DEAR ABBY: My daughter is getting married. Due to COVID restrictions, she had to cut back her guest list after sending "save the dates." She wrote nice letters to those who were now uninvited, explaining the situation and how devastated she was. Well, one of my two sisters received a letter, and my family is falling apart over it.
My daughter and her fiance chose to keep the people they were closest to and who are a part of their close church family. My sister did not meet that criteria. However, my daughter is extremely close to sister No. 2, who was invited.
I am helping to pay for the wedding, but because the situation has become so stressful for my daughter, I have chosen not to push the issue. I'm losing sleep and what's left of my relationship with my excluded sister over this. My mom is also devastated. The sister who was invited says I need to fix this. The shunned sister says she wouldn't come even if she was given a pity invite. I'm sick about this. How do I move forward? -- NAUSEOUS IN NEW YORK
DEAR NAUSEOUS: Regrettable as it is, what's done is done. Your shunned sister says she wouldn't attend your daughter's wedding if she were invited at this late date. Your daughter and her fiance issued those invitations without your input, and now they will suffer the consequences.
Move forward by apologizing to your sister for your daughter's unfortunate "mistake" and assuring her that your relationship with her is unchanged. If your sister is the only person in your family who wasn't on the guest list, she has a right to her hurt feelings and, frankly, I sympathize with her. But this should not create a permanent rift in your entire family.