DEAR ABBY: I met my boyfriend online last year. He lives in the U.K.; I'm in the U.S. I love him dearly and we talk about moving in together within the next year. The original plan was for him to emigrate, since I am closer to my family and have an established job. However, I'm a bit worried because he doesn't drive. It's not just because of the learning curve it will take to switch sides of the road, but he doesn't drive in the U.K. either.
I recently asked him why he doesn't, and he said he's worried he will relapse. He was addicted to drugs when he was young but has been clean for years. I don't judge him for his past; I'm proud of who he is now. But I'm worried about having to drive both of us when we live together because my city doesn't have the best public transportation. Is there a way to bring up trying to drive in the U.S. without putting him in a bad spot? Or is there no way around this? -- ONLY DRIVER IN THE MIDWEST
DEAR ONLY DRIVER: Has this person been to the U.S. to visit you before? If he hasn't, and doesn't have a job that would prevent it, why not invite him to stay for three or four weeks? That way you could decide if providing all of his transportation would be workable and not too stressful in the long term for you.
Frankly, I don't see the connection between his former drug habit and his concern about driving an automobile. The two of you need to get to know each other a lot better before either of you decides to uproot your lives and relocate. If your relationship continues to grow, it might make more sense for you to move to the U.K.