DEAR ABBY: My physician husband recently had a total hip replacement. (Orthopedics is not his specialty.) I'm a board-certified registered nurse with 40 years of experience who used to work inpatient orthopedics. He refuses to follow the surgeon's directions or mine, which are the same. He believes he knows more than all of us combined. However, when the home health nurse and physical therapist came, he accepted everything they told him. When I told him he doesn't respect my professional opinion, he didn't respond. Then I told him he'd insulted my integrity, and he blew up and accused me of being crazy.
History will soon repeat itself because he has to have his other hip done in a few months. I am to the point of letting the chips fall where they may and letting his outcomes (good or bad) be his sole responsibility. However, this is difficult to do as a wife and nurse. Plus, I will have to live with the fallout of any suboptimal outcomes. Your advice? -- HIP SERVICE IN FLORIDA
DEAR HIP SERVICE: Whether caused by a painful recovery or the drugs he has been prescribed, your husband's behavior is self-defeating. Because he ignores your and his surgeon's advice, you have no choice but to let the chips fall where they may. You can suggest and warn until you're hoarse, and your husband will continue to tune you out. The person who will have to live with the consequences is your noncompliant husband.
Allow me to offer a suggestion: Hire a nurse to tend to him after the second hip replacement and stay safely out of the line of fire. The peace of mind will be worth the money.