DEAR ABBY: I'm a high school junior in a predicament. Early in my sophomore year, during a school trip, I developed strong feelings for a girl named "Joelle." She's a grade ahead of me, meaning I don't see her often or have many chances to talk to her during school except for the occasional chance meeting.

Because of our lack of contact, I thought my feelings were subsiding, so I started a relationship with another girl, "Amber." However, shortly after beginning this new relationship, I had a long conversation with Joelle and quickly realized I'm in love with her.

While I still have feelings for Amber, it crushes me not to be with Joelle. To make matters worse, if I end things with Amber, there's no guarantee Joelle would give me a chance -- she's bisexual (but primarily lesbian) and she's close friends with Amber. I don't want to throw away my relationship with Amber over what may amount to a pipe dream, but I really am in love with Joelle. Please help. -- JUMBLED HEART IN SAN FRANCISCO

DEAR JUMBLED: Amber deserves better than to be involved with a guy who is in love with someone else. Because Joelle is not only "primarily" lesbian but also close friends with Amber, do not pin your hopes on anything but friendship with her. Ever. You have two more years of high school ahead of you. During that time, you are going to meet other attractive young women who will return your feelings. These two aren't that.

DEAR ABBY: My daughter is being married in a month. Her fiance is Canadian. We have reserved a block of rooms for guests who are coming from afar. I understand the importance of the groom's mom being here for the ceremony, so when I was told she couldn't afford the hotel, I offered to pay for her room for the Thursday, Friday, and Saturday so she could be here.

My daughter now says his mother is asking for Sunday night, too. I replied that she could reserve it and pay for it herself or request a late checkout on Sunday. I don't have room for her to stay in my home, and I think I am generous to be paying for her hotel stay in the first place, let alone three nights. Is the bride's family obligated to pay for this? -- ASKING FOR TOO MUCH

DEAR ASKING: Are you obligated? Certainly not. It is presumptuous for the groom's mother to expect that you would. If she's unable to pay for the extended accommodations, her son should step up to the plate.

DEAR ABBY: I've been married 25 years. My husband just took up golf and working out at the club. He takes his wedding ring off for both activities, and then he sometimes forgets to put it back on. When we are heading out for dinner or an event, I ask, "Where's your ring?" He then runs back into the house to put it on. What do you make of this? -- PERPLEXED IN ILLINOIS

DEAR PERPLEXED: Depending upon your husband's workout, it's possible that the wedding ring could get in the way or be scratched. It may also interfere with his swing while he's playing golf. It is also possible that he doesn't like wearing a wedding ring. What I make of this is of less importance than what the two of you make of it. It's time for a calm, honest discussion.

DEAR ABBY: My boyfriend of two years works for a company with 160 employees, 95 miles from our town. He held a party at a restaurant located near the company. I knew no one and doubt very much I will ever run into these people again.

While I was at the party, I met a young woman who, like myself, was there with her boyfriend and didn't know anyone. We chatted for half an hour about the holidays and made general conversation. When she mentioned she had been recently diagnosed with a condition I have, too, I gave her some websites to check out for information and told her not to worry. I also told her that if I can be well and deal with this issue, anyone can. Our conversation lasted about 15 minutes, and I asked no personal questions. When I had to leave the party, she remained sitting by herself and started playing with her phone.

The next day, my boyfriend was angry because upon leaving with her boyfriend, the woman told him, "Your girlfriend kept nagging me about my condition and wouldn't shut up." I was dumbfounded and hurt. I was trying to be nice. Why did my boyfriend tell me? He said nothing to her to defend me. Even worse, what did he accomplish by repeating what she had said? He knew it would make me feel bad. I'll never run into these people again. Am I wrong in feeling hurt? -- DUMBFOUNDED IN THE EAST

DEAR DUMBFOUNDED: I am still trying to figure out why someone would tell a stranger at a party her medical status and then take offense if the person tried to be helpful. If what you were saying made her uncomfortable, she should have said it to you, not your boyfriend. You aren't wrong for feeling hurt. However, you are wrong to blame your boyfriend for telling you something he thought you needed to hear. That's what people who love each other do.

