DEAR ABBY: My sister, who was a bright and cheerful star for everyone and anyone, was diagnosed with a brain tumor. It was removed with almost 100% margins several years ago. Our family feels unbelievably blessed that she's OK, but she knows she's not the same. This is ignored by some close relatives, but not by me.

I will forever be grateful for the fact that she's alive and OK, but she is not the sister I once knew no matter how hard she may try. I sympathize with her, I listen, I know she struggles because she's missing her old self. I try with heartfelt messages, but ultimately, I feel useless. And, selfish as it sounds, I miss my sister, my true sister, terribly.

I know this isn't what she wants, and I will be there for her no matter what the future brings. But what else can I do for her? I want to be anything she needs me to be, as she is more than deserving. -- SUPPORTIVE SIS IN VIRGINIA

DEAR SIS: While some of her capacity may be diminished, what your sister needs is you to be her stalwart sister and love her for the person she is now. Support her, love her, appreciate that she's still with you and quit focusing on those aspects of her personality that are lost. I say this because it isn't healthy for either of you to dwell on the negative at this point, when there is so much for which to be thankful.

DEAR ABBY: I divorced my husband of 12 years after catching him cheating with multiple women. I took time for myself and wasn't in a hurry to meet anyone. However, about a year after the divorce, I met a great guy. I was quickly introduced to his family and they embraced me, inviting me to holidays and birthday parties, etc.

Four years went by and we started talking about marriage. We made plans to have our wedding at our favorite beach with family and a couple of friends. There were several people we would have loved to take part, but who couldn't due to the pandemic.

Before the ceremony, my husband and I came up with the idea of wearing white face masks to take a group picture. As the masks were being distributed, his family got angry and said they weren't going to do anything they didn't want to do. They then stomped off and wouldn't participate in the vows or any of the pictures.

They're angry with me, and I am hurt. And the hateful things they said also hurt my husband. I don't know how to handle this. -- BAD IDEA IN FLORIDA

DEAR BAD IDEA: What happened was terrible, and I can't blame you for feeling hurt at the treatment you and your husband received on your wedding day. However, this is the tribe you married into. Your husband's family may have reacted strongly because they objected to having their faces covered in a photo or to face masks in general. If it was the latter, it's a shame they felt they had to take a political stance while you were celebrating your nuptials.

Try to be forgiving. However, if you are abused again, recognize it may be time to distance yourselves and concentrate on your side of the family rather than your husband's.

DEAR ABBY: My sister-in-law is increasingly overbearing and abusive to me. It has always been a problem, but I ignored her nasty comments. Now, I am finally sick of it.

During the last year, she has begun to insist my husband retire. She wants us to close the doors of a business we have operated for 43 years. We are highly successful. We have more than 23 employees who depend on their salaries for their livelihood, and the business is valuable.

I have tried to tell her nicely to butt out, but it has only made her more abusive. I can't draw Social Security yet, so I wouldn't have an income. My husband won't say much about it. Now she's soliciting our friends to call us and harass us about retiring. Help! -- STILL WORKING IN VIRGINIA

DEAR STILL WORKING: If anyone tells you to retire and sell your business, an appropriate response would be, "I know you mean well, but when we're ready to retire, we will let you know."

DEAR ABBY: I have been involved with someone for more than a year, and he has proposed. Being in a long-distance relationship has been very difficult. In the beginning, he was very attentive. He lives in Tennessee, and I am in Oregon.

I love him very much and I thought we were going to have a future together. However, he is very busy with his career so it's difficult making plans. We have set wedding dates a couple of times, and it's always getting put on hold.

My problem lately is he hasn't been responding to me by text or email. He said he loves me, but I don't understand why he hasn't gotten ahold of me. What do I do now? -- HANGING IN THE BALANCE

DEAR HANGING: I wish you had mentioned how long it has been since he has communicated with you. Could he be sick, injured or incarcerated? If it is none of those and it has been more than a couple of weeks, it would be fair to assume his enthusiasm has cooled, and you should reconsider the long-distance engagement.

DEAR ABBY: I am a nonbeliever and I need advice about how to respond when people "send prayers, are praying for you and yours, etc." There are countless "prayer" messages on social media for all occasions. I never know what to say because I don't pray, nor do I send prayers to anyone. Sending "warm thoughts" seems lame. What would be an appropriate response? -- AWKWARD IN NEW MEXICO

DEAR AWKWARD: You are not obligated to mention anything about God or prayers. If prayers are addressed to you, thank the sender for their thoughtfulness. If they are addressed to you and your family, include the word "we." If, however, the life challenge is someone else's, some appropriate responses might be, "I am sorry for your pain. I am sending warm thoughts, love, (etc.), with wishes for a speedy recovery, deepest sympathy, (etc.)."

DEAR ABBY: I've been married to my husband, "Derrick," for 32 years. We consider each other to be our best friend, except he refuses to allow me to see or use his iPad. (He has it password-protected.)

Derrick and I have been together since high school and have maintained a very good relationship. I'm not sure why it bothers me so much that he refuses to let me see his text messages or emails. I don't think he's cheating, but my intuition is sending me warning signals that this can't be good. Should I be concerned, and should I confront him? -- OPEN BOOK IN NEW YORK

DEAR OPEN BOOK: Has Derrick always been this territorial, or is his secretiveness something fairly recent? If it's the latter, then your intuition is telling you something important and you should be concerned. Before you "confront" him, ask yourself what you intend to do if your worst fears are realized, and be prepared for that. Once that's done, tell your husband what you have told me -- that hiding his texts and emails has made you afraid he has been straying, and you need reassurance.

P.S. In the 33 years my late husband and I were together, I never, ever felt the need to look at his wallet, his mail or email, or phone because he never gave me reason to. He was always very open, and told me I was welcome to. The reverse was also true. Neither of us kept secrets from the other. That is what I would wish for you and Derrick.

DEAR ABBY: My 80-year-old mother has always been "difficult." She's always the victim/martyr and creates drama by fabricating lies, spreading half-truths and embellishing. I have very little contact with her (maybe a text once a month). During a recent physical examination, she was screened for dementia. She passed every test with flying colors.

I am retired, and my husband will be retiring soon. We are considering moving out of state, but I am getting a lot of pushback about it from her friends and a few extended family members. I feel my husband and I have worked hard and deserve to retire wherever we see fit.

How do I respond to people trying to heap guilt on me for "abandoning my elderly parent"? I would like a snappy comeback to their comments. -- FLEEING IN ILLINOIS

DEAR FLEEING: It seems there is never a shortage of "concerned" individuals speaking out about things that are none of their business. I vote for telling them the truth with no sugar coating: "Mom and I have never been close. Our communication is infrequent and usually in the form of a monthly text. Her doctors say she's in excellent health, and we are not worried. This move is something my husband and I have planned for a long time. I'm sure that if anything changes with her you will let me know, and we will handle it then." Period.