DEAR ABBY: While shopping at the mall, I have seen too many stressed-out parents ignore or yell at their children. It certainly isn't helpful. It isn't how I was raised or how I raised mine. Years ago, I saw a poem in your column that addressed the ramifications of bad parenting versus good parenting. From what I've been seeing, you should print it again. Many parents who should read it won't see themselves in it, but it could help the ones who do. Its message is so important. Thank you. -- JANET F. IN MINNESOTA

DEAR JANET: I know the poem you are referring to and I agree it sends an important message for parents. It's one of many profound poems and essays included in my "Keepers" booklet, which was compiled because so many readers requested reprints of their favorites. Read on:

CHILDREN LEARN WHAT THEY LIVE by Dorothy Law Nolte

If a child lives with criticism, he learns to condemn

If a child lives with hostility, he learns to fight

If a child lives with ridicule, he learns to be shy

If a child lives with shame, he learns to feel guilty

If a child lives with tolerance, he learns to be patient

If a child lives with encouragement, he learns confidence

If a child lives with praise, he learns to appreciate

If a child lives with fairness, he learns justice

If a child lives with security, he learns to have faith

If a child lives with approval, he learns to like himself

If a child lives with acceptance and friendship, he learns to find love in the world.

This is just one of the poems, essays and letters that appear in the Keepers booklet. Some are witty, others are philosophical.

The topics include children, animals, aging, parenting, death and forgiveness. It can be ordered by sending your name and address plus a check or money order (U.S. funds) for $8 to Dear Abby Keepers Booklet, P.O. Box 447, Mount Morris, IL 61054-0447. Shipping and handling are included in the price.

Filled with down-to-earth nuggets of wisdom, it's a quick, easy read and an inexpensive gift for newlyweds, pet lovers, new parents or anyone recovering from an illness because it covers a wide variety of subjects.

DEAR ABBY: I have been dating outside my marriage. My husband doesn't know. It's nothing serious -- just dinner, drinks and dancing. All the men have been single. I would never go out with a married man. All of them have respected my boundaries. I don't want to be unfaithful to my husband; I'm just having a little fun. Do you think a little goodnight kiss would be OK, to show my appreciation? -- SLIGHTLY NAUGHTY IN NEW MEXICO

DEAR SLIGHTLY NAUGHTY: No, I do not. A goodnight kiss would be no more appropriate than dating on the sly has been. A better solution would be for you to teach your husband to dance.

DEAR ABBY: A dear friend, "Lorraine," contacted me because her daughter "Gabby" came out to her as bisexual and Lorraine knew I had experience with "this type of thing." My daughter is bisexual.

Lorraine was repulsed by her daughter's revelation and upset that Gabby expected her to be supportive and wear pride stickers, etc. My friend didn't understand why she needed to be proud, and she told Gabby that even if she were a murderer she would still love her, and that was all that was important. I'm mortified and unsure how to handle this.

We fly my daughter's flag outside her window. We wear pride gear and celebrate Pride Month with her. I tried explaining to Lorraine that we are supporting our daughter's courage to come out and be comfortable and proud of who she is. When I said it, Lorraine snorted! Although we have been friends for many years, I never realized she felt this way.

I'm struggling with whether to break ties with her or continue trying to help her understand, love and support her daughter. Hearing the hate in her voice is extremely upsetting for me when we talk, but I hang onto a sliver of hope I can change her mind about this. Am I crazy to think that? -- CONFLICTED FRIEND IN FLORIDA

DEAR FRIEND: Whether you should maintain the relationship with Lorraine may depend upon how long she has known about Gabby's sexual orientation. If the news is fresh and Lorraine has led a sheltered life, she may be shocked and dismayed by the revelation. That said, the conversation you had with her can only have been painful and insulting for you. You must care for the woman a lot, because a lesser person would have hung up on her. If you feel there is hope, keep trying to enlighten your friend. It may have an impact. However, if it doesn't, draw the line.

DEAR ABBY: I am a young woman under 30 with three children. I have been married for five years. I just graduated from college. I have no direction (at least, don't think I do) of where I am going. I feel like a scared little bee in a room full of bears. All I know is I want to make an impact on my family and go forward, breaking generations that never graduated from college.

I look at some people who have the same degree I do, and they're working at discount department stores. It motivates me to buck that trend, but I don't know where to start. What would you do, Abby? -- MOTIVATED IN MARYLAND

DEAR MOTIVATED: If there is a career counseling service at the college from which you graduated, start there. Ask how you can apply the degree you earned in a way that will benefit your family. Because so many others have this same college degree, inquire about whether you need to work on a master's degree to gain employment in your field. Then get your husband on board, because you will need child care and financial help to achieve your goal. Check online for job resources and consider finding a temp job to help with family finances in the meantime.

DEAR ABBY: My boyfriend and I have been together six years. We are both divorced. We plan on being married in six months. He's a perfect partner except for one thing. Every holiday, he jumps out of bed in the morning and takes his phone with him into the bathroom. There he texts his ex-wife and ex-girlfriend. He feels the need to wish them a happy whatever holiday it is. This hurts my feelings.

I don't understand why it's so important for him to contact them. Apparently, they are the first thing on his mind every holiday, or maybe every day. I don't know if I should marry him. I believe he still loves his ex-wife. Help, please. -- SUSPICIOUS IN PENNSYLVANIA

DEAR SUSPICIOUS: I will assume that sometime over the past six years you have discussed this at least once with your boyfriend. This means he knows that when he jumps out of bed, takes his phone and hides in the bathroom to text his exes, it makes you feel insecure.

If you really think he may still be in love with his ex-wife, do not marry this person. Because the two of you intend to move on to the next level (engagement), it's time for you to seek premarital counseling. If you do, you will discuss topics such as money, child-rearing and whatever he is doing that makes you uncomfortable (and vice versa). It should help you avoid conflict once you are married.

DEAR ABBY: I live in a small town with a population of about 10,000. There is almost nothing to do here. There is a skating rink, a movie theater and a bowling alley. Since bowling in a league is a weekly thing, I joined one.

Our bowling center has been bought by a former professional bowler. She has formed a team consisting of herself, her fiance, her son and a friend who are all top-notch bowlers. Her son scores in the high 200s every game he bowls. Since they own the place, they get unlimited practice. The lady pro has taught them everything she knows. The rest of us don't stand a chance of winning a game against them. Should I just not care and think of it as a night out, and accept that when we bowl against the "big guns," as they have been referred to, we can count on losing?

It's true that it's not about winning; it's about having fun. But it's disheartening that we already know the outcome before the night begins. There are other leagues to bowl in. Maybe I should join one of those? If we all drop out one by one, I'm sure they will figure out what's going on. Any advice? -- AVERAGE BOWLER IN TENNESSEE

DEAR BOWLER: Talk to the new owner of the bowling alley and tell her how you and the other players feel. This is her livelihood, and she needs to know that it may be time to start a new league of less practiced bowlers like yourself. If she's a good businesswoman, she will be open to it. If she isn't, you and the others should take your business elsewhere.