DEAR ABBY: My partner and I have been together for 11 years, living together for seven. He's a Realtor in his hometown. I had a stroke four years ago, which forced me into early retirement. Real estate is a dog-eat-dog occupation. Paychecks are few and far between, so I pay the rent and all the household bills. He pays his personal bills and the costs of doing business as a Realtor.

He is currently broke and doesn't have the money to pay his personal bills. I refuse to pay them. I think he should get a part-time job to pay his own bills, but he refuses. Of course, there will be a backlash, and he'll blame me. He will lose his car, telephone, real estate license, health and car insurance, etc.

I have bailed him out before, but I am no longer willing to do it because I'm running out of what money I had set aside for retirement. He already owes me thousands of dollars in several loans, which I don't expect to recover. What do I do? I don't want to split up or continue to argue over this. -- PLANNING AHEAD

DEAR PLANNING: Your "partner" refuses to look for a part-time job so he can be self-supporting and not dependent on you? Dear lady, you may not want to split up after this amount of time, but your partner is a luxury you can no longer afford. Stop arguing, accept it and move on.

DEAR ABBY: What is a proper tip to leave a server at an all-you-can-eat buffet? They bring water and bus the table, but we get our own food and drinks. They certainly don't work as hard as servers in a sit-down restaurant. -- WONDERING IN THE EAST

DEAR WONDERING: The employees you describe are also "working hard." If you're eating in the restaurant, leave a couple of dollars for the bussers who are clearing the dishes. If you receive service in addition to that, leave 10%.

DEAR ABBY: I have been with my boyfriend for three years, and it has been great. However, he has serious anger issues that affect our relationship sometimes. It started with small arguments here and there. But as our relationship progressed, so did his mood swings and anger.

He has never hit me. Lately, though, his anger has gotten worse, and he says cruel things to me that he later apologizes for. During our arguments, he never listens to what I have to say. When the argument is over and I wait a couple days to explain how he hurt my feelings, he tells me I'm overly sensitive and to leave the past in the past.

During our last argument, he asked me how to seek professional help. How can I help him? Am I dumb staying with someone like this? Although I love him, I don't know how long I can last with someone who is so angry all the time. -- BROKEN IN CALIFORNIA

DEAR BROKEN: Ask your doctor or your insurance provider for a referral to a psychologist who can either help your boyfriend or get him into an anger-management class. He definitely needs professional help, and it's good that he knows it.

Although my knee-jerk impulse would be to tell you to end the relationship, that he is self-aware enough to know he needs help makes me inclined to suggest you stick with him a little longer and see how effective the therapy is. But please know that verbal abusers often become physical abusers if they don't receive help, and the verbal bashing is terrible for your self-esteem.

DEAR ABBY: I recently served on a committee to hire a professional-level staff member for my organization. Eligible candidates are required to possess a bachelor's degree or higher. We received more than 30 applications and decided to bring in three candidates for interviews who looked great on paper.

One of them had his phone on and it repeatedly buzzed with incoming messages during the interview. Another, when asked if she had any questions for us, pulled her phone out of her jacket pocket and started swiping the screen saying that she had some questions on her phone. Abby, she had a notepad open in front of her, so why didn't she have her questions written on that?

I found it unsettling that these two candidates couldn't disengage from their phones long enough to participate in a job interview! It made me wonder if they could disconnect from their cellphones long enough to do the job, if hired. Am I showing my age -- and value system -- in thinking that a job interview should be a phone-free zone? What's the etiquette in such a situation? -- UNIMPRESSED IN THE SOUTH

DEAR UNIMPRESSED: The "etiquette" is that a job candidate should be prepared before a job interview. Cellphones should be turned off or put on silent mode during the interview so they won't cause a distraction. Make sure the applicant understands this before the interview begins. As for Candidate Two, ideally she should have written her questions on the notepad she brought with her, although members of her generation often put things like that on their cellphones. A younger interviewer may have let this slide. You didn't. Next candidate!