DEAR ABBY: I used to have a great relationship with my mother-in-law. I considered her one of my best friends, until her severe drug and alcohol abuse began to ruin her life. Her mental health issues came out in full force, and her lashing out reached a peak shortly before I married her son. After a barrage of nasty messages, she was no longer welcome at our wedding. I have blocked her from contacting me. She occasionally reaches out to my husband to talk only about herself.

We are thinking about starting a family in the next few years, and I'm terrified of her having access to our child. Do we have an obligation to let her meet our child, or even let her know one exists? She was a terrible mother to my husband (the authorities had to step in, and she was incarcerated) and she relinquished rights to her other child. This screams to me that she shouldn't have access to any grandchildren.

After she verbally attacked me, I don't even want her to know if I become pregnant. My husband isn't completely on board with keeping her in the dark, but he agreed not to tell her anything without us being on the same page. He is a thoughtful husband, but feels bad about being asked to keep such a big secret. I'm filled with anxiety about her even knowing about a baby. I would greatly appreciate your advice. -- ANXIOUS IN WISCONSIN

DEAR ANXIOUS: When someone becomes pregnant, they do better with as little stress in their lives as possible. While I admire your husband's compassion for his volatile, unstable and abusive mother, he needs to accept that involving her in this chapter of your family life might not be the best decision for you or his child. If you can't get through to him, enlist the help of your doctor and someone with expertise in child development to help him understand that everyone will be healthier if she remains out of the picture. She may find out eventually, but you will be safe in the short term.

DEAR ABBY: I host an annual party for many longtime friends. Some of them bring their (small) dogs, and that's OK. My problem is, one friend brings their giant dog. The last time "Brutus" was here, it was seen snatching food off the kitchen counter and the dining table. I love this friend, but I don't love that dog in my kitchen and dining room.

Normally I would just say, "Please don't bring Brutus," but I can't. My friend is now blind and says Brutus is their Seeing Eye dog. (Brutus doesn't act like any Seeing Eye dog I've ever seen. He's very undisciplined.) I'm at a loss about what to do or say. Do you have any advice for me? -- AWKWARD IN CALIFORNIA

DEAR AWKWARD: Yes. Service dogs wear a harness or a vest. They also are trained not to leave their owner's side. They never behave the way Brutus has, so it's safe to assume this person may have been less than honest with you about their own status, as well as their dog's. My advice is to omit this person off your guest list, and if you are asked why, be truthful.

DEAR ABBY: My wife and I have been together 25 years and had an ideal marriage. She has recently become a dedicated baseball fan, or should I say, obsessed. She has season tickets and attends wearing her team outfit. She got a team license plate and scours the daily sports page for team news first thing every morning. She talks baseball with anyone anytime, including me, incessantly, despite my lukewarm interest.

At home on game day she has multiple TVs on, as well as her laptop and phone dialed to the game, lest she miss one second of play. She can talk about every player on a first-name basis, and their family in minute detail. When her team misses a play or loses, she gets irate and loudly curses at the TV. I worry she takes it too seriously.

She's now bringing her portable TV into bed for late games. Needless to say, thinking about baseball in the bedroom has thrown a curve to our marital bliss. When I bring up the interference, she argues that "most husbands" would be thrilled to be married to a "Gamer-Babe." Can you referee this disputed call? -- STRIKING OUT IN SAN FRANCISCO

DEAR STRIKING OUT: Tell your sports-obsessed wife that while most husbands would be thrilled to be married to a "Gamer-Babe," she isn't married to one of them. Tell her you love her, but you are oversaturated with statistics and need her to dial it back. Explain that the portable TV in the bedroom is interfering with your sex life, and if she values your marital relationship, she will respect that. Don't wait. Take your stand now, before baseball season starts again.

P.S. In self-defense, arm yourself with new interests of your own because I have a feeling you are going to need them.

DEAR ABBY: I have a lovely life -- a wonderful husband and five caring children entering adulthood. I have a successful career I am well compensated for. The problem I face is that at 47, my health is such that I live every day in debilitating pain. I spend my energy getting through my day and evenings, and weekends in pain and recovering from my work week.

My husband is understanding, but friends and family don't understand. I don't know how much longer I can continue this, but I don't know how to give up a well-paying career without which my family's quality of life would considerably change. Any advice would be greatly appreciated. -- TRYING TO REST IN MIDWEST

DEAR TRYING: Whether your friends and family "understand" the challenges you are dealing with is beside the point. I will assume that you have talked at length about this with your husband. Your next step should be to talk with your physician about a referral to a pain-management specialist. If you are unable to find relief there, you may have to take the financial hit. Although it may mean your family will have to make do with less, your quality of life is important, too.

DEAR ABBY: I have a problem I just can't identify. I suppose it's a combination of a lot of issues. I live with my boyfriend and work from home. When it comes to patience about almost anything, I have the shortest fuse. Simple things trigger me, and I flare up quickly.

If I see someone driving faster than me on the road, I resent it. Something on TV or even the wrong food will trigger me. My boyfriend takes the brunt of it. Other than my lack of patience and flying off the handle, everything is going relatively well. How can I get a grip and stop overdoing it when I get angry? -- SHORT FUSE IN NEW MEXICO

DEAR SHORT FUSE: You need to deal with two separate issues. Your tendency toward competitive driving is dangerous to your health and others you encounter on the road. Our streets and highways are dangerous enough without motorists treating the privilege of driving as a competition.

The purpose of driving is to arrive at one's destination safely rather than to compete with other commuters. When your stomach starts to tighten, ask yourself: "Could something other than road conditions be what's bothering me?" Then give yourself a pat on the back for your insight and ease up on the accelerator.

Although your boyfriend may have the patience of a saint, unless you learn to control your impulses, you will drive him and others away. There, too, it's important to identify what may really be making you fly off the handle. "The wrong food" or "something you saw on TV," while frustrating, are excuses -- not necessarily the cause.

I publish a booklet, "The Anger in All of Us and How to Deal With it." It contains suggestions for managing and constructively channeling anger or frustration in various situations. It can be ordered by sending your name and address, plus a check or money order for $8 (U.S. funds) to Dear Abby Anger Booklet, P.O. Box 447, Mount Morris, IL 61054-0447. Shipping and handling are included in the price.

It takes self-control to react maturely without exploding. If the suggestions in my booklet do not help you overcome your problem, consider discussing it with a licensed mental health professional. Becoming more in touch with your emotions will help you not only calm yourself without losing it, but also maintain the respect of others.

DEAR ABBY: I am a sophomore in high school, and I recently got into a relationship. This isn't my first rodeo when it comes to this type of stuff, but in this instance, the guy I'm dating has never been in a relationship before. This is his first time. Because I've done this before, I know what to do in certain situations and understand social cues. How do I go about teaching him about certain aspects in a relationship? Like, how do I get him to make the first move and things like that? -- WONDERING IN CALIFORNIA

DEAR WONDERING: Be patient. Don't pressure him. Remember, everyone advances at their own rate. If what you want is a kiss, ask him for one. With a little help from you, I'm sure he will figure it out.