all of our years together were glorious. We had our share of problems, and we just grew apart. Yes, we slept in the same bed and went on vacations, but there was no intimacy for a good 20 years. I would have to ask him for a hug or a kiss, which he would give, but I didn't feel loved. I love him, but I'm no longer in love with him.

I help him any time he asks. We live in the same town. I'm now wondering if our current relationship is a convenience. We share a meal a couple times a week, and he calls or texts almost daily. But he doesn't want me around his current group of friends.

I have my own outside interests, but I'm trying to figure out where I stand in his life. I think I'm OK with a friendship with him. We're both retired. For the record, I have no desire to date, nor do I want to put myself in that position. I dislike being out by myself after dark. Advice, please? -- MOVED ON IN NEW MEXICO

DEAR MOVED ON: If you want to know where you stand in your ex-husband's life, ask him. From my long-distance perspective, the two of you have four decades-plus of mutual experiences, and it's a relationship that has value. If you derive some pleasure from it, why throw it away? However, if maintaining a relationship with him prevents you from moving on in your own life, concentrate on widening your circle of friends and going forward independently.