DEAR ABBY: My brother-in-law and his fiancee, "Shana," have been dating for five years. They have a beautiful son and have a date set for their wedding. I have been with my husband for four years, and married for about a year. We did not have a grand wedding celebration, just a simple city-hall ceremony accompanied by a dinner with immediate family. However, Shana is having the opposite.
She has invited my husband to be part of the wedding, but not me. I'm very disappointed because I thought we got along rather well and I considered us friends. Aren't the brother and sister-in-law supposed to walk down the aisle together in the wedding ceremony? That's how I have seen other couples do it. My husband also finds it strange that Shana wouldn't ask me to be a part of the wedding. After all, I've been part of the family long enough. What do you think? -- OVERTHINKING IN NEW YORK
DEAR OVERTHINKING: Your husband will walk down the aisle to his brother because he is part of the wedding party. No rule of etiquette decrees that because you are a sister-in-law, you must be a part of the ceremony. If you had a simple wedding for financial reasons, you can always renew your vows in a grand fashion. Please don't blame your soon-to-be sister-in-law for not making you a bridesmaid. Ask her if there's any task you could perform -- a reading, perhaps -- to be involved and useful.