DEAR ABBY: My husband and I have been married for six years. The problem is his sister and the emotional hold she seems to have on him. There have been several instances in which she has been disrespectful and invasive where OUR business is concerned.

When I object to my husband about it, his response is either that he's sorry or he acts like he doesn't understand why I find her behavior intrusive. When he talks to her on the phone, it's as if he feels compelled to tell her OUR business, i.e. financial status, which I have told him repeatedly is none of her business, to which he agreed. Yet he recently did it again.

He acts like he's afraid of her -- like she has some type of emotional hold on him. I'm about to blow a gasket. I want to revisit the subject in a way that he will FINALLY understand my point of view and not be so eager to share everything that goes on in our home. Any thoughts? -- PRIVATE PERSON IN ILLINOIS

DEAR PRIVATE: You and your husband were raised in two different kinds of families. His is more open; yours, not so much. I would be curious to know whether your husband divulges this financial information of his own volition, or if his sister quizzes him about it. Because this makes you uncomfortable and you have asked your husband to refrain from doing it, it may take professional mediation to get through to him. Please consider it.

DEAR ABBY: I lived in New York all my life. I moved to Florida a year ago because of my health and to be near my daughter and granddaughters. I have been depressed ever since I got here. I miss New York and my best friend very much. I can't sleep. I sit and cry and I have no motivation to do anything. My daughter has been great to me, but when I try to talk to my husband about how I feel, he doesn't care. He yells and walks away. I'm so confused. I feel I can't move on. Can you give me any advice? -- DISPLACED IN THE SOUTH

DEAR DISPLACED: Your reason for moving to Florida was a rational one. However, feelings are not always rational. Your move has placed you in a situation where the surroundings are unfamiliar and your support system (your best friend) is no longer there for you.

The symptoms you have described are those of a deep depression. Do not allow it to become chronic. Some sessions with a licensed mental health adviser may help you to adjust to your new circumstances so you can explore your options for more social interaction.

P.S. I wish you had asked me about the wisdom of relocating before you did it because I would have advised you to rent for a year to be sure you would be happy in Florida before making it permanent.

DEAR ABBY: I have been with my boyfriend for 11 years. In all this time he has never once asked me if I'm OK whenever I have gotten hurt. I got used to it, you might say. Well, I recently lost the ability to walk, and ended up in a nursing home for rehabilitation. My boyfriend would come to visit, but would never ask about progress. Furthermore, when I would show him my progress he wouldn't act happy.

Now I'm home, and he treats me like garbage. I don't know why. When I brought it up, he said he doesn't know why. Should I end this relationship so I can find someone who's supportive and who will help me get back to 100%? Or should I stay and work on this relationship? I'm less and less happy every day. -- HURTING IN THE MIDWEST

DEAR HURTING: Your boyfriend of 11 years is not a nurturer. That he doesn't ask if you are hurt or injured shows he lacks empathy. If I had to hazard a guess, I would opine that he treats you like garbage now because he's mad at you for needing his help and support. No amount of working on this will fix what's missing in his character. Unless you want to be treated like this for the rest of your life, get rid of him.

DEAR ABBY: I have a co-worker I share an office with. We are cordial, but not friends. The problem is she chews gum most of the day with her mouth open, and occasionally pops it. The noises she makes are extremely disturbing and they disgust me. I have taken to wearing headphones and listening to music as often as possible to tune out her noises, but it feels a bit rude and isn't practical for all day. I'm on the verge of snapping at her. Is there a kind way I can alert her of the problem without disrupting our working relationship? -- ABOUT TO POP OFF

DEAR POP: Have a congenial chat with this co-worker and ask her to let you know when she's going to pop in a piece of gum so you can pop on your headphones. It beats popping your cork in frustration.

DEAR ABBY: I'm friends with a man in his late 70s, 20 years my senior. I'm concerned about his mobility. He's an independent spirit who lives alone. Lately, I have noticed his strength and balance are diminished, and I know falls are serious for seniors. I have shared my worries with him, but he's proud and won't change his habits. Can you recommend a way I can talk to him constructively about my concerns? -- YOUNGER GUY IN CALIFORNIA

DEAR YOUNGER GUY: You have already tried discussing this with your friend. You might be able to get through to him if you TELL him you have noticed his balance issues, and that there is help for them IF he tells his doctor what's been happening. A physical therapist may be able to help him remedy his problem, but only if he asks.

DEAR ABBY: My 20-year-old niece, "Andrea," came to visit her grandmother wearing a nose stud. Andrea is quiet, is polite to her grandparents and aunt and is in her third year of college. Her grandmother is livid at her daughter for "allowing" the girl to do this. (It appears Andrea may be trying to rebel at this age.) Her grandmother is footing the bill for her college.

Who can help the grandmother to get her granddaughter to stop this behavior, and how? Andrea has never done anything like this before, and this is not like her. Her friends don't look or act like Goths or punks. This is so out of character. She earns good grades, and she is usually a quiet girl who never speaks to anyone other than her mom or brothers. Please advise. -- TAKEN ABACK IN NEW YORK

DEAR TAKEN ABACK: You keep referring to your niece as a "girl." Allow me to enlighten you: This "girl" is a young woman. If Granny has a bone to pick with Andrea about her choice of jewelry, she should discuss it with her instead of railing against her fashion choice behind her back. From my perspective, this is a tempest in a teapot. Let it blow over.

DEAR ABBY: I have two daughters, ages 29 and 24. Both are married and on their own. Recently, there was an issue between them. I always try to remain neutral in these situations because I love my girls equally.

The older one is hurt and angry and has every right to feel that way. She doesn't want to even look at her sister at this point, and I completely understand. (By the way, this has nothing to do with a man; both are happily married.) The younger one is embarrassed and ashamed and doesn't want to face her sister right now. Again, I understand.

On holidays and special occasions, I always cook a huge meal, and the girls come to my house. How do I handle this? I refuse to cook separate dinners or choose which one I eat my meal with. -- CHALLENGED MOM IN TENNESSEE

DEAR MOM: Tell your younger daughter that regardless of her "embarrassment," it's time to offer her sister a sincere apology. Then explain that you have no intention of having holidays and special occasions ruined because of what she did and you want things patched up before those events start happening. Period. After that, proceed as usual and let the girls work things out between themselves.

TO MY READERS: Happy St. Patrick's Day:

May there always be work for your hands to do.

May your purse always hold a coin or two.

May the sun always shine on your windowpane.

May a rainbow be certain to follow each rain.

May the hand of a friend always be near you.

May God fill your heart with gladness to cheer you. -- LOVE, ABBY