DEAR ABBY: Punctuality is important to me. My husband has many great qualities, but punctuality is not one of them. We have been married 20-plus years and, after many discussions, have not been able to come to agreement on this. We are late to church almost every Sunday and to most parties and family events.
I think it's rude to keep people waiting, and it gives me anxiety. I have tried taking separate cars but think, as a couple, we should arrive together. It seems like when I try to urge him to hurry, he purposely slows down. It has reached the point where we are angry at each other by the time we finally arrive anywhere. Any advice? -- HARE MARRIED TO TORTOISE
DEAR HARE: Yes. Take the separate cars. No one cares whether you arrive "together" or not, unless you are going to a dinner party. And if your husband will be late for that, assure your hosts that it isn't necessary to wait for him to arrive. To the extent you can, try fudging the event time. But until he suffers the consequences, his behavior will not change.