DEAR ABBY: My brother and his husband are getting ready to file for divorce. Before they do, however, they are embarking on a very expensive trip to Italy. It was paid for before the divorce conversations started.

When they travel, I fly into the town where we both grew up, watch their home and dogs and spend time with old friends. Because of the difficulties facing travelers at this time, I like to come into town a few days early, in case there are any delays with my flight, so none of us has to worry about the dogs being alone.

I arrived last night. My brother left for the weekend to spend time with his new gent, and my brother-in-law has invited his new gent over for dinner tonight. My concept of etiquette demands that I be friendly and welcoming of these new people in my brother's and brother-in-law's life. However, it is awkward.

Yes, I know divorce happens. But my brother-in-law is just as much a part of my family in my eyes as my brother. Are there any rules or thoughts regarding these new relationships as marriages end and new relationships begin? -- SUPPORTIVE SISTER IN ARIZONA

DEAR SISTER: Your brother and his (almost) former husband appear to be handling their soon-to-be dissolution in a civil manner -- VERY civil, if they're taking a pre-divorce European vacation together. If they part as friends, your chances of maintaining a friendship with your (almost) former BIL are better.

Keep an open mind and be gracious when you meet the new man in your brother's life. Avoid gossip, cross your fingers and hope for the best for everyone. That's all you can do. From the tone of your letter, I am sure you can handle this, Sis.

DEAR ABBY: My 57-year-old husband is consumed with watching videos on his cellphone. This is like an addiction for him. He spends hour after hour of his home time with his phone in hand watching all kinds of videos. I have tried talking to him, mentioning that this distraction is taking away from any time we have together. His response to me is a blank look. Nothing more.

I told him once that if we had a child, we certainly would not allow our child to spend anywhere near as much time watching videos on the phone, tablet or computer. Again, a blank look. He doesn't regard his excessive screen time as a problem. I certainly do. What can I do or say? I'm at the end of my rope. -- SECOND TO THE SCREEN

DEAR SECOND: Your husband gives you a blank look because he's so engrossed in this entertainment he doesn't realize how much time he's actually spending on his cellphone. By the way, he isn't alone in having that problem. It's shared by people of all ages. The reasons can range from being caught in "email hell" for hours to using it as a deliberate escape from reality.

Because you have reached the end of your rope and have become virtually a widow, tell your husband that if he wants to continue being married, he must consent to marriage counseling. And, if he gives you another blank look, consult a lawyer.

DEAR ABBY: My husband of 2 1/2 years was having an affair with a much younger woman for what I believe was about two months. I never suspected. It ended because he got caught. I was devastated and asked him to leave that night. He always seemed uninterested in sex, and when we had sex, it was quick. He had difficulty performing so, of course, I was extra shocked.

We went to marriage counseling, which didn't help. I decided to stay with him, but I'm miserable. I can't get over the fact that he cheated, and I bring it up all the time. I no longer trust him and wonder why I stay. I love him and I don't at the same time. I feel stuck.

I was married before, and I feel like a failure. I'm in good physical shape, financially successful and loving. What went wrong? I always felt he was hiding something, but he swears he wasn't. He says this was the first time he's cheated on a woman and he was confused. I wish I had the courage to leave, but I feel defeated because I just turned 60. Please help. -- DEPRESSED AND HOPELESS IN INDIANA

DEAR D and H: You are not a failure. Your husband is. The surest way to find out "what went wrong" and begin rebuilding your self-esteem would be to discuss this entire scenario by yourself with a licensed marriage and family therapist. The reason you haven't left this marriage may be that you are self-conscious about your age or think nothing is worse than being alone. Life does not end at 60, and THIS is worse than being alone.

DEAR ABBY: I'm a 55-year-old male with five siblings ranging from 45 to 63 years of age. I'm the only one who is single. I don't live close to any of them, although they live reasonably close to each other. I'm in regular contact with all of them and see them at least once a year.

My issue is that I'm tired of hearing about all their family drama. They all seem to be upset with one family member or another for whatever ridiculous reason. How can I remind them that having each other around is a blessing? Living alone on the other side of the country is (admittedly) very lonely.

I plan on retiring in the next couple of years and had always thought I'd move closer to them then. But now I'm afraid of becoming one of the pawns in their "who are we all mad at this month?" game. Advice? -- BROTHER WITH A DIFFERENCE

DEAR BROTHER: Few families are completely free of "issues," but successful ones manage to maneuver around them. Reminding your siblings how fortunate they are to have each other so close geographically should be raised privately with each of them, so you can explain your reasons for saying it. It might be the wake-up call they need. Use the next two years to decide where you want to live without being "too close," and plan on cultivating relationships outside the family through activities you enjoy so you are not completely dependent on them.

DEAR ABBY: While my sister was incarcerated, she was evicted from her residence. She asked me if I would pack her belongings and store them for her in my garage for a couple of weeks until she got out, which I did. Well, a couple of weeks turned into a couple of months.

She's out now, living here and there, and looking for a job or a permanent place to stay. In the meantime, her belongings are still in my garage. It's taking up considerable space and starting to smell. I need to prep my house as I plan on selling it in the near future.

I constantly ask her about removing her belongings and what her plans are, but she doesn't seem concerned about them and no longer communicates with me. During our last conversation, I gave her two weeks to get a place to move them or I would dispose of them. She said she'd get back to me, but hasn't.

She doesn't seem to want to get a job or take responsibility for herself or her stuff. I feel she's being inconsiderate and selfish. I know she has some keepsake items in the boxes. I hate to dispose of them, but I cannot store her stuff much longer. What should I do? -- FRUSTRATED IN WISCONSIN

DEAR FRUSTRATED: Inform your sister that if her things are not out of your garage by a certain date that you will have them removed by a junk-removal service. It isn't free, but it will solve your problem about readying your property for sale.

DEAR ABBY: My daughter is married to a textbook narcissist. He's controlling, easily offended and creates drama out of the most innocent scenarios. There is never enough you can do for him, and he never gets enough praise. We have put up with him for the sake of a relationship with my daughter and three grandchildren.

My daughter adores him and goes along with everything he dishes out. She has no friends except online. He alienated all her friends and has tried to distance her from her family as well. Before her marriage she had many friends and enjoyed an active social life.

They live in the same small town as we do. I know calling his bluff will mean I'll be cut off from my daughter and grandchildren. It goes without saying he is manipulative and emotionally abusive. I'm at the end of my rope. Please advise. -- WATCHING A DISASTER

DEAR WATCHING: If you are the only family your daughter has left, it's important you maintain her tie to you. From this vantage point, as odious as it may be, you can monitor what goes on with her and your grandchildren. You stated that she adores her husband and has accepted the conditions upon which her marriage is based. If that should ever change, you will want to be present in her life so you can help her. Hold your nose and stay the course.

TO MY READERS: The eight days of the Jewish holiday of Hanukkah begin at sundown. Happy Hanukkah, everyone! A joyous Festival of Lights to all of us. -- "LATKES" OF LOVE, ABBY