DEAR ABBY: My 55-year-old husband and I have been married more than 25 years. Our marriage has been challenging, but we now have three adult sons to help succeed in the world, one of whom has a chronic severe health condition.

My biggest problem is my husband won't stop pointing out how much he notices I'm aging. He says I'm going downhill. I don't ask for his opinion or open the discussion. If I'm not "in the mood" after he has been staring at his phone for hours, probably looking at nude women as I've seen him do many times, he calls me a shriveled-up prune.

He also constantly comments about younger women on TV, in the movies or even on the local news, and says things like, "Where's that juicy young blonde who was on the news before?" Or he tells me how much I resemble an old woman on TV who looks like she's 20 years older than I am. He also never fails to point out young women who still have their "baby fat," which I don't.

He says he loves me and hugs and kisses me every day, but then he acts so creepy I don't want him touching me. He is really starting to disgust and confuse me. He knows how I feel about this. Now he's telling me I'm crazy because of how I feel about his behavior. I don't know why he's acting like this. It seems like he's looking for an excuse to stray. I have been told before that he has incurable narcissism. -- FADING IN WASHINGTON

DEAR FADING: Couples are supposed to love each other for who they are, not their appearance. Your husband is emotionally abusive. His hostility is blatant. That he would expect you to have sex with him after hours on his cellphone -- and no foreplay -- is incredibly naive.

Could he be deliberately trying to sabotage your marriage? A marriage and family therapist might be able to get to the bottom of this, but if counseling doesn't help, you may have to let your adult sons fend for themselves and start taking care of yourself.

DEAR ABBY: I have this friend I have known since I was 9. She's a very good friend, but she doesn't get along with my boyfriend. They fight, and when they do, I'm stuck in the middle. I have spoken to both of them many times and asked them to coexist for my sake. They both try hard, but we all feel like we are walking on eggshells -- especially me. How do I handle being with them for holiday celebrations and special occasions at my apartment? -- UNEASY IN MASSACHUSETTS

DEAR UNEASY: I wish you had mentioned which one is causing these "fights." Mature individuals opt to "agree to disagree" and change the subject, rather than allow an argument to degenerate into open conflict. Explain this to both of them, and the next time you are caught in the middle, ask the person who picked the fight to do that -- or leave. And, if things don't get better, celebrate with them separately as often as possible.

HAPPY NEW YEAR TO MY ASIAN READERS WHO CELEBRATE THE LUNAR NEW YEAR: The Year of the Tiger begins today. Those born in the Year of the Tiger are brave, competitive, unpredictable and confident. Famous Tiger Year people are Tom Cruise, Leonardo DiCaprio, Lady Gaga and Queen Elizabeth II. I am wishing a happy, healthy new year to all who are celebrating this holiday. -- LOVE, ABBY

DEAR ABBY: I am a 17-year-old male whose mom passed away six months ago. From the time I was a small child, she was mean to me and never had time for me, but I never wished her dead. She was mean to my dad as well.

Since her passing, Dad has gone crazy about women. He has them over spending the night all the time or he goes and stays at their house. I have talked to him about it, but he says he deserves to be happy. I'm an only child and I'd like for him to be here for me. What can I do? I feel so lonely. I'm too much of an introvert to speak to anyone about this. -- LONELY IN THE SOUTH

DEAR LONELY IN THE SOUTH: Please accept my sympathy for your loss. I am concerned because you are so isolated. While it may not be easy to talk about your feelings, it's the best way to deal with the pain you are experiencing.

Is there another relative in whom you can confide? The parent of a friend, a trusted teacher or counselor, or a religious adviser? Any of them could offer a willing ear and a soft shoulder. The only thing you should NOT do is keep these feelings bottled up inside because, if you do, they will only grow. I am sorry you are going through this alone. You appear to be more emotionally mature than your dad.

DEAR ABBY: For the last four or five years I have been receiving holiday cards from an ex-girlfriend of mine. I haven't had contact with her since meeting my wife. My wife and I have been together for six years, married for two. The cards keep coming and it's starting to make my wife uncomfortable. How do I respectfully tell my ex to quit sending them? I don't have anything in common with this person other than that we used to be boyfriend and girlfriend back in high school. -- MARRIED NOW IN MASSACHUSETTS

DEAR MARRIED: This old flame may be simply trying to be friends, and not intend to pose a threat to your marriage. A way to discourage her might be to send her holiday greetings from you and your wife with a picture of the two of you, your kids if you have any, pets, etc. If you don't send Christmas greetings, perhaps a snapshot of you and your wife on vacation would suffice -- or a wedding picture may get the message across.

DEAR ABBY: I work in a small office. We are allowing people to come in for meetings, to drop off information, etc. and we have asked that people wear a mask if they come in. I don't wear mine when I am at my desk alone; however, as soon as someone comes in or I get up to move around the office, I put it on right away.

A few clients who have come in maskless have said, as I grab my mask, "Oh, you don't need to put that on for me." I reply (nicely) with, "Yes, I do!" I wear my mask to protect others and I would appreciate reciprocity on their part. Do you have a better response? -- JUST DOING MY PART

DEAR JUST DOING: After saying, "Yes, I do," add the next sentence you wrote to me, which explains your reasoning: "I wear my mask to protect others and I would appreciate reciprocity on your part." It is succinct, polite and gets across the message you are trying to convey. It's also company policy.

DEAR ABBY: A friend recently moved back to his home state. Because he was anxious about leaving, I told him he could stay with me anytime he wanted. I was trying to be nice and calm his nerves, but he has taken me literally and thinks he can come stay whenever he likes.

When he visits, we rarely spend time together outside of my house. He's off with other friends for dining, boating, etc. (By the way, I know these people but I'm never invited, which is OK I suppose, but shouldn't I be?) In addition, he leaves piles of clothes lying around in my living area, along with used tissues and face masks, which seems disrespectful.

Am I wrong to be annoyed? Other friends think I'm being taken advantage of. I would appreciate your thoughts. -- TOO NICE A GUY IN GEORGIA

DEAR TOO NICE: Do not blame your friend for taking advantage of the generous offer you made before he moved. And no rule of etiquette dictates that you should be included on his outings with others if he's an invited guest. (It would have been thoughtful had he suggested it, however.) I do think you are overdue in having a talk with him about the clothes, used face masks and tissues "lying around."

The bottom line is, do YOU feel you are being taken advantage of? If the answer is yes, speak up and express that while you don't mind him staying with you occasionally, he should not assume your house is his pad in town.

DEAR ABBY: I have a wonderful 31-year-old son who is in a relationship with a lovely young woman. It's likely they'll be married in a year or two. They work hard in their careers and enjoy good food and wine, and I'm happy for them both.

I've noticed, however, that over the last year my son has steadily put on weight and is having some trouble with his complexion. I'm concerned that he has acquired the habit of overindulging himself and that, over time, he will continue gaining weight and drinking too much. His girlfriend looks great -- she manages her weight very well.

I know my observations will be unwelcome, so I don't share them with him. I think it's the right choice, but it's really hard to hold back. We do discuss health in general, as it's a mutual interest, but that's as far as it goes. His father passed away a few years ago, so, sadly, he's not around to share my concerns with. What should I do? -- TREADING LIGHTLY IN NEW HAMPSHIRE

DEAR TREADING LIGHTLY: You are a caring parent. But your son is well into adulthood, and I don't think involving yourself in his weight problem would be well received. Many people (of both sexes) have put on weight over the last two years as a result of the pandemic. Because of that, you could encourage him to get a physical. If you do, his doctor might talk to him about his weight gain.