DEAR ABBY: When I was 16, my cousin "Mary" came from Georgia to New York to stay with us for the summer. After a short time we began experimenting with French kissing, which led to more things happening between us. Mary went home at the end of summer.
We are both 50 now, and I recently learned she became pregnant back then with a daughter and never married. The DNA indicates she is mine. My question is, how do I explain to my wife that I need to be there for my daughter? I never had any other kids, as my wife can't have children. Please help me. -- PAST HISTORY IN OKLAHOMA
DEAR PAST HISTORY: Is your wife aware of the short affair you had with your cousin? If not, start the conversation by telling her about your youthful "adventure." Once she has digested the information, explain that you intend to get to know your daughter. Do not tell her the reason is that she couldn't give you children, which would be cruel and unnecessary.
Understand, however, that your "child" is now a grown woman in her mid-30s. She may have no interest in getting to know you because you have been absent all her life. I wonder why you weren't informed about this much sooner and possibly asked to contribute financially to the raising of your child.