DEAR ABBY: Two years ago, at a national conference, I bumped into a woman I had dated decades ago. We started dating again, even though she lives in Phoenix and I live in the Midwest. The geographical distance between us is challenging, but we made it work through phone calls and traveling to see each other at least once a month.

It was working so well that we began discussing my relocating to Arizona so we could move in together. I thought that was our future until earlier this week. My lady friend just told me she wants to reduce the number of phone calls we've been having each week to three or less. She explained she needs more time to herself to deal with "challenges" she has been facing, and everything is fine with our relationship.

I was shocked because we had been talking two or more times a day as well as exchanging text messages. We have both faced significant challenges during our relationship and we had used our talks to figure out how to deal with them.

I said I wanted to talk more than three times a week. She says this won't work. She wants less contact -- much less. She also canceled our next in-person get-together. I feel like our relationship is heading for the rocks. When I expressed this, my girlfriend continued to insist everything is "fine" and we could have the same relationship with less contact. I disagree. What do you think? -- COMPLETELY THROWN

DEAR THROWN: Because this lady didn't elaborate on what challenges she's facing, I think the abrupt change in her behavior may be her way of trying to let you down easy. I can't guess what may have caused her change of heart, but please accept my sympathy.

DEAR ABBY: A family member does beautiful scrapbooks year-round. Her work is remarkable, and everyone enjoys looking at the finished product. I have become the photographer. Here is my dilemma: I know not everyone likes to have his or her picture taken. How do I approach this? I think it would be awkward to poll everyone about whether it's OK before snapping their photos. A group shot at the end of, say, Christmas Day seems rather understated. Too often, I feel like the paparazzi. What are your thoughts? -- SHUTTERBUG IN COLORADO

DEAR SHUTTERBUG: My "thought" is that you are very considerate. In addition, I think that before snapping a picture it's polite to ask the subjects if they would like to be included in the shot, or take a moment to put on some lipstick, a hat or pose with their "better side" to the camera. (It's also a surefire way for anyone in witness protection to move out of range of the camera.)

DEAR READERS: Happy Father's Day to fathers everywhere -- birth fathers, stepfathers, adoptive and foster fathers, grandfathers and all of those caring men who mentor children and fill the role of absent dads.

P.S. Also, a big shout-out to dual-role moms. I applaud you all -- today and every day. -- LOVE, ABBY

DEAR ABBY: When my sibling and I were 6 and 10, our parents sat us down and told us they were getting a divorce because Dad had an affair. Mom was, to say the least, incredibly hurt. Her hurt and resentment haven't subsided to this day. Dad has never apologized to her, but he has supported her financially ever since.

Mom has tried therapy, but the minute a therapist upsets her, she stops going. My parents both now live near my sister to help care for her twins. Mom is constantly upset with things Dad does or that he's not friendly enough with her. She says he is nicer to strangers than he is with her.

I don't want to seem insensitive, but they have now been divorced longer than they were married. It's exhausting, and it is starting to feel like we are enabling her. I hate that what happened has defined the last two decades of her life. Is there something I can say to communicate that it's way past time to be over this, but in a nicer way that may be helpful, and maybe won't leave her too much room to tell me I'm victim blaming? -- WHAT'S PAST HAS PASSED

DEAR WHAT'S PAST: I, too, am sorry about what happened to your parents' marriage. That your mother has been unable to move beyond the divorce and quits therapy the minute a therapist says something she doesn't want to hear is very sad -- for her. What you need to understand is that some people cling to their "victimhood" for comfort. It buffers them from having to recognize their own contribution to their failure.

Because you have tried in the past without success to help your mother let go of her bitterness, I'm advising you to stop trying. For your own sake, when she starts complaining about your father, change the subject, end the conversation or tune out. Enabling her isn't helping either of you.

DEAR ABBY: My husband and I have a business and work together. He takes care of sales, and I keep the books. I have raised his children, scheduled all appointments and taken care of everyone's needs, including the pets. I also do all the cooking, cleaning, laundry, shopping, etc.

I tend to suffer from depression and need at least eight hours of sleep each night. Because of this, I work at the office only four to five hours a day. My husband cannot understand why I don't work eight to 10 hours a day. I get done what needs to be done. Of the many other businesses we've known, the wives are expected to do this. How do I make him understand? -- WORKING ENOUGH IN CALIFORNIA

DEAR WORKING ENOUGH: From your description of your weekly activities, you are not only living up to normal expectations, but exceeding them. Explain to your husband that people are individuals. Human bodies don't all function alike. If he can't get that through his head, have your doctor explain it to him.

Has he considered what it would cost him to hire someone else to do all the jobs you are doing? Perhaps he should consider that before criticizing and flogging you to do more. Tell him you'll spend an extra hour or so at the office if he agrees to take up some of the slack at home.

P.S. I can understand why you "tend to suffer from depression." You are married to a slave driver.

DEAR ABBY: I am engaged to be married, and I'm over-the-moon excited. My grown daughter will be my maid of honor, and I had all my bridesmaids picked out. My sister is the issue. Her new boyfriend (she goes through a lot of them) makes my daughter uncomfortable. He has tried repeatedly to add her to his social media accounts, some of which contain disturbing sexual content.

I told my sister that while I want her in the wedding, my daughter comes first, and he won't be allowed to be around us or to participate. My sister has, predictably, sided with him. She insists I'm unreasonable and that he's a great guy, although she has known him for only three months. Am I wrong? -- BRIDE-TO-BE IN TEXAS

DEAR BRIDE-TO-BE: You are not wrong; you have your priorities in order. If your daughter intuitively feels your sister's boyfriend of three months makes her uncomfortable, her feelings should be respected. Stick to your guns and, if necessary, be prepared to replace your sister in the wedding party.

DEAR ABBY: My son and his wife struggled through the COVID-19 pandemic. He lost his job. My wife and I supported them through this period by paying their mortgage and most of their living expenses. He has recently started a good, career-oriented job.

However, his wife recently discovered that he has been secretly spending beyond their means for years on "toys," and that unbeknownst to her, he has decimated their savings and accumulated substantial debt. When she confronted him, he said he had a "spending addiction." To top it off, they have a pandemic baby, our granddaughter. We are at our wits' end. What should we do? -- NOT MADE OF MONEY

DEAR NOT MADE: What should you do? Stop opening your wallet. The real question is: What is your son going to do about this? If he's truly addicted to spending beyond his means (people sometimes have been known to attempt to cope with depression by shopping), he needs more help than you can give. If he wants to regain control of his life, he should consider joining Spenders Anonymous (spenders.org) or Debtors Anonymous (debtorsanonymous.org). Both are 12-step programs for individuals who are in the same situation as your son.

DEAR ABBY: My lifelong friend is bipolar. She refuses to get counseling but does take medication. While I try to be compassionate and encouraging, she has morphed into a complete drama queen. If she has a headache, she is sure it's brain cancer. If she has a hangnail, it will undoubtedly require amputation. She excels at constant whining. I can't just turn my back on her, but sometimes I have had my fill of "poor me." Am I being a horrible friend? -- HAVE MY LIMITS IN CALIFORNIA

DEAR HAVE: No. From your description, your friend is not only bipolar, but also may suffer from hypochondria. Because you find her complaints stressful and aggravating, you have the right to ration your exposure to her behavior.