DEAR ABBY: I have been married 30 years. Our marriage has been a happy one. My husband supports me through everything. Our problems come up in the bedroom. A few years ago, he wanted to add "spice" to our relationship with a threesome. I agreed to try it if it would make him happy.
Now every time we make love he wants to talk about another man being in our bed. I have tried explaining that I do not enjoy this all the time. It has reached the point that I no longer get turned on. He can start out beautifully. I am turned on and we start. Then he wants me to talk to him about another man being there, and I shut down. When I try to explain it to him, he gets angry or frustrated.
How do I keep my marriage going without losing my husband to a younger woman, and add some spice to my marriage bed without talking about threesomes? I love him and I don't want to lose a marriage we have fought to keep together through thick and thin. Please, help me keep my marriage together. -- LOST AND FRUSTRATED
DEAR LOST AND FRUSTRATED: If ever I heard about a couple who need to talk to a licensed marriage and family therapist -- as well as a sex therapist -- it's the two of you. Sex is supposed to be enjoyable for both partners, not just one. Many straight men's fantasies involve another woman in the marriage bed. That your husband cannot be aroused without having you talk about another man raises questions about the nature of his sexual fantasies that I cannot address.