DEAR ABBY: I made a friend six years ago on social media. We have never actually met in person, but we have stayed in touch. She began contacting me on a daily basis about a year ago, which was great at the time, because I took a few years off work to care for my baby. It was lovely to converse with another adult as a stay-at-home parent. She's a very nice lady who is old enough to be my mother but, unfortunately, suffers from severe agoraphobia. She rarely leaves her house. Her window to the world is her cellphone.

Her family keeps their distance from her because she has a tendency to be judgmental, condescending -- even sometimes downright rude. She's been directing this sort of behavior at me lately. I have always tried to be patient and compassionate because she can be so sweet. I feel sorry for her because she doesn't have anyone in her life. However, I'm growing very tired of her negativity and constant complaints.

I have just returned to work and have had less time to converse with her. I feel guilty about it because I'm actually happier the less we talk. I still care for her, but I want less contact with her. What can I do without hurting her feelings or gradually "ghosting" her? -- CHANGE OF HEART

DEAR CHANGE: Not only have you had a change of heart, but you have also had a change of circumstances because you are back at work. Tell the woman, as kindly as possible, that you are unable to continue talking as long or as often as you did before. If she responds in a rude, judgmental or condescending way, tell her the truth -- that you refuse to be treated that way -- and end the call. If you do, either her behavior will change, or she will ghost you.

DEAR ABBY: Every year, my brother and his wife have come to visit us. They stay for two weeks. The first words out of my sister-in-law after "hello" were, "I'm not doing a thing because I'm on vacation!" My response was, "We are all retired, so every day is a vacation."

Abby, she is rude, nags my brother and asks him if he has showered, changed his underwear, etc. She treats him like a child, and "reminds" everyone else how smart she is. When they visit, she expects everyone to wait on her because of the distance they've traveled. We feel three days is long enough. How do I tell them without hard feelings this is not an acceptable length of time to stay? -- NO SERVANT IN NORTH DAKOTA

DEAR NO SERVANT: May I be frank? With someone like your self-entitled sister-in-law, you should expect hard feelings as you roll back the welcome mat. Tell your brother and his wife that while you love them, you are unable to accommodate them for longer than three days and, if they wish to stay in your city longer than that, they will need to arrange other accommodations. Then batten down the hatches, prepare for a storm and stick to your guns without arguing or explaining further.

DEAR ABBY: I must be the worst grandma in the world because I do not like my grandson. He's 16, rude, disrespectful, has no manners and his hygiene is almost nonexistent. When I mention my concerns to my son, he says, "I'm working on it." My daughter-in-law refuses to discuss it and just walks away.

We live in different states, so I don't have a lot of interaction with the boy. But when I must, I don't enjoy it. In fact, I find spending time with him very stressful. Any suggestions? -- BAD GRANDMA IN COLORADO

DEAR GRANDMA: If you visit, display your own good manners when dealing with your grandson and impart whatever advice you can. His behavior may improve by the time he is out of his teens. However, if it doesn't by the time he's 21, at least you'll know you tried.

DEAR ABBY: I need help navigating a situation that comes up periodically and usually leaves my sister in tears. She has a very small wardrobe because she travels all the time, so when she's in town, she'll often ask to borrow my clothes. She's similar in proportions to me and in good shape, but she's 4 inches taller than I am. That means a lot of my clothes are too tight on her.

If I refuse when she asks to borrow my things, she gets upset and says I don't trust her. If I say yes and she tries something on that's a little small, she gets upset about being "too fat." I feel like I can't win. I do trust her, and I don't want her to have a negative image of her body. What should I do the next time she asks to borrow something? -- TRYING TO BE A GOOD SISTER

DEAR TRYING: The next time it happens, "remind" her that although your proportions are similar, they are not identical. Then suggest she store some of her own clothes at your place so she'll have more choices the next time she's back in town.

DEAR ABBY: My wife and I have wonderful friends and neighbors. We go out to dinner and concerts, and vacation together. They are smart, funny, charming folks. But there's one problem. When we go out to dinner, we always agree to split the check regardless of who had what to eat. On more than one occasion, I put in 50% of the bill but they often bring a coupon or discount card they apply only to their half.

If I had a coupon, I would share it with them so we would all benefit, so I find it kind of irksome that they don't. We are all on fixed incomes but no one is desperate for money. My wife says I should let it go and just focus on the enjoyable evening. I wish I could, but it bugs me. Any advice on how to view this without letting it annoy me? -- FRIENDS SHOULD SHARE

DEAR F.S.S.: Your friend appears to be a bit selfish, and I can't blame you for feeling annoyed. The way to deal with it would be to ask for separate checks when the server takes your order. But be prepared for the conversation that is sure to ensue about why you are breaking with "tradition."

DEAR ABBY: I have been separated from my husband for a year and a half. The divorce became final five months ago. He had major mood swings, and was nice one minute and hateful the next. We have two children together.

I have a boyfriend I've been seeing for about a year. We are casual, but monogamous. Suddenly, my ex is being really nice, telling me he loves me and if I "change," he'd want me to come back. He has a lot of changing to do as well, and he acknowledges that. Lately, he has been asking to come over to cuddle, he says, for some type of human contact. I doubt my boyfriend would agree this is a good idea. Sex is not on the table, and everyone knows that. What do you think? -- MOVING ON IN ARKANSAS

DEAR MOVING: I think it's a terrible idea. It isn't your job to cuddle with your ex so he has human contact. Unless you actually plan to reconcile with him, do not buy what he's trying to sell. Tell him you will always want a cordial relationship with him -- for the sake of the children -- but it's time he finds himself a girlfriend to cuddle with.

DEAR ABBY: My wife and I enjoy wine and the tasting and selecting of fine vintages. We also enjoy learning more about and tasting fine spirits like single malt scotches and Kentucky bourbon. The challenge is, my wife pours whiskey like it's wine. She fills a glass halfway to the brim and drinks these spirits at the same pace she would drink wine. As you can imagine, she quickly becomes very intoxicated.

She seems unaware that her behavior changes when she's drinking large volumes of spirits. I don't think she's an alcoholic because she goes for weeks without drinking. But when she does, the amount of whiskey she imbibes makes her very drunk. There have been times at social events when I had to intervene because her behavior became erratic. This is new behavior and I'm concerned she is developing a dependence. What strategy can I take to discuss this with her? -- WHISKEY'S NOT WINE IN OREGON

DEAR W.N.W.: Your wife appears to have gone from a connoisseur to a binge drinker. If you haven't pointed out that her behavior changes after she drinks large quantities of hard liquor (how many ounces do those glasses hold?), you should. That you have had to intervene in social situations should be a clue to both of you that she can't handle the amount she's drinking.

Because this is new behavior, it should be discussed with her doctor. It could be a symptom of a physical problem or even her age. Her doctor can explain how drinking large amounts of alcohol can damage her health, safety and cognition, and recommend a path to follow. Please don't procrastinate, because this is serious.

DEAR ABBY: I have been married to the same woman for 20 years. We are happy together. I have a skin condition called NF1 and have tumors all over my body except my legs and face (those were removed a number of years ago).

I still have a number of them on my arms that I want taken off. But my wife says she's happy the way I am, and when she met me, she was OK with the way I was. However, for my own self-confidence I want them gone. Should I stay as I am or have them removed? -- TORN IN TENNESSEE

DEAR TORN: That your wife loves you "just the way you are" is wonderful. But it's just as important that YOU love yourself the way you are. If you would feel happier and more confident having the growths removed, you should do it.