DEAR ABBY: My husband is close to retirement age and has his hands full with work and yardwork all year long. We have a lot of property to take care of. Two years ago, a retired neighbor asked him to clear the snow from her double driveway during the winter storms. (We don't own a plow.) She started giving him $20 for his hard work. This year, she decided to give him $10 when she felt like it.

This woman is well-off financially. She has two housekeepers, goes out to eat and vacations on a regular basis. When the snow falls, she calls our home constantly to have her driveways cleared even though my husband is at work. How do we put a stop to this when the snow starts falling this winter? -- FED UP IN PENNSYLVANIA

DEAR FED UP: Your husband has been a good neighbor; this woman hasn't acted like one. The next time you get a call like that when your husband is at work, TELL her your husband is "too busy" to help her out. Then suggest she hire a person or snow removal service that does it professionally. She can certainly afford it.

DEAR ABBY: I am at a crossroads. My wife and I have grown apart. I thought we could go to counseling to resolve it, but she wants no part of it. My issue is this: My daughter came to me asking why Mommy is kissing "Mr. Jones" and telling him she loves him. I can handle the heartbreak, but for my daughter to see this kills me inside. How do I confront this? -- HEARTBROKEN FOR MY CHILD

DEAR HEARTBROKEN: Talk to your wife about what your daughter told you. When couples separate, they usually try to spare their young children the details of their romantic lives until enough time has passed for the kids to adjust to the breakup. That your wife couldn't wait to do this is regrettable. Because she refuses counseling, if you haven't talked to an attorney, the time to do it is now.

DEAR ABBY: My daughter-in-law's mother has a brother who is a pastor. Recently, they held a small Sunday morning service at my daughter-in-law's house. The brother wanted to do a "laying on of hands," where he would say a short prayer about each person.

When it was my turn, he put his hand on my head and prayed for "all my bad habits" to be healed. I was mortified. This was in front of my grown sons and other people I know. Everyone has some bad habits, but why would he single me out to shame and embarrass like that? I don't think his intentions were holy. Advice? -- FEELING ABUSED IN FLORIDA

DEAR FEELING ABUSED: You would feel less "abused" had you told that tasteless individual how his "blessing" made you feel when it happened. However, if you have his phone number, it's still not too late. You deserve an apology. And if you are invited to any more of those small religious services, I suggest you politely decline.

DEAR ABBY: My husband of 16 years has been airing our dirty laundry to anyone who will listen, including my 35-year-old son. We live in a small town and have lots of ties here. People who were once quick to come up and say hi no longer do so. In fact, most are avoiding me by heading in the opposite direction in the stores or in parking lots.

I have asked my husband to keep our business between us and not discuss our personal lives with others, but he continues to do it anyway. His mother is the go-to for him and she has now canceled our Saturday outings. I'm so disgusted by all of this that I want to end the marriage.

The home we live in is mine -- I paid in full for it before I met him, and it is all I have. I have asked him to leave, but he refuses, saying he's going to "take me for everything and more." Should I hire an attorney at the risk of possibly making things worse, or wait until things calm down? -- AFRAID AND CONFUSED IN CALIFORNIA

DEAR AFRAID: Do not wait for things to "calm down." In light of what your husband has threatened, it is extremely important that you start talking to lawyers about what's going on and how to protect yourself. Talk to several because you can gain a wider perspective. While you may not be able to salvage your reputation in that community because of what your husband has been spreading, you will be able to prevent him from fleecing you. Please accept my sympathy.

DEAR ABBY: I have a good friend who wants to help everyone. She has been in a relationship with a man for 25 years. She does not get along with his 40-something-year-old son, who lives with and mooches off his dad. He also has his 8-year-old grandson living there. Because her boyfriend has always promised marriage, she hangs on.

The son is a drug addict and not supposed to be around the grandson, but everyone enables everyone. My friend finally moved out a few years ago, but she is back again. The boyfriend is now battling cancer and has her there to help the grandson with online learning and to take care of all three of them -- cleaning, laundry, grocery shopping, rides to doctors and cooking.

Her boyfriend is retired now and has a lot of money, and his house is paid off. She's 63 and thinks if he dies, she'll get a portion of his estate, but he won't put anything in writing. I keep telling her she's a fool and he won't change. Is she wasting the golden years of her life? -- INVOLVED FRIEND IN MINNESOTA

DEAR INVOLVED: Yup! The "boyfriend" has her exactly where he wants her -- as a source of free labor and with no guarantee about her future. If it is security she's hoping for, I regretfully agree that she's wasting the golden years of her life.

DEAR ABBY: My 23-year-old daughter is dating a transgender woman, "Holly." My family is accepting, and we love Holly. However, she has been met with varying levels of acceptance from some of our friends.

Recently, one of them, "Gina," invited our family to an upcoming poolside barbecue at their home. Gina's mother (who lives with them) told my daughter she should bring her girlfriend. Normally, Holly would not accompany us, as she works odd hours, but she happened to have this day off.

Gina and her mother are accepting, nonjudgmental people. Gina's husband is not. I don't like him, but I tolerate him for Gina's sake. My main concern was Holly's safety and well-being, but she wanted to come despite knowing what he's like. When I called Gina to make sure he wouldn't make trouble, she told me she didn't think it would be a problem, but she would give him a heads-up. She called me right back afterward, extremely apologetic, saying he reacted very badly, and she didn't think it was a good idea to bring Holly.

I think she was more than a little naive about her husband's ability to accept Holly, but I know it's not her fault and I'm not upset with her. However, I am left with an awkward situation. My daughter wants to stay home with Holly now, which I'm fine with. I told Gina weeks ago that I would attend her party. But now I feel like I am betraying my daughter and Holly, and I'm not looking forward to being around Gina's husband at all. I honestly am not sure what the right thing to do here is. Any advice would be welcome. -- PROGRESSIVE MOM IN THE SOUTH

DEAR MOM: The right thing to do would be to follow your heart. In this sad situation, that would be conveying your regrets to Gina and, in the future, seeing her apart from her husband, who you can't stand anyway.

DEAR ABBY: My son recently found out he has a school-age son. I'll call the boy "Billy." Billy has stayed overnight with me and gone on several outings. Billy's mom has another child who is slightly older. During our last visit, Billy's half-brother asked me if he could come next time. I responded with, "We'll see."

When I spoke to my husband about it, he said, "You don't want to start something." I agree with him. I have no responsibility toward the other sibling. I enjoy being with Billy, but I'm concerned about the animosity his half-brother might feel toward Billy, because he has to travel with his mother when Billy visits. -- BILLY'S GRANDMA

DEAR BILLY's GRANDMA: I strongly disagree with your husband's advice. If you see Billy and habitually exclude his half-brother, you will "start something," and the something you start will be hurt feelings and a troubled relationship between those siblings. If you can't find it in your heart to sometimes include the other boy and treat them both with love and kindness, don't see either of them.