DEAR ABBY: After a bad breakup, a good friend and her husband offered me a room in their home. They have two wonderful teenagers. Then the pandemic came, and we all became infected.

What started out as a few months' plan for me to get back on my feet has lasted 14 months. I have offered to pay them some money, but they will accept only $200 to help with the groceries.

My problem is I have noticed that the husband is not very happy with my presence. I told my friend I'm ready to start looking for my own apartment, but she insists that I stay just a little longer so that I will be really stable on my own. She tells me how "I am family," and I'm not bothering anyone, and they have no complaints about me. I did not tell her what is really driving me out.

I'm really uncomfortable with his attitude toward me, and I understand that perhaps I have overstayed my welcome. My question: Should I leave and tell her I felt that I was no longer welcomed by her husband? Or should I just leave without telling her? Thanks for your input. -- UNCOMFORTABLE IN MIAMI

DEAR UNCOMFORTABLE: Do not sneak away. Do find a place of your own. Express to your friend that she has been a saint to allow you to live with them during this extended period, but it is clear the time has come for you to go. Tell her you will not only be fine but forever in their debt for their kindness to you.

P.S. As soon as it is feasible -- not before -- give them a nice gift for their home.

DEAR ABBY: I recently have been dating a neighbor woman who is a cat lover. I assume she owns many of them. (I haven't yet been inside her apartment.) My problem is, when she comes over to my place, the odor of cat urine is overpowering. How do I disclose that I'm disgusted by this cat smell without hurting her feelings or offending her? -- HOLDING MY NOSE IN OKLAHOMA

DEAR HOLDING: You have to say something. While the odor of cat urine may be attractive to other cats, it has also been known to act as people repellant.

Start slow. Lead into the subject by asking her how many felines she owns. When she answers, ask if they are all OK. Regardless of her response, explain that you are asking because one (or more) of her pets may be spraying her furniture or her clothing, and it has left an odor. This will give her the opportunity to rectify the problem. However, if she finds the truth offensive, so be it, because the relationship would not have worked out anyway.

DEAR READERS: I wish a very happy Mother's Day to mothers everywhere -- birth mothers, adoptive and foster mothers, stepmothers, grandmothers who are raising their grandchildren and dual-role dads. Orchids to all of you for the love you give not only today, but each and every day. -- LOVE, ABBY

DEAR ABBY: While shopping with a friend recently, I was put in an awkward situation in regard to a store discount. Having served in the military, I qualify for a discount at that particular store. She was aware of that discount, and while she was at the checkout lane, she yelled at me, "Hey, you! What's your phone number for your military discount?"

We are both retired and living on one income, although I am married and live on my husband's pension. She's retired from a job in the medical field, owns her home and shows up conveniently at friends' homes for coffee and food.

I was so dumbfounded at her request for the number that I gave it to her. I'm uncomfortable going shopping with her now. I haven't addressed it with her, and I have tried to avoid any shopping trips with her since that incident. It feels like she's stealing my valor since my husband and I served in the military. Am I too easily offended? -- RETIRED IN ALASKA

DEAR RETIRED: I'm glad you mentioned valor in your letter because it's time for you to summon up some more. Unless you want this person to continue taking advantage of you, set her straight. She is not entitled to the discount, and you must learn to refuse if and when she puts you in that position again.

DEAR ABBY: My ex-husband always had a difficult relationship with his family. I never understood and would force him to call them on holidays, birthdays and special occasions. We divorced after he had an affair. It was ugly at the start, but we are civil now.

Following the divorce, COVID and some bad decisions on his part, he has lost everything. He's now homeless and lives in his car or at motels. The other day he came to me desperate. I took him out of the cold for a while, fed him and dropped him off at a friend's. I then reached out to his family to tell them about how bad he is doing. I didn't even get to tell them before they cut me off saying they have washed their hands of him because of his bad decisions.

My ex isn't perfect, but although he never did anything to his family like he did to me, they are punishing him for that. Should I reach out to them again and tell them he needs them now more than ever, or should I just let it go like he told me to years ago? -- EX WITH A HEART

DEAR EX: If you think it will soften their hearts, contact them once more and tell them that you have forgiven him for the hurt he caused you and suggest they stop punishing him for it. However, it's entirely possible that some of your ex's other bad decisions may have affected his relatives. If that's the case, let the matter drop. Remember, there's a difference between being softhearted and softheaded, and he must solve his own problems without you being dragged back in.

DEAR ABBY: Six months ago, my husband, "Lee," met his long-lost sister, his father's daughter from a previous marriage. Lee's father passed away when he was 6; he is now 30.

Since he and his four siblings met their half-sister, she has become obsessive over him. She calls and keeps him on the phone for hours, three or four times a week. I didn't mind at first, but it has gotten out of control, and she constantly texts him.

If Lee doesn't respond, she texts him asking if he's angry. She expresses how "in love" she is with him and how happy she is to have met him. (She doesn't say these things to the others.) When I recently expressed my concern, he got offended.

How should I cope with this? She also says unflattering things about me to him and tries to turn him against me. I know, because I heard the whole conversation. -- PUT OFF IN NEW JERSEY

DEAR PUT OFF: Your husband may be flattered by the attention he's receiving from this newfound sibling, but I agree that what she's doing seems excessive. Your husband, however, is playing into it by being receptive and constantly available for these extended conversations and texts.

While you can't control who he talks to, you can express that you feel her behavior is out of line, you are concerned that she's trying to undermine your marriage, and suggest it may be time to step on the brakes with Sissy.

DEAR ABBY: I am attending my hubby's 50th class reunion, where I will not know a soul. Can you give me suggestions on topics to talk about? We grew up in different areas of the country. We live on a small farm in the countryside and have kids and grandkids. Thank you. -- PREPPING FOR A GOOD TIME

DEAR PREPPING: Go and enjoy yourself. Don't be nervous. Bring pictures of your farm, your children and the grandkids. View photos of your husband's classmates' families and say something complimentary. ("Aren't they adorable?") Ask what your husband was like when he was their classmate. People love to talk, so be a good listener. Discuss things that interest you and inquire about their interests and activities. The only topics to avoid are religion and politics.

DEAR ABBY: At 67, I'm an attractive woman. I always have been, but I have been out of the dating scene for several years. Now two men are interested in me.

One is someone I know from work. I have known him a year. He told me he always had a crush but was afraid to make a move. The second guy is someone I just met on a dating site. I haven't had a problem like this for 20 years! What to do? -- DILEMMA IN MASSACHUSETTS

DEAR DILEMMA: You don't have to make an immediate choice. Keep things casual and get to know them both better, assuming you haven't had a personal relationship with your co-worker. Take your time, let the relationships evolve. The answers will become apparent, and you won't have to ask me what (if anything) to do.