DEAR ABBY: Two years ago, I met a wonderful man online. He's from Wales in the U.K. He's 21 years younger than I am, so, naturally, I'm cautious about how our relationship will hold up through the years. (He's 42; I'm 63.)

He says I am everything he's dreamed of, and more. He's nonjudgmental, kind, sweet and very witty. His intelligence amazes me. I love and respect him more than any person I have ever known. Is it possible to have a long-lasting relationship when there is this kind of age difference? -- FOUND MR. WONDERFUL

DEAR FOUND: It is possible, but it is unusual. If you know this person only online, I caution you to get to know him, his family and his friends in person before making any formal commitments. I say this because he may not actually be the person he is representing himself to be, and women in your situation have been taken advantage of. This man may be married. Because of this, you should never send him money, even if it's only a "temporary loan."

DEAR ABBY: My sister is the worship leader at our church, but I sometimes fill in for her. When I do, I receive a lot of compliments in the form of comparing the two of us. For example, "Your sister is great, but I like it better when you sing." It makes me uncomfortable because I want us both to do well in life. I have no desire to outshine my sister. How can I correct this when it happens without shaming the person? -- EMBARRASSED IN AURORA

DEAR EMBARRASSED: Make a list of things your sister does better than you in her capacity as worship leader. Then respond to the compliment by saying, "Thanks for the kind words, but my sister is better than I am at ...", and mention several of them.

DEAR ABBY: I have been married for 22 years but I have a strong affection for my male best friend, "Ryder." He's extremely easy on the eyes, so much so that even strangers comment on how handsome he is. Sometimes we nap together and take turns being the big spoon. Occasionally, he will put his tongue in my ear, and I think it's cute. My husband is OK with it and shows no signs of jealousy. I'm pretty sure my feelings are reciprocated because when Ryder looks at me with those big brown eyes, it's as though he is shooting love daggers my way, and he winks at me often.

Next week my husband and I are having eye exams. Would it be too much to ask him to get colored contacts to match our German shepherd? -- DIANA IN CALIFORNIA

DEAR DIANA: That's a doggone good question. Since your husband hasn't objected to the spooning and the licking, I'm sure he would fur-give you.

DEAR ABBY: My daughter is pregnant with her second child. Her first, my granddaughter, is 2, and the light of my life. I lovingly offered to take care of her when it's time for my daughter to have the baby. She's having a C-section, so she may be in the hospital for a couple days.

My daughter wants me to come to her house one day out of every weekend to learn my granddaughter's routine. I have spent several weekends at her house doing this, but not every weekend, as I work full time from home and also have a full-time rental business (30 rental units) that I manage with my fiance.

Recently, my fiance has taken ill and is bedridden. Everything, including his care, has fallen on me. When I called my daughter to tell her I wouldn't be able to come for the weekends because of his illness and my other responsibilities, she lost it and became hateful and confrontational. I tried explaining that this is, hopefully, a temporary situation and that I will still be able to do what I promised, to no avail. Nothing I said appeased her. We are not talking, and I really cannot endure another confrontation with her. I am at a loss as to what to do. -- SIDELINED IN FLORIDA

DEAR SIDELINED: Give your pregnant, possibly hormonal, daughter time to cool off, and then contact her again. See if the two of you can work out an arrangement that's sensible. You already have your hands full, and the additional responsibilities because of your fiance's illness may prevent you from caring for your grandchild as you had planned. If she unloads on you again, tell her you know she's disappointed and so are you, but you can't handle another abusive confrontation and end the conversation. She will manage. Trust me.

DEAR ABBY: My friend was telling me about the delicious dinner he had last night at a local restaurant. His meal cost $8, and he raved to the waitress about how the food melted in his mouth and how incredible it tasted. He compared it favorably to the $70 dinner he'd had at another restaurant the night before. He then informed me he was "in and out of that restaurant for only $10."

My response was, "Are you telling me you left a $2 tip for THE most delicious meal you just ate?" He replied that he gave her a 25% tip and thought it was fair. I told him I thought he was cheap, and he could have given her more money at the very least for her effort in serving him. He said I should write you and ask, so here I am.

I realize a 20% to 25% tip is generally generous, but considering these times of pandemic and slower business, I think he could have done better. What do you think? -- FLABBERGASTED IN OHIO

DEAR FLABBERGASTED: Truthfully, those who can afford to do so should give more. The restaurant business has been decimated because of the extended COVID quarantines, and staff members have been hit hard in the pocketbook. That said, however, my suggestion would have been that your friend should have added a generous tip for the COOK sweating in the kitchen, who produced that memorable meal.

DEAR ABBY: Six months into the pandemic I was furloughed, then laid off a few months later. Because of the loss of income, I could no longer afford my rent and was forced to move. It was tough finding anything affordable in the area. A good friend from college ("Josie") and her husband own a big home with a detached guest house, and offered me the opportunity to rent for next to nothing until I found a new job. I was super happy about it because we are very close friends from college.

Josie, her husband and I often BBQ together and hang out watching movies. One night recently, Josie had to work late, and her husband and I had dinner and wine. We got pretty drunk, and I decided to turn in early. Before I went to bed, Josie's husband asked me to have a threesome. He said Josie was going to ask me, but she was nervous about it, so she chickened out. I think my jaw must have hit the ground. I didn't know what to say, so I told him I'd "think about it."

A week has passed and Josie hasn't mentioned anything about the threesome, but I'm scared to bring it up. I don't know if her husband was telling the truth. They MAY want a threesome, but I'm not into it. If I say "no" it might make things weird between us. What should I do? Should I ask Josie about it, or move out back home with my parents till I find a new job? -- NOT WHAT I BARGAINED FOR

DEAR NOT: The husband's drunken proposition has already made things weird, but let it go -- for now. I doubt this is something Josie is "too chicken" to ask you. IF he raises the subject again, make it plain that you are not into threesomes and not to ask again. If he presses further, inform your old college chum, pack your bags and go to your parents'.

DEAR ABBY: My husband's daughter "Crystal" is married to "Jeremy," who is a racist. I know this because of comments he has made over the past five years. At our only granddaughter's first birthday celebration, my husband and Jeremy got into a heated argument (a little politics, a little racism). Since we live out of state, we were supposed to stay with them, but we had to leave. Jeremy started screaming at my husband, calling him a pedophile and some other awful names.

Crystal is demanding an apology from us and refuses to communicate or send photos of the baby until he does. My husband feels that Crystal's mind is made up and she will defend her husband no matter what, so there's no point. I hate that we're at an impasse. She has cut me off as well. Do you have any suggestions? -- CUT OFF IN THE SOUTH

DEAR CUT OFF: Crystal, whose views on race seem to coincide with her husband's, has you sidelined already. When your husband craves contact with his daughter and his grandchild, he will hold his nose, reach out and offer to mend fences. Until that happens, listen to what he is telling you and stay out of this mess.