DEAR ABBY: I am a man who has been wearing lingerie for the past few decades. I discovered my love of panties when I slipped into my first pair at 17. At 22, I discovered the fun and sexiness of bras and other lingerie, and I wear them under my men's clothing.
I have gone through periods of love and alternating shame for being an "underdresser." I have confided this to a few women in my life and received mixed responses. Some were appalled; others were OK with it. My wife is in the first category. I told her while we were dating and modeled some for her. She thought it was "weird."
I tried, for her sake, to repress my desire to wear lingerie, but it has returned recently. I have been buying panties, bras and other items and wear them only at work or when I'm alone. I have found some solace in finally opening up to the women at the lingerie stores that what I am buying is for me, and I delight in the fact that they are accepting and help me find items I might like.
How do I approach this subject with my wife again and ask if she's open to me wearing lingerie and more often? -- LIVING IN LINGERIE
DEAR LIVING: You have already discussed this with your wife, and she has made her feelings known. Do not expect her to have become more understanding on the subject of "underdressing." You are not the only straight man who finds this practice to be pleasurable. Because this is something you really feel compelled to do, go online to research groups for cross-dressers in your area and join one.