DEAR ABBY: I have had an older man as a roommate for two months now. He's very kind and intelligent. He also has dementia. I didn't realize it when he moved in. He's estranged from his family, although I know of a few people he does talk to on the phone.

As his condition worsens, so does his memory and his ability to understand simple explanations. I'm afraid that, as this continues, I'll be obligated to take care of him. I am not capable of doing it, nor do I desire to. I don't know how to handle this because I have asked him previously whom I should contact "in case of emergency" and got no reply. Help, please. -- UNEQUIPPED IN FLORIDA

DEAR UNEQUIPPED: Initiating a conversation with your roommate about your concerns is critical, particularly while he is in early stages of dementia. Be open and honest about your capabilities and find out what his plans are for long-term care as his dementia progresses. Ask if his friends or family know about his dementia and if they are part of his care team.

Stress to him the importance of making future care plans now, while he has a voice and control over these decisions. As his dementia progresses, these decisions will become increasingly difficult, and left undone, others might have to make decisions for him. While it's important for you to press for answers to these important questions, try to be supportive. Your roommate may be having trouble coming to grips with his dementia. Fear, anxiety or even anger may be preventing him from taking steps to address it.

The Alzheimer's Association website (alz.org) is a valuable resource for people living with the disease, as well as for their families and care partners. Those in early stages of the disease can find help there, including access to local support groups and care resources. It also has a free 24/7 Helpline (1-800-272-3900) that provides reliable information and guidance for all who need support navigating their personal experiences with Alzheimer's or another dementia.

DEAR ABBY: I have been married for 32 years. Back in the mid-1990s, my husband cheated on me. A little over a year ago the woman he cheated with reached out to me via social media to apologize. She said she is now sober, has found religion and is trying to mend her wrongdoings. I never responded to her because I didn't know what to say. I don't hate her, but in my mind, if I say I forgive you, it's like I'm agreeing with what she did -- and I don't. How do you tell someone you don't forgive them? -- APOLOGY NOT ACCEPTED

DEAR A.N.A.: Nothing requires you to say anything to the woman. However, if you decide to break your silence, the comment you made in your letter, "I don't hate you, but in my mind, if I say I forgive you, it's like I'm agreeing with what you did -- and I don't," would suffice. It's succinct, polite and conveys your feelings accurately. But don't hold onto the grudge, because it is not healthy -- for you.

DEAR ABBY: Two years ago, at a national conference, I bumped into a woman I had dated decades ago. We started dating again, even though she lives in Phoenix and I live in the Midwest. The geographical distance between us is challenging, but we made it work through phone calls and traveling to see each other at least once a month.

It was working so well that we began discussing my relocating to Arizona so we could move in together. I thought that was our future until earlier this week. My lady friend just told me she wants to reduce the number of phone calls we've been having each week to three or less. She explained she needs more time to herself to deal with "challenges" she has been facing, and everything is fine with our relationship.

I was shocked because we had been talking two or more times a day as well as exchanging text messages. We have both faced significant challenges during our relationship and we had used our talks to figure out how to deal with them.

I said I wanted to talk more than three times a week. She says this won't work. She wants less contact -- much less. She also canceled our next in-person get-together. I feel like our relationship is heading for the rocks. When I expressed this, my girlfriend continued to insist everything is "fine" and we could have the same relationship with less contact. I disagree. What do you think? -- COMPLETELY THROWN

DEAR THROWN: Because this lady didn't elaborate on what challenges she's facing, I think the abrupt change in her behavior may be her way of trying to let you down easy. I can't guess what may have caused her change of heart, but please accept my sympathy.

DEAR ABBY: A family member does beautiful scrapbooks year-round. Her work is remarkable, and everyone enjoys looking at the finished product. I have become the photographer. Here is my dilemma: I know not everyone likes to have his or her picture taken. How do I approach this? I think it would be awkward to poll everyone about whether it's OK before snapping their photos. A group shot at the end of, say, Christmas Day seems rather understated. Too often, I feel like the paparazzi. What are your thoughts? -- SHUTTERBUG IN COLORADO

DEAR SHUTTERBUG: My "thought" is that you are very considerate. In addition, I think that before snapping a picture it's polite to ask the subjects if they would like to be included in the shot, or take a moment to put on some lipstick, a hat or pose with their "better side" to the camera. (It's also a surefire way for anyone in witness protection to move out of range of the camera.)

DEAR READERS: Happy Father's Day to fathers everywhere -- birth fathers, stepfathers, adoptive and foster fathers, grandfathers and all of those caring men who mentor children and fill the role of absent dads.

P.S. Also, a big shout-out to dual-role moms. I applaud you all -- today and every day. -- LOVE, ABBY

DEAR ABBY: When my sibling and I were 6 and 10, our parents sat us down and told us they were getting a divorce because Dad had an affair. Mom was, to say the least, incredibly hurt. Her hurt and resentment haven't subsided to this day. Dad has never apologized to her, but he has supported her financially ever since.

Mom has tried therapy, but the minute a therapist upsets her, she stops going. My parents both now live near my sister to help care for her twins. Mom is constantly upset with things Dad does or that he's not friendly enough with her. She says he is nicer to strangers than he is with her.

I don't want to seem insensitive, but they have now been divorced longer than they were married. It's exhausting, and it is starting to feel like we are enabling her. I hate that what happened has defined the last two decades of her life. Is there something I can say to communicate that it's way past time to be over this, but in a nicer way that may be helpful, and maybe won't leave her too much room to tell me I'm victim blaming? -- WHAT'S PAST HAS PASSED

DEAR WHAT'S PAST: I, too, am sorry about what happened to your parents' marriage. That your mother has been unable to move beyond the divorce and quits therapy the minute a therapist says something she doesn't want to hear is very sad -- for her. What you need to understand is that some people cling to their "victimhood" for comfort. It buffers them from having to recognize their own contribution to their failure.

Because you have tried in the past without success to help your mother let go of her bitterness, I'm advising you to stop trying. For your own sake, when she starts complaining about your father, change the subject, end the conversation or tune out. Enabling her isn't helping either of you.

DEAR ABBY: My husband and I have a business and work together. He takes care of sales, and I keep the books. I have raised his children, scheduled all appointments and taken care of everyone's needs, including the pets. I also do all the cooking, cleaning, laundry, shopping, etc.

I tend to suffer from depression and need at least eight hours of sleep each night. Because of this, I work at the office only four to five hours a day. My husband cannot understand why I don't work eight to 10 hours a day. I get done what needs to be done. Of the many other businesses we've known, the wives are expected to do this. How do I make him understand? -- WORKING ENOUGH IN CALIFORNIA

DEAR WORKING ENOUGH: From your description of your weekly activities, you are not only living up to normal expectations, but exceeding them. Explain to your husband that people are individuals. Human bodies don't all function alike. If he can't get that through his head, have your doctor explain it to him.

Has he considered what it would cost him to hire someone else to do all the jobs you are doing? Perhaps he should consider that before criticizing and flogging you to do more. Tell him you'll spend an extra hour or so at the office if he agrees to take up some of the slack at home.

P.S. I can understand why you "tend to suffer from depression." You are married to a slave driver